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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/19/2014 11:56:19 AM

StrongSpirit

Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline

As a single guy, this happened to me ALL the time. I am of course a wonderful catch, but also short. It meant I was a great "possibility", but not their first choice.

They are not 'catfishing' you. It sounds to me like they never were in a serious relationship with them - all online, no flesh. It is not an attempt to trick you, it is instead a sign that you, like I used to be (before I found Ms. Right), are a bit too selective.

Chances are you are picking people that are just barely in your league. As such, they consider you, but you never quite become their first choice. You can't expect men to stop looking at other women before they have even met you in real life.

I solved this issue by expanding my physical criteria and tightening my mental ones. I insisted my dates be smarter, and cared less about their weight, skin, hair, etc. Eventually I found a woman that loved my tango skills, brains, character etc. and did not care that I was half an inch shorter than her (more in heels).

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 21

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/19/2014 1:47:10 PM

AlphaFemsRule

Posts: 52
Joined: 1/7/2014
Status: offline

A lot of people probably just use CM an adjunct to their fantasy lives. They have no interest in actually meeting or actually connecting with someone -- but they don't tell you that up front because, if they did, you'd leave sooner and not supply them the conversation that fuels their fantasies. Once it gets to the point where it's time to put up or shut up, they flake because they were never interested in the first place. At least not interested in anything outside of online play.

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

Post #: 22

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/19/2014 2:27:43 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

ss, you missed the point [as did those passive-aggressive zingers...].
We're not talking about your experience with fly-by-nights-ers; those are easy; a task or two and they're gone. So is the block button [pewpew! and you're gone again].
Re-read the thread, and you'll see it's Dommes talking about malicious trolls and deliberate targetting.

BTW, I received another one while I've had this thread up...
Plus, ladies, have you noticed the prices of the guy who wants us to put out cigarettes on his parts as gone DOWN! Someone must have acquiesced ;-)

In the meantime, my criteria are perfect for my finding a lovely straight single sub who suits *me*; just wish Santa made more of them local!

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

Post #: 23

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/19/2014 3:30:34 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

BTW, I received another one while I've had this thread up...
Plus, ladies, have you noticed the prices of the guy who wants us to put out cigarettes on his parts as gone DOWN! Someone must have acquiesced ;-)

I just got one offering $500. When I said he'd been making the rounds for so long w/no takers he should up the ante he wrote back that I'm a retarded bitch cunt who should go fuck myself. Such a charmer. Is it any wonder he and people like him has to bait w/$$ to get attention?

< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 1/19/2014 3:38:20 PM >

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 24

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/19/2014 4:08:31 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

That's him! And a microphallus will shortly scold that it's all your fault, you should be ashamed of yourself for making, nay, FORCING men to react that way, and you just brought that bile-spew on yourself in 3... 2...

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)

Post #: 25

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/19/2014 4:24:12 PM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline

I've said this before, and I'll say it again here. There obviously is a fetish some people have for WASTING OTHERS' TIME.

It's there (like some other fetishes that disgust some), get used to it. Some Dommes charge money up front just to chat after dealing with these guys, I can't really blame them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Ladies: I've noticed more 'catfishing', that is, trolls masquerading as desirable potential subs, then after engaging in conversation, disappear.
And not just the 'hitting the keyboard with their semi-erections', but with sophisticated profiles and responses.
Of course, once they're caught in their lies or have to do a task or meet in real-life, they're gone, but it's still an annoying waste of time, and demeaning to truly good men.

Anyone else? Or just me? Either way: le sigh!
Thanks.

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 26

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/19/2014 4:31:16 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

*claps hands* Oooh, a word-game!
Ladies, let's think of a nice Latin or Greek name or acronym for this gross fetish: I'll start:

TIMe-Wasting WankEr against WomEn: TimWeWe

or:
sociopathiaphilia

but I think I'll go with:
Tempus Fucker [tempus fugit = time flies]!

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)

Post #: 27

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/19/2014 4:35:59 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

OMG!

I like timwewe.

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 28

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/19/2014 4:36:18 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

or 'clit tease':

'Clitero-Fatigo!'
There ya go!

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 29

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/20/2014 1:56:39 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

I remember watching the film 'Catfish' and wondering how many women and men on sites like this are doing what she did.

I was chatting to a guy recently who lives in London and works for a London law firm. I didn't ask for pictures because I'm not looking for a sub but he sent them anyway. He looked like a decent enough guy, though I wondered why he had sent me a picture of himself with his ex Domme!. He said he wanted to see if I knew her as she was very well known on the London scene. I did a google image search (I always do!) on both pictures and what came up was an author who lives in Iowa. I read the long interview about his life, his wife, his children and the woman who interviewed him was the Domme he claimed as his ex!.

This guy had seriously done his home work. He knew where the large law chambers were in London and a great deal about law. He spoke about the London clubs, in fact that's what we had in common and why I was chatting away to him in the first place. I believe he thought I was a safe option because he knew I wasn't looking but at least he could be friends with a Domme and perhaps impress her!

When I wrote to him with the links 'ZAP' he was gone, never to be seen again... hopefully! The thing is, was he really the man in the picture? or was he in fact from London and sent me a false picture because he knew we would never really meet? Whoever he was, he was a cunning game player who found out snippets about a person and then homed in.

These sort of people are very predatory. They are often very clever (cunning), hugely selfish and no doubt very unhappy in their day to day life and sadly there's a lot of em.

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(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 30

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/20/2014 6:27:07 AM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Thanks, Maria.

Sounds like he revelled in making up the fiction; I'm sure the journalist would not have been impressed to know he included her in his infectious fantasy, let alone the wife as he was doing 'research'!

What squicks me is the thought of those out there enjoying topping Dommes in this under-handed fashion: eurgh.

The funniest one for me was a man using a photo of a minor star in an obscure foreign sport as his profile; he had no idea I was a fan of it! Then he claimed he 'uploaded it as an accident': suuuuure.

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 31

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/20/2014 9:24:39 AM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpyUnderCover

Others I think are playing a number of women simultaneously, finally taking up with one of them and "disappearing" on the rest. It's amazing how many guys disappear, then pop back up again six or eight weeks later, acting like nothing's wrong and hoping to take up where we left off.

I've had that happen too.

I also think some of these people get off on the fantasy of having several Dommes interested in them at the same time, and when that starts to get old and expectations for real time meetups crop up, they opt for whoever is willing to play with them on web cam or over the phone.

I used to know a fem sub who liked to be the belle of the ball...and would kill off her old profile and create a new one whenever attention from men started waning.

(in reply to SpyUnderCover)

Post #: 32

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/20/2014 1:00:11 PM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

I used to frequent the Yahoo chatrooms way back when. The name I used for the attention getters, mostly female, was flavor of the month. One in particular could start a vicious war of words between 2 men in under 2 minutes. The Damsel In Distress would pit one against the other to watch who the victor would be. To the winner went the spoils.

I watched her threaten to hurt herself and send 6 guys in a panic if a new woman came along and started diverting attention away from her. She lived in the same city I did and we met. Found out she was married, had no intention of leaving her husband and child. She just needed the attention that badly and would do anything to get it. She made an attempt at suicide one night, wasn't serious, also serious mental health problems. She's one who should not have had access to a PC.

I knew the men she was targeting IRL, she messed with a lot of heads and hearts. She hurt a whole lot of people deliberately. I felt sorry for the men affected, but also angry that they couldn't see what was being done to them. I used to sit back, watch the convos scroll by and observe some pretty frikky/frakky stuff.

_____________________________

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(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)

Post #: 33

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/20/2014 3:52:42 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

I remember watching the film 'Catfish' and wondering how many women and men on sites like this are doing what she did.

I was chatting to a guy recently who lives in London and works for a London law firm. I didn't ask for pictures because I'm not looking for a sub but he sent them anyway. He looked like a decent enough guy, though I wondered why he had sent me a picture of himself with his ex Domme!. He said he wanted to see if I knew her as she was very well known on the London scene. I did a google image search (I always do!) on both pictures and what came up was an author who lives in Iowa. I read the long interview about his life, his wife, his children and the woman who interviewed him was the Domme he claimed as his ex!.

This guy had seriously done his home work. He knew where the large law chambers were in London and a great deal about law. He spoke about the London clubs, in fact that's what we had in common and why I was chatting away to him in the first place. I believe he thought I was a safe option because he knew I wasn't looking but at least he could be friends with a Domme and perhaps impress her!

When I wrote to him with the links 'ZAP' he was gone, never to be seen again... hopefully! The thing is, was he really the man in the picture? or was he in fact from London and sent me a false picture because he knew we would never really meet? Whoever he was, he was a cunning game player who found out snippets about a person and then homed in.

These sort of people are very predatory. They are often very clever (cunning), hugely selfish and no doubt very unhappy in their day to day life and sadly there's a lot of em.

Predatory is right, almost like being cyber-stalked. I doubt he sent you an actual photo of himself, but he could well have been a freelance journalist-type picking your brains. Disturbing, to say the least.

It's a shame really that there are guys out there who do this on God-only-knows how many singles sites. You can almost anticipate this kind of tawdry behavior from cyber-philanderers who must lead such vacuously miserable lives.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowborn61

It just makes it that much harder for those of us who are truly looking to find a Dominant to serve.
i imagine the same thing happens to Doms as well.

+

quote:

ORIGINAL: FriendlyMuppet

That seems like such a waste of time to me. There are enough of us out there actually trying to find someone to connect with that I can't even fathom someone dong this just for kicks. Yeah, I understand they do, but it still baffles me that they actually succeed in creating as much cognitive dissonance as they do.

Now do you male subs have better insight into why many of us Dommes steadfastly hold to various protocols and appear to make you jump through hoops before we have even become your Domme/Mistress? It's too bad you have to pay for the sins of others.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 34

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/20/2014 4:44:23 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

I just dropped in to say that I am glad I misread the title and this isn't actually about

"more cat-fisting against the Dommes"

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I give good thread.

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Post #: 35

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/20/2014 5:04:30 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Thanks, F.Opal

Yep, the truism about the good ones!

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Post #: 36

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/20/2014 6:52:24 PM

Ilyrium

Posts: 189
Joined: 10/2/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Thanks, Ladies! Important that subs and the site know what's going on.

I suspect it's normal for a free site that ANYONE (sub or Domme or in between) will have the same experience.

A lot, of course, depends on the profile, for example, the PERFECT profile may very well be a figment of someone's imagination.

Hence, I look for imperfect profiles! :)

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 37

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/20/2014 8:23:49 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

That's why we're looking for the Dommes' experiences.

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to Ilyrium)

Post #: 38

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/21/2014 5:18:50 PM

SpyUnderCover

Posts: 208
Joined: 6/21/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit
Chances are you are picking people that are just barely in your league.

Oh is that the mistake I've been making?! I didn't realize I was supposed to be choosing men solidly "in my league."

quote:

As such, they consider you, but you never quite become their first choice. You can't expect men to stop looking at other women before they have even met you in real life.

I don't expect men to stop looking at other women -- before or after we've met in real life. But, what I've experienced are men who swear up and down that I'm "the one," men who write things like, "I'm aching and longing to serve you" (often after we've met in person), but who then disappear, apparently off to play their next game.

Spy

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

Post #: 39

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/27/2014 9:48:24 PM

MistressEsmeUK

Posts: 42
Joined: 8/18/2010
Status: offline

This is why I don't do ping pong. I have zero interest in lengthy exchanges online. I ask what I consider a few practical questions then I arrange a meet. This method I have found cuts the time wasters out quickly.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 40

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