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RE: trusting - 7/6/2006 7:57:48 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

quote:

and to talk to one for at least a couple of weeks before meeting even.

I think this is counterproductive -- it is easier to lie from a keyboard than it is face-to-face where you can read nonverbal ques. As long as you are fairly local, I think it makes more sense to meet quickly for coffee or something; at least you'll really start to know the person instead of *thinking* you know somebody who is just pixels on a screen or a voice on the phone.

(in reply to submissiveclassy)

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Post #: 21

RE: trusting - 7/6/2006 8:53:24 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: diaphane

Where in the world did this come from? It's got me completely confused. I thought, maybe, there might be something in the OP's profile that would explain this response, but I see nothing. Not trying to bash you, CrappyDom, because I've admired many of Your posts. I just am confused as to what this one is in reference to. =(

I understand what he said (or if I don't he can set the record straight). He is saying that some people shouldn't trust anyone until they figure out their patterns of behavior that lead them into trouble. I did not see him state that was the case for the opening post, but we are all responding to more than one person here, we are responding to all the people that read the thread too.

I think he is right on a level, if we keep making the same mistake it is usually because of a pattern that needs changing in our life. We should learn to listen to that inner voice that warns us of trouble either way in my view, but until we find that voice then perhaps we shouldn't trust people.

It comes back to being secure within oneself really. If you have a belief in yourself and trust yourself then the actions of others have less impact on you. Your sense of the world is dependent on your own view of it, not external factors. I trust because I can withstand the emotional impact of having that trust betrayed. If you cannot withstand that, then you cannot let yourself trust.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to diaphane)

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Post #: 22

RE: trusting - 7/7/2006 1:33:20 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

It really depends what you expect from someone.

If you're meeting someone face to face for a coffee and a chat you need little more trust than a basic idea that they won't stab you in the neck with a pencil.

I trust certain people with certain things....Even after years of friendship, there are aspects of myself that I know it wouldn't be beneficial or successful to *trust* someone with.

I trust to those that are able to, depending on what I'm trusting them WITH.

agirl

(in reply to submissiveclassy)

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Post #: 23

RE: trusting - 7/7/2006 4:43:25 PM

spoilt26981

Posts: 91
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: London UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissiveclassy
i am finding it very hard to trust.. And it seems to get worse rather than better. i realize its best to meet face to face to start the bridge of trust, and to talk to one for at least a couple of weeks before meeting even. Any other ideas/ thoughts as to building trust face to face and on line??? Thank Y/you A/all in advance.
submissiveclassy

I have the opisit problem to you i find it all to easy to trust, it has caused me to get hurt an awlful lot but i still end up taking what people say at face vaule and believe in them, something my grandad said to me when i was growing up has always stuck in my head " don't let the bad people from your past effect the good people in the futher" ever since then i have always believed what a person tells me to be true untill proven otherwise.

Between when i first started to exchange emails with my Master and when i meet him in real life in had only been a matter of a very short space of time something inside had just clicked and told me it was ok to go for coffee, with in maybe 90 mins i found myself hand in hand handing back to his.

so all i can really say when it comes to trusting, if it feels right the trust them, but dont let the past ruin what maybe

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Post #: 24