TheWillToThrive
Posts: 36
Joined: 3/8/2013
From: Texas
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Who would give that carte blanche power to an abusive person? I think people automatically judge the measure of a Dominant by how they treats those that serve him, whether they are family with that old adage or not. And everyone has the power to leave if things get abusive. If people are so stupid that they put themselves in danger with BDSM, like dumb and dumber, the big concern should be if they are safe in real life. The laws of natural selection and dangers in life probably already weeded them out. And if you do date Darwin Award candidates, you deserve what you get. I don't care how big her tits were or how long his dong was.
Those stupid old "what if" arguments always annoyed me. "What if they told the slave to rob a bank?" Fool, the slave would leave. "What if he asks you to chop off a finger?" I love that discussion in real life. Twice in my history I have had s-types in the crowd crying, convinced that a baby finger is a small price to pay for a perfect relationship. The girl in the crowd was ready to give "proof" she would obey if it would solidify her relationship and make it long lasting. I sell the concept real well, "Look at it through your Master's eyes." "You will be the girl that cut off her finger as proof, how could he ever lose faith in you?"
I get slaves to recall all the heartaches they had searching, have them recount and relive all the pain, failure, the breakups . . . and then sell them on how it will all washed away by one moment in time on a cutting board to give the ultimate proof. Twice I have seen a girl in the crowd ready to do it. So I call my slave to the cutting block and she faithfully extends a finger, I raise the knife against protest from the crowd and whack, the blade comes down . . . she stands there unflinching. Mainly because I didn't chop it off. Then I explain that if you don't know whether your partner would permanently maim you or not, you are not cut out for TPE with them.
So negotiating limits and boundaries in TPE, in the name of safety, is pointless. If you are so dumb you can't keep yourself safe, TPE probably isn't for you. If you have enough control issues or trust issues that you feel compelled to negotiate, TPE isn't for you.
My car is my property, it does not negotiate with me when I tell it to turn right or stop. Neither will my slave. If I do not take good care of my car and keep it in good stead, it will break and I will lose it's service. Same with my slave. If I tell my car to fly, it won't. It is beyond the boundaries whether negotiated or not. When I bought my car, nowhere in the contract does it say it won't fly. If I ask my car to fly, I am the asshole. Same for my slave. However, a truly iconic slave once said, "with a running start Sir, I could give you 2 or 3 seconds of flight." And that is the spirit of TPE.
Negotiating limits and boundaries for your own pleasure is a good D/s framework. "I like cake / you like cake / we shall buy a cake and eat it together for our mutual pleasure." For others, as property, suffering is not an option and the reward is not self pleasure but in the service itself. Obeying and pleasing your partner is more important than discomfort. The attitude is that they can afford to spare some discomfort because the relationship and their role in the relationship is more important. "Master likes cake, I shall toil in the kitchen and bake his favorite cake. When I serve him that home baked cake, he will be happy and we will share much joy together." As an owner, I also do things that are out of my comfort zone because I am the caretaker and it is my duty. I must rise to whatever is required to take proper care of her. I also put the relationship first. Because both of us respect the connection between us and the relationship is a priority, the relationship thrives.
Now take all that emotional TPE stuff about the willingness to suffer, the connection between partners being a priority and add physical aspects by shoving it into the dungeon with a sadistic Master and a masochistic slave. No one's gonna' be happy 'till somebody is crying and/or bleeding.
So much win in one post.
quote:
ORIGINAL: pg4g
quote:
ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel
Why do I like it? I'm not sure.
I don't actually want to delve into that part of my psyche. Sometimes it's better to not know how sausage.
I actually felt the exact opposite. By nature I'm a protector. I look after and protect people. It bothered me greatly that I felt like I did until I worked out what I liked about it - building up someone by showing them how strong they can endure. With that, I realized there was no conflict. It was extremely important to me to work this out before I could accept that part of myself.
I can relate to to the protector mentality and seeing sadomasochism as a way to teach strength. I have had similar thoughts while trying to understand my desires.
For me it is mainly exercise of the bond between my partner and myself. At times it seems to have healing properties for both participants, as if it cleanses the soul. I do feel there is a primal, perhaps dark, part of myself that does gain satisfaction from the act alone. Even so I lack the desire to inflict pain on unwilling participants.
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RE: Enjoying Inflicting Pain - 
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