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tallmaster24 -> new master seaking lessons (1/25/2014 8:24:18 PM)

i feel my knowledge lacking and now that i have a sub i wish to get to know more. if any experienced masters would teach a young novice it would be greatly appreciated



ExiledTyrant -> RE: new master seaking lessons (1/25/2014 8:51:47 PM)

Welcome. While I do appreciate you seeking knowledge, most dive in and make huge mistakes, you need to be a bit more specific.

A D/M can school you in their interests. However, there is a much better resource here on this site. If you intend to be a Master worth your salt, you should be down in ask a submissive, asking our boys and girls to school you, so you can understand what it is you're doing to your /s precisely, from that side of the kneel.

Come back here to hone, refine, and define the skills you want with the fanatical knowledge that a D/M can offer.

YMMV
Exiled



UniqueIntensity -> RE: new master seaking lessons (1/25/2014 9:05:32 PM)

I recommend starting off with a good book to round out your general knowledge, and no I am not talking any shade of grey... It will help you get a better idea of what you lack and what you like, as well as an introduction to the terminology. Just remember to take it all in and then condense it down into the best essence of what fits for you. There is no single right recipe for a relationship; every one is different.

There are various booklists out there if you hunt. Here is one I found posted by someone I have seen good advice from in the past.

Books:
•BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr Charley Ferrer
•Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison
•Devil in the Details II: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Mastery Refine: The Issues, The Skills by LT Morrison
•Devil in the Details III: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Sustainable Structure and Traning by LT Morrison
•Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs
•Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams
•Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel
•Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 by Robert Rubel
•Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402, Living in Harmony by Robert Rubel
•Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel
•Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillp Miller and Molly Devon
•The Control Book by Peter Masters
•The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren
•The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino
•This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters
•Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker



tallmaster24 -> RE: new master seaking lessons (1/25/2014 10:29:54 PM)

thank you very much I will get started right now



DesFIP -> RE: new master seaking lessons (1/26/2014 10:44:38 AM)

I strongly urge you to join your local community and take workshops. I wouldn't suggest books on m/s for young, new people. But The Topping Book and The Bottoming Book. Also Erotic Bondage and S & M 101, both by Jay Wiseman who is the best on explaining safety to beginners.

And listen to your sub. Because if she's always unhappy and unfulfilled the relationship won't last. You need communication skills and relationship skills first and foremost. It isn't about ordering people around and beating them with a stick for every tiny mistake. It's about inspiring her to want to please you and that starts with you. Because if you're a selfish ass, you won't be able to do that.

Not that I think you are, just speaking generally.



OsideGirl -> RE: new master seaking lessons (1/26/2014 11:15:05 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tallmaster24

i feel my knowledge lacking and now that i have a sub i wish to get to know more. if any experienced masters would teach a young novice it would be greatly appreciated


Everyone had great advise on the booklist, finding a mentor and attending events.

Now, I'm going to suggest that you lose the screen name.



littlewonder -> RE: new master seaking lessons (1/26/2014 1:29:09 PM)

The only advice you need is to communicate with her just like you would in any relationship and do whatever it is feels right to the both of you. There is no code or rules except the ones you both have for each other.



SimplyMichael -> RE: new master seaking lessons (1/26/2014 4:26:11 PM)

Most books written about kink are pendantic nonsense.

SM101 is very clinical and dry but isnt full of shit

Screw the Roses is a bit more fluffy but is also grounded and no nonsense.



Blonderfluff -> RE: new master seaking lessons (1/26/2014 6:40:11 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: tallmaster24

i feel my knowledge lacking and now that i have a sub i wish to get to know more. if any experienced masters would teach a young novice it would be greatly appreciated


Everyone had great advise on the booklist, finding a mentor and attending events.

Now, I'm going to suggest that you lose the screen name.


I would second this. Calling yourself a Master is your choice, of course But I think that the term would mean more if it was given to you by someone who felt you had earned it.



frunandsins -> RE: new master seaking lessons (3/20/2014 11:01:22 PM)

Is your sub also new to BDSM? I'm guessing so, for a few reasons. In that case, you should consider including her in your educational journey. If you're still learning to be a Dom, and yes it takes time to learn and be better at it, then she needs a mentor for her to become a good sub. Don't make the mistake of thinking that sharing your growth together as a couple in BDSM detracts from your dominance in the relationship.

On the other hand, if your sub has experience, then your first resource is her. Talk to her about what makes her want to submit. Ask her about traits of her former masters that appeal to her. etc.




amaidiamond -> RE: new master seaking lessons (3/27/2014 8:55:39 AM)

I also suggest loosing the screen name.

When I look for potential partners, I tend to automatically ignore anyone with "Master" or "Sir" in the screen name simply because soooooo many internet wankers use it.
You don't need to advertise yourself with a self given title. :)




ExiledTyrant -> RE: new master seaking lessons (3/27/2014 8:58:04 AM)

SirMasterWanker is a good one though.



amaidiamond -> RE: new master seaking lessons (3/27/2014 8:58:40 AM)

MasterOfMothersBasement



ExiledTyrant -> RE: new master seaking lessons (3/27/2014 9:01:26 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

MasterOfMothersBasement


HA! We're taking that shit to polls and stoopid!



LordHeimdall -> RE: new master seaking lessons (4/28/2014 4:55:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

MasterOfMothersBasement


Another new Dom here... Reading back through the postings to see if my questions have been addressed, and yes, this is one of them. Thanks for the Answers.

But here is another question that came to mind due to how this thread progressed.

What do you think of LordHeimdall as a Forum Name? I chose Lord because I didn't feel right about using Master or Sir, but I wanted it to reflect the fact that I am a Dom to at least one person.



Musicmystery -> RE: new master seaking lessons (4/28/2014 5:10:53 AM)

I don't know you, so this isn't a judgment of you. But generally, having to announce you're Master/Lord/Sir is not a good sign. Dominance will show naturally, and attract the appropriate people. Arrogance will (generally) repel them. When dominance and arrogance are mixed, it depends on the girl and the kind of girl you think you want.

Since CM doesn't allow name changes, though, you're stuck with it, short of scrapping your profile and starting over.




Chwilfrydig -> RE: new master seaking lessons (4/28/2014 7:45:30 AM)

For me, your profile picture and name look intriguing. I didn't get an arrogant vibe from either of them. My mind went to "strong, rugged Viking guy".

And to clarify, I see Vikings as sailors and explorers. I ignore the rape-n-pillaging part. It's my fantasy, so I get to do that. [:D]



Jewelcrafter -> RE: new master seaking lessons (4/28/2014 9:58:48 AM)

I don't see your name as something bad or negative. Combined with your picture it gives off a bit of an imaginative gamer. At least to me. Granted, that may be because I'm a table top gamer. I see some kind of warrior or warrior king. I think the combination works good and even if you lose the profile pic, I personally don't think your name is bad. The Heimdall part still has a bit of a fantastical sense to it. A bit Norse as Chwilfrydig said. Is the name of your design or does it have origins in a culture?



StrongSpirit -> RE: new master seaking lessons (4/28/2014 3:40:51 PM)

I would also add the following three pieces of general advice:

Your kink is yours. Don't pay attention to anyone arrogant enough to tell you that 'you are doing it wrong' if they mean the type of thing you enjoy, rather than how to do it better. Specifically, people that use the term 'fake' or 'real' generally are not a good source of information. They are telling you how to please them, not how to please yourself or your partner.

Also, things that work in fantasy don't always work in reality - and vice versa. Use your fantasies for inspiration, but don't expect them to turn out the way they do in your mind.

Finally, I find that people tend to focus on one of three areas - sensation (pain), control (domination, roleplay), and humilation. It sometimes helps people to think about which they are looking for and work for there.




LordHeimdall -> RE: new master seaking lessons (4/29/2014 4:32:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chwilfrydig

For me, your profile picture and name look intriguing. I didn't get an arrogant vibe from either of them. My mind went to "strong, rugged Viking guy".

And to clarify, I see Vikings as sailors and explorers. I ignore the rape-n-pillaging part. It's my fantasy, so I get to do that. [:D]


Bingo!


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jewelcrafter

I don't see your name as something bad or negative. Combined with your picture it gives off a bit of an imaginative gamer. At least to me. Granted, that may be because I'm a table top gamer. I see some kind of warrior or warrior king. I think the combination works good and even if you lose the profile pic, I personally don't think your name is bad. The Heimdall part still has a bit of a fantastical sense to it. A bit Norse as Chwilfrydig said. Is the name of your design or does it have origins in a culture?


I played Dungeons and Dragons in my youth, and currently play EverQuest. So Bingo on Gamer.
I've done some SCA Re-enacting as well.
Heimdall is Definitely Norse. A Norse God to be precise. I invite everyone to read my Introduction in the Introduction Section. Here is an Excerpt:

My chosen name for this Forum is LordHeimdall. Lord to signify that I am the Dom and shall never be the Sub in any relationship. Heimdall is taken after Heimdall of Norse Mythology who is attributed with the Creation the Slaves, aka Thralls, as well as the Peasant Class, the Karls, and the Warrior Class or the Leading Dominants, the Jarls. He could therefore be said to have created the Doms/Dommes and Subs...


quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

Finally, I find that people tend to focus on one of three areas - sensation (pain), control (domination, roleplay), and humilation. It sometimes helps people to think about which they are looking for and work for there.



Thank you for the advice. I will keep it in mind and to be honest, had already had some of it in mind.

As for my focus, it is Control.



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