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reality check - 2/2/2014 6:14:34 PM

Libertyfor1

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If you haven't met a prospective Dom for close to six months after beginning initial correspondence, what is the realistic chance of the meeting concurring?

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 6:21:53 PM

Killerangel

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Realistically, unless this is a long distance arrangement, you probably won't meet; doesn't seem like meeting is what the Dom is interested in. What are the reasons he/she has given for not meeting?

(in reply to Libertyfor1)

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 6:21:56 PM

LafayetteLady

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has meeting been discussed? If every time meeting comes up, he hems and haws, changes the subject or makes excuses, odds are slim to none you'll meet.

If the subject hasn't bee brought up, then do so.

(in reply to Libertyfor1)

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 6:25:55 PM

kalikshama

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If you two are reasonably local and have not met in 6 months, he has no plans to meet you.

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 6:38:01 PM

Libertyfor1

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We live two hours part. During the one time we arranged to meet, he cancelled due to commitment to his kids. He also has a busy work schedule but I wonder why he ever sought me out since he's apparently too busy to meet even once.

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 6:42:25 PM

asanaambitions

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Yeah, this guy has no intention of meeting you. He's got kids and a busy schedule and all he's got time for is a little stress relief once the kids go to bed. Knowing that most women want a relationship rather than just being the recepticle of a random man's wank fantasies, lots of guys will promise that you'll "be together soon" when in reality they'll just drop you once you start complaining too much and ruining the fantasy.

(in reply to Libertyfor1)

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 6:47:09 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

He also has a busy work schedule but I wonder why he ever sought me out since he's apparently too busy to meet even once.

Some people only want cyber, despite protestations to the contrary.

When I was looking for a man, I learned to only consider local guys and to drop them if they couldn't manage to meet for at least coffee within two weeks - I figured this meant they were too busy to date, not really into me, or did not share my relationship goals.

(in reply to Libertyfor1)

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 6:47:44 PM

Libertyfor1

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He keeps saying we will meet soon enough but doesn't go into to any details. He lives two hours away, has kids and a company to run. Still...not even one intro meeting in half a year seems odd even to a newbie like me. The one time we arranged to meet, he cancelled due to a commitment to his kids.

I still haven't chosen a Dom while I try to figure out the reasonable and smart thing to do with this guy.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 6:48:18 PM

kalikshama

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Also beware of the guys claiming to be "moving to your area soon." I always told them to be back in touch when this happened and not one of them ever did.

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 6:48:54 PM

Libertyfor1

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(in reply to kalikshama)

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 6:57:33 PM

Libertyfor1

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What would you do in my place? I like his style and the things we have in common. It may be naive but I don't think I will find a more compatible person since I'm not that easy to manage.

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 6:58:31 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

He keeps saying we will meet soon enough but doesn't go into to any details. He lives two hours away, has kids and a company to run. Still...not even one intro meeting in half a year seems odd even to a newbie like me. The one time we arranged to meet, he cancelled due to a commitment to his kids.

I still haven't chosen a Dom while I try to figure out the reasonable and smart thing to do with this guy.

What if you meet next month? Is one date every 7 months good enough for you? It wouldn't be for me.

Two summers ago I was seeing a really great guy that I met here.
/waves at J/

He just had way too much going on in his life for us to work out. Now I'm seeing someone who can get together with me four times a week and we talk on the other three days. I'm glad I held out for someone who could make me a priority.

Not to say the guy you've been talking to is a bad guy for making his kids a priority (if this is actually true) but a better choice for him would be another single parent who lives in his town.

(in reply to Libertyfor1)

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 6:58:51 PM

Libertyfor1

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What would you do in my place? I like his style and the things we have in common. It may be naive but I don't think I will find a more compatible person since I'm not that easy to manage.

(in reply to asanaambitions)

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 7:02:02 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertyfor1
What would you do in my place? I like his style and the things we have in common. It may be naive but I don't think I will find a more compatible person since I'm not that easy to manage.

If you put your romantic search on hold for another six months, you guarantee that you won't find someone more compatible.

What I would do in your place is to try my best to gain more emotional maturity, so I was better able to manage myself.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Libertyfor1)

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 7:03:03 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

What would you do in my place? I like his style and the things we have in common. It may be naive but I don't think I will find a more compatible person since I'm not that easy to manage.

I'm sorry you got emotionally invested in someone who is not willing to make you a priority. I suggest you move on to someone who will. Furthermore, don't cyber submit until you have met the guy and established that you have compatibility IRL (in real life.)

(in reply to Libertyfor1)

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 7:12:32 PM

smileforme50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertyfor1

We live two hours part. During the one time we arranged to meet, he cancelled due to commitment to his kids. He also has a busy work schedule but I wonder why he ever sought me out since he's apparently too busy to meet even once.

Personally....and this may or may not be the case for you.....but my experience has always been that if they live relatively close by, but continually say that they are "too busy right now".....the odds are pretty good that he's MARRIED.

Have you offered to go meet him in his hometown....so he doesn't need to take so much time ouf of his busy schedule? What does he say to that?

I also agree with kalikshama.....

quote:

Some people only want cyber, despite protestations to the contrary.

When I was looking for a man, I learned to only consider local guys and to drop them if they couldn't manage to meet for at least coffee within two weeks - I figured this meant they were too busy to date, not really into me, or did not share my relationship goals.

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to Libertyfor1)

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 7:14:16 PM

anniezz338

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertyfor1

What would you do in my place? I like his style and the things we have in common. It may be naive but I don't think I will find a more compatible person since I'm not that easy to manage.

Depends on if its enough for you for right now. I had an online relationship for 3 years. But he said from the get go that we would never meet and I decided I could handle that. I went well until last year when my needs increased and he was not my future.

We also had alot in common and we "got" each other. It was fun while it lasted. Good luck

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I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

(in reply to Libertyfor1)

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 7:15:21 PM

RedMagic1

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Completely off topic:

asanaambitions, your new avatar is super hot.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to smileforme50)

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 7:22:17 PM

Libertyfor1

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Thanks, that makes sense. I suppose it's back to the drawing board for me. Should I mention anything to the guy I was interest in...or should I just not make a big deal of beginning a new search?

(in reply to kalikshama)

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RE: reality check - 2/2/2014 7:41:48 PM

TieMeInKnottss

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I did not realize this was a double post so I will respond here since the other post will probably be pulled:

Six months? Probably not too good. I met my current guy on here. We emailed for a week and he volunteered to jump in the car and drive 300 miles to meet me that weekend. He called a friend to "crash on his couch" overnight... As a few good people on here will tell you...when a man is interested (whether sub or dom) they will move hell/high water to get to meet you.

(in reply to Libertyfor1)

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