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RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/27/2014 5:29:31 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		I also hate anyone intent on breaking my hard limits. Like where its all they talk about and go on and on about how stupid it is I even have hard limits, why I'm not really into BDSM because I'm not down for "anything".

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/27/2014 5:32:57 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I think someone else mentioned this, but guys who are switches who badger me to switch, even though I never would.


(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/27/2014 5:47:43 PM   
cyprian


Posts: 18
Joined: 2/20/2006
Status: offline 		being labled a vanilla sub because you have limits

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/27/2014 6:13:12 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline 		Doms who demand a FaceTime call when you are having a bad hair day...

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to cyprian)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/27/2014 6:41:36 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		Miss fluff, if they're willing to see you on what you consider a bad hair day, go for it. You're still you, beautiful inside & out. They either accept the whole you or they're not worth it. Unless of course it's the first face time meeting, then they can take a long walk off a short pier.

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/27/2014 6:50:36 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline 		Nope. 2nd FaceTime call. ;). Got a chance to put on the purty purty for the first one.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/27/2014 7:00:43 PM   
ServiceHeart


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/12/2011
Status: offline 		Dominants who need to tell all and sundry that they're "alpha dominants"...............if they need to squawk about it, they aren't.

Dominants who want to control stuff they don't have the skills to control - I'm an athlete - I've had more than one tell me they want to control what I eat, but have no idea what type of food or how much I should be eating based on how much I exercise (I'm a distance runner).

Dominants who talk down to me - usually by calling me "sweetie", "girl", "subbie" or some other sort of "endearment" which actually serves to attempt to create a non-consensual hierarchy.

Dominants who think that, because I'm submissive, I need someone else to run my life - when my life is way better put together than theirs is.

Dominants who think that the fact that they enjoy being dominant means that somehow they are imbued with superior character traits that entitle them to automatic respect and deference. In fact any entitled behavior is annoying as hell.

Dominants who think that it's ok to paw me without my consent. I've had Dominants of both genders do this - they do get a little put off when I response with carefully selected pressure point application in response.

Dominants who insist on lecturing me on any topic - but notably on what constitutes "true" anything in terms of BDSM. This seems to be particularly popular with Dominants who have been around in the 5-10 year range and think they know it all.

Dominants who exhibit butthurt when their advances are politely declined.

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/27/2014 7:04:57 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ServiceHeart


Dominants who exhibit butthurt when their advances are politely declined.


Both "butthurt" and declination, politely or not, are hard limits for me.

Jus sayin

Exiled

P.S. the entire post was awesome.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to ServiceHeart)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/27/2014 7:31:18 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: ServiceHeart


Dominants who exhibit butthurt when their advances are politely declined.


Both "butthurt" and declination, politely or not, are hard limits for me.

Jus sayin

Exiled

P.S. the entire post was awesome.

That's cuz iss a seeekriiit that you're one of the good ones. SSSHHHH no one will tell, honest.


_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/28/2014 1:33:05 AM   
chatnoire


Posts: 17
Joined: 11/24/2013
Status: offline 		Ooh, I like this thread

The things that are at the top of my list right now are the ones who call me 'little one', and decide I'm the one he wants after a few chat sessions. We haven't even met yet, slow down tiger. Next would be the ones who have no conversation other than fantasies about what he's going to do to me. Nah, son, the more you talk the less likely that becomes

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RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/28/2014 11:48:18 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ServiceHeart




Nice first post!


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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/28/2014 2:59:25 PM   
experiment2


Posts: 208
Joined: 11/7/2007
Status: offline 		one of the main triaits i find difficult is that of being ignored without any apparent reason. i can understand it occassionally and almost expect it since a submissive/slave is not entitiled to any reason or explanation from his Mistress, but it still creates avoid in the relationship. i realize a submissives function or purpose is to serve and please his Mistress, but it makes it difficult at times.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/28/2014 3:25:23 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		... forget it

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to experiment2)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/28/2014 3:29:00 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear

... forget it

Hehehehehe

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/28/2014 3:57:38 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: experiment2

one of the main triaits i find difficult is that of being ignored without any apparent reason. i can understand it occassionally and almost expect it since a submissive/slave is not entitiled to any reason or explanation from his Mistress, but it still creates avoid in the relationship. i realize a submissives function or purpose is to serve and please his Mistress, but it makes it difficult at times.


I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who ignored me for no apparent reason. Why not be in a mutually satisfying relationship? Try reading some posts by MistressDarkArt on her relationships with her subs.

(in reply to experiment2)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/28/2014 5:42:31 PM   
fucktoyprincess


Posts: 2337
Status: offline 		FR

I struggled with this one. Here is the thing. Anyone I was with who I viewed as a dominant never had any annoying traits associated with their Dominant role (they might have had other personality quirks or other things that bugged me, but those things were not due to their being a Dominant, they were just aspects of their personal nature).

The ones that bug me as the ones who ascribe the term "Dominant" to themselves, but then fall short of my definition of what that means. And guess what. I've never been involved with those because after a conversation, it is generally clear that it is not going to work. Period. Most of these Dominants are either new to BDSM, or still learning - i.e., they lack a certain experience, or savvy. (Not to say that I haven't had successful relationships with relative newcomers - it all depends on how seriously they take the learning on their end). Some of these Dominants just lacked traits that I specifically search for and need. Perhaps they were ideal Dominants for other submissives - just not for me.

I guess I don't find someone's self-definition of themselves all that defining for me personally. Someone labeling themselves Dominant only gives me a starting point for a conversation. Not all Dominants are the same. Certainly the ones who I've had sustained relationships with are similar on certain dimensions, but the things that bugged me about each of them are not related to each other or to even their Dominance for me to draw categorical statements from those experiences.

This strikes me as the word "attractive". Everyone on the planet can describe themselves as attractive. But at the end of the day, there are the people who I find attractive, and the people who I don't. And it is actually impossible for me to come up with a succinct list of why someone would fall into one category or another because it is a complex equation. People are always more than the sum of their parts. As I said at the outset….struggling with this one….

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~ ftp

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RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/29/2014 9:43:31 AM   
SubSlutSlave11


Posts: 56
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chatnoire

Ooh, I like this thread

The things that are at the top of my list right now are the ones who call me 'little one', and decide I'm the one he wants after a few chat sessions. We haven't even met yet, slow down tiger. Next would be the ones who have no conversation other than fantasies about what he's going to do to me. Nah, son, the more you talk the less likely that becomes


Chatnoire, that's somewhat of what I was going to say, lol! Or the ones that just preach at you, with random Bible quotes, stating how you need to be more like this, etc. And I am sure it's been mentioned, but don't expect me to call you "Sir", "Master" when I don't even know if you deserve.

(in reply to chatnoire)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/29/2014 1:02:11 PM   
nyx84


Posts: 29
Joined: 1/8/2014
Status: offline 		My other half (Master but he doesn't like title's) says we should call them sir with the same volcal inflection as the victorian's used to use when insulting and see if they are smart enough to spot the sarcasm

(in reply to SubSlutSlave11)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/29/2014 1:26:00 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		That would be sir spelled with a "c".

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: What traits do you think are annoying in dominants? - 1/29/2014 1:26:59 PM   
like2dom82


Posts: 11
Joined: 1/11/2014
Status: offline 		Thinking that their view is more valid because of our relationship dynamic. That really drives me crazy because I'm really educated and have opinions that are valid. The dom/sub doesn't have to just be me never saying anything. I am person with opinions and a lot to offer. I won't be dismissed because I prefer to be submissive in certain aspects of my life. No one is superior because of a relationship dynamic. I also don't like being talked to like an idiot. I read a lot posts here where it seems to me that the doms are just looking to be told that they are better and superior. I read in another forum about what dom's think are annoying sub characteristics a lot of responses from doms...most were super insightful but some were just ridiculous. I can't say what anyone else is into but I think if you want someone to constantly treat you like an idiot in all aspects of your life, that you probably have things you need to work on and that goes for the dom too....if you have to validated as superior constantly so much so that no one can ever challenge you, I would argue you are missing a lot more in your life then the right sub....you probably need to get some therapy for that crap!

(in reply to nyx84)
Profile   Post #: 60
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