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Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 12:14:36 AM   
pg4g


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Something I've never understood personally is the focus on scenes and role play. For me, I expected power-play sex and living out the pain I always loved seeing people endure, it was all about doing this for real - finding someone who'd actually make me hurt and let me hurt them like I wanted to - in reality.

So I suppose I'd like to know what do people enjoy about role play? I see the idea of "acting" contradictory to the idea that you want to live these things out for real. Is that an issue for other people? Or do you get something out of the fact that there is an act, a scene, and a story that you are "playing out"? Or is this part of ensuring the line between kink and assault remains clearly defined?

< Message edited by pg4g -- 1/26/2014 12:15:22 AM >
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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 1:06:17 AM   
myotherself


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We've tried role play and it fell totally flat. It felt fake and we both felt very silly and self-conscious. We keep away from it - it's just not our 'thing'.



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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 5:25:52 AM   
Kana


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quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

We've tried role play and it fell totally flat. It felt fake and we both felt very silly and self-conscious. We keep away from it - it's just not our 'thing'.



Yep-This is us.
We're both very comfortable with who we are, thus we have no desire to pretend to be someone we are not.

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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 7:28:09 AM   
ResidentSadist


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"Thanks for playing" can be heard in my house now and then. But it is usually just some light verbal play for our amusement, lasting only a few minutes. Like the 'war prisoner & the solider' or 'plantation slave & Master', stuff like that. However, I do have fetish, developed from a reality, that is no longer readily available to me and it requires her to lay "vewy, vewy still."

Back in the 70s & 80s because I had OB-GYN clinics, I had free access to Trilene gas. It is a popular GYN anesthetic and comes in a self administered kit. The can of gas (air fresher size) has a mask on top with a dead man's trigger. When she passed out, the trigger released. Then I had the ultimate bondage, she was completely pliable and totally at my disposal. I liked it a lot and it was part of the regular menu in my relationship for years.

I am completely comfortable with who I am and my passions are usually emotionally based, same for my partner. But now and then I just want to get physical when my lust is inspired by the beauty of her face and 'purddy' mouth, her large breasts, the voluptuous curve of her nice round ass or her sweet silky smooth smooth pussy. If she is unconscious, it leaves her body for me to have my way with. So on rare occasion, I tell her to "lay vewy, vewy still" and have her pretend to be unconscious.

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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 9:09:06 AM   
graceadieu


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Well, not every fantasy a person has is realistic or doable. I think role-play can be a way for people to act out ideas they find arousing but can't do for real.

For example, a common fantasy people have is a "naughty schoolgirl" - but for an adult to have sex with an actual schoolgirl would be morally reprehensible. Another common one is a rape fantasy - but nobody wants to be actually raped, that would be terrible. And then there are impossible fantasies, like having sex with a vampire or an historical figure.

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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 9:10:46 AM   
inmate822210


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Do you mean to tell me that wasn't Abraham Lincoln?

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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 10:05:30 AM   
TieMeInKnottss


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Role playing is, to put it in psychological terms, a way to work out your fantasies, desires, fears...in a controlled atmosphere. Many of us have fantasies that are highly taboo or illegal. Many of us have fantasies that sound great but we are smart enough to know that the reality is scary and traumatizing...that the fear we would feel in the real situation...displaces any physical enjoyment.

By playing, neither party has to be concerned with the psychological ramifications on their partner, neither has to worry about morning after regrets...or legal recourse.

I like role playing. The stuff I enjoy is hard to find a partner for though...

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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 10:10:45 AM   
DesFIP


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Consider the term psychodrama. For me age 16 was a rough year. So we've done teacher/student role play where I play that year. And wherein I can work out some issues from my past in a way that comes out positive this time.

Beyond that, I went to an all girls prep school so I never had a chance to be a cheerleader. Me wearing a cheesy cheerleader outfit and him wearing a football jersey allows us to experience something neither of us had. I can be one of the popular girls and him a football star. Which is quite a difference from what we really were and still are: him a nerd and me a bookworm.

Beyond all that, have you ever dressed up for a Halloween party or Mardi Gras masquerade? Well this can be the same thing. You get to have fun wearing a silly costume.

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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 10:46:11 AM   
sexyred1


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I love role playing and I am totally comfortable with who I am.

I don't actually act out a role or scene. It is more psychological.

If I have shared a wild fantasy with my partner, we don't run to enact it. It is more like he saves it for another time and just starts pulling parts of it out at the right moment. To me, that was ultimately hot because he remembered that I shared a really intense, dark fantasy and then he made it real for me.

Tragically, my ex is the only one who was REALLY able to bring these fantasies to life and that was pretty much why I stayed with him for so long despite the rest of the relationship being bad.

It is not easy to find someone who loves your deep dark stuff as much as you do.

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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 10:55:49 AM   
asanaambitions


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Well in my mind just because something is "roleplay" doesn't mean it's not happening in real life. Sure I may not actually a schoolgirl, or a nun, or a cheerleader, or a professor, but once the roleplay starts what's happening is quite real. The pleasure is real, the pain is real, the sex is real, the bondage is real. It's not like in the movies where someone is acting out a fight scene and pulling their punches for the camera. To be honest I've never really done much roleplay, but I don't see it as being any less "real" of a scene than people doing the same thing without wearing different outfits. YMMV

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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 11:29:39 AM   
inmate822210


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I think this whole discussion is truthfully about a difference in cognitive abilities. A little more abstract thinking for some or maybe something else; however, I don't think anyone is better or worse off for their innate perceptions.

Some people are only comfortable with reality and tend to think very black and white. It's a logical approach to things. Other people see more grey and tend to use different portions of their prefrontal cortex. It's hard to say that either way of perceiving can be right or wrong.

Essentially, I think roleplay just comes down to finding someone with the same degree of delusion about the scenario as you have. And I say "delusion" in non-condescending way. We all delude from time to time, either thinking about winning the lottery or what not.

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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 12:42:02 PM   
HipPoindexter


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After role playing, I always demand my girlfriend assign me experience points so that I can keep track of when I level up.

Right now I am:

A 7th level Captured Spy
A 5th level Sacrificial Victim of Crazed Priestess
A 9th level 1980s Yuppie Villain Being Punished by Punk Rock Girl
Another 100 xp on the last one and I level up and get new hit points and some new skill sets. Fingers crossed, y'all!

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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 12:46:12 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


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For me, role-play is a creative outlet. It's a way to tap into a part of myself that I don't normally have the opportunity to explore in everyday life. I am not, for example, the Evil Queen luring the hapless sub into my clutches and then imprisoning him or her in my dungeon where s/he is forcibly transformed into a rubber doll. Nor am I the Mad Scientist experimenting a la Dr. Frankenstein and bringing my cyborg Drone to life.

Does that mean the bondage, pain, and psychological edge play isn't real? Not for a minute. It's very real, but the role-play scenario makes it easier to suspend disbelief, which heightens the mental aspects of WIITWD, and also makes it easier to ground and return to real-life during aftercare. It's also a great excuse to indulge in some of my other hobbies, such as cosplay and costume design. #winning


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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 12:47:56 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


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quote:

ORIGINAL: HipPoindexter

After role playing, I always demand my girlfriend assign me experience points so that I can keep track of when I level up.



Dude, you win the internet.


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Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 12:59:52 PM   
orgasmdenial12


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I like pain, but I can't do pain all the time (work, family, etc.) A scene is when I get to indulge his and my desire for pain play. It's not fake, it's not acted, it's who we are all the time, but who we can only be when normal life circumstances allow.

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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 1:13:11 PM   
littlewonder


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Beyond all that, have you ever dressed up for a Halloween party or Mardi Gras masquerade? Well this can be the same thing. You get to have fun wearing a silly costume.


Heh...Master and I usually have a difficult time even doing these things. Our costumes usually mirror who we are....Master/slave...cat/mouse lol.

The same for fantasies. Our fantasies never go beyond stuff we can't do in real life. If we can't do it in real life it just doesn't really turn us on. Things like vampires and such just make us roll our eyes. School girl fantasy sex? Well I am a school (college) girl.....




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Everything has changed

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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 1:38:05 PM   
HipPoindexter


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Finally! I've been trying to win the internet for years now.
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan


quote:

ORIGINAL: HipPoindexter

After role playing, I always demand my girlfriend assign me experience points so that I can keep track of when I level up.



Dude, you win the internet.




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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 1:48:47 PM   
Kana


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan


quote:

ORIGINAL: HipPoindexter

After role playing, I always demand my girlfriend assign me experience points so that I can keep track of when I level up.



Dude, you win the internet.


Fuck-I have Post Envy.
I can't believe I didn't think of that reply.
Well played Sir. Well Played

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"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 1:51:23 PM   
MasterCaneman


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quote:

ORIGINAL: HipPoindexter

After role playing, I always demand my girlfriend assign me experience points so that I can keep track of when I level up.

Right now I am:

A 7th level Captured Spy
A 5th level Sacrificial Victim of Crazed Priestess
A 9th level 1980s Yuppie Villain Being Punished by Punk Rock Girl
Another 100 xp on the last one and I level up and get new hit points and some new skill sets. Fingers crossed, y'all!

I just had an image of someone rolling a d20 during foreplay.

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



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RE: Role-Playing - 1/26/2014 2:12:17 PM   
MariaB


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When my submissive becomes concious that he's tied and sitting on top of a large piece of polythene and can clearly see me routing through a tool bag of electric drills and angle grinders, it sure as hell better be role-play. Ask him if it feels real? is the fear genuine? You can bet your life it is!. Whilst I may be able to get him to whimper, plead and submit in every day scenarios, I can't get him to violently shake, break out in a cold sweat or reach that emotionally vulnerable place he can go to during a role-play scenarios.

My biggest buzz comes from role-playing a scene because my sadistic self can be let lose to use its imagination




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