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RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/11/2014 8:47:22 AM   
Domnotlooking


Posts: 249
Joined: 8/11/2013
Status: offline 		Feel free to nitpick and snark while someone else suffers.

It's 100% free and safe from you comfy internet perch.

You have no empathy and no idea's; only the minor thrill of your snorting and huffy indignation.

Enjoy!.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/11/2014 8:50:51 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domnotlooking

Feel free to nitpick and snark while someone else suffers.

It's 100% free and safe from you comfy internet perch.

You have no empathy and no idea's; only the minor thrill of your snorting and huffy indignation.

Enjoy!.



Oh, I have empathy...for both of them. She doesn't deserve to have a husband who cheats and he doesn't deserve a wife who starves him sexually. They both are breaking their marriage contract. So if the contract is broken in reality, break it legally and get out. It really IS that simple.

She needs a male sub who wants to be permantly locked in chastity (there are plenty of them here) and he needs a submissive woman who will cater to him. Neither will find what they are looking for until they let go of their marriage.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 2/11/2014 8:52:53 AM >

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to Domnotlooking)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/11/2014 9:01:13 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Do you even know how childish you come off? No one NEEDS sex. It is a desire, there is a difference.

It is not always assumed the "man" is the problem. It IS always assumed the CHEATER is the problem. Why? Because they are the ones that are weak. You can man up like her previous husbands and divorce her for lack of consortion. Instead you keep making excuses for your behavior with the idiotic idea you will eventually hit on something people here will accept.

You say she finds "everything" that 'we' stand for evil. Do you even have a clue what most "lifestylers" stand for? You seem to think it is various sexual positions and activities. That's not waht most lifestylers stand for at all. If, as a community, we promote anything, it is honesty, trust and communication. Kinky sex is just a bonus.

You fail at honesty, trustworthiness and communication. Basically, what YOU know about the "lifestyle" is what you have seen in porn. You seem to lack the common sense to know that isn't reality.

You aren't a member of this lifestyle. You're a horny old guy who watches porn and isn't man enough to leave his wife. You seem to be of the delusion there are no problems in your marriage. If there were no problems you wouldn't be here.

By the way, if you came looking for advice on having an open marriage and discussing how to communicate with your wife, you would receive great advice and support. Same thing if you asked about divorcing your wife.

But being kinky doesn't mean lack of values or responsibility. It doesn't mean the women are going to want to fuck you any more than in the vanilla world. You want to know why you can't find what you want? Look in the mirror. Because it consists of a whole lot more than the fact you are married and cheating on your wife.

(in reply to Maradium)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/11/2014 9:01:18 AM   
Domnotlooking


Posts: 249
Joined: 8/11/2013
Status: offline 		We seemed to have stumbled into some kind of agreement.

His deal is deader than Monty Python's parrot. The crazy house of cards of lies is well in the process of tumbling. He needs to get out front of the chaos and steer a bit.

Looking for an itch-scratching -but non-existent- kinky partner is his last gasp attempt to shore up that collapsing card tower.

He's 6th months away at the outside from the new studio apartment and the awkward internet blind date at Applebee's.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/11/2014 9:06:45 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domnotlooking

Feel free to nitpick and snark while someone else suffers.

It's 100% free and safe from you comfy internet perch.

You have no empathy and no idea's; only the minor thrill of your snorting and huffy indignation.

Enjoy!.


Obviously, you are hard of reading.

Everyone advised him to end his marriage or go to counseling.

Even YOU agreed that this is a situation of his own choosing.

He chose a woman he KNEW was not into sex and he KNEW she had 2 marriages the same.

It is impossible to have empathy for anyone who makes a voluntary decision and then stays for 10 years.

What I think is that this dude felt like HE would be the ONE who was able to awaken Sleeping Beauty and it backfired.

She obviously did not lie to him and neither did she seduce him with great sex and then stop.

Therefore, you projected your own sexless marriage experience on the OP and declare everyone else snarky and lacking empathy.

You and he are both wrong. Take responsibility for your choices and take actions that will remedy them.


(in reply to Domnotlooking)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/11/2014 9:09:40 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domnotlooking

We seemed to have stumbled into some kind of agreement.

His deal is deader than Monty Python's parrot. The crazy house of cards of lies is well in the process of tumbling. He needs to get out front of the chaos and steer a bit.

Looking for an itch-scratching -but non-existent- kinky partner is his last gasp attempt to shore up that collapsing card tower.

He's 6th months away at the outside from the new studio apartment and the awkward internet blind date at Applebee's.



And it should be longer than 6 months because until he gets his shit together and owns his part in this debacle of a marriage, he has nothing of value to offer that internet blind date.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to Domnotlooking)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/11/2014 9:10:58 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		I vaguely recollect your previous post.

The idea that you think refusing sex is "abuse" is both imbecilic and ignorant. Not to mention that the idea of one spouse refusing sex to the other remotely equals the trauma suffered by people who have suffere REAL sexual abuse in the form of rape and child molestation is disgusting.

Every two-timing scumbag who has heard of BDSM seems to think that dishonesty is openly accepted withing those groups. Wishful thinking because EVERY cheater wants someone to accept their excuses. Perhaps it helps assuage their guilt.

(in reply to Domnotlooking)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/11/2014 9:20:46 AM   
Domnotlooking


Posts: 249
Joined: 8/11/2013
Status: offline 		Yeah, personal responsibility -I'm a fan.

But there's also a part of life where you just get mindfucked (stockholm syndromed, codependent-ized, whatever). It happens. To me and to him.

An understanding of that -and maybe some empathy for it too- helped me and it would probably help him too. Hey, maybe yelling at him and calling him names will help too. Who knows?

But he's at an Applebee's near you by Labor Day. Someone that starved and shamed will be avoiding all the school marmish finger wagging advice here and just trying out his A game over a blooming onion.

That's just reality, ladies.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/11/2014 9:22:46 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		~ general comment about the current topic ~

If it's possible to "cheat" in a sexless relationship, then someone, somewhere, is a major narcissist.

I was in a relationship that wound down, with the two of us friendzoning each other over time. One day she walked in on me watching porn, and got pissed, yelling at me how much of a pervert I was. But a couple days later, she came up to me and said, "I feel really bad that I yelled at you about the porn. I know I'm not giving you sex. That wasn't fair of me."

This may sound strange, but I'm really proud of that breakup. I chose well. She's someone who respected me and cared about me until the very end, and I think she'd say nice things about me if anyone asked her.

Also, we were both quite clear about the fact that we were no longer able to give each other a complete relationship. If we hadn't split up, we would have explored an open relationship. What kind of person demands that a partner be faithful while refusing to slake the partner's desires in any way?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/11/2014 9:29:09 AM   
Domnotlooking


Posts: 249
Joined: 8/11/2013
Status: offline 		You were lucky, Red, to have such an upfront and good faith partner. And from how you present yourself here, you were deserving of that luck and the kind of person who can make such reasonable good luck for yourself. Many people are both and unable and unlucky, not to mention unwilling (of course!!).

Narcissism makes the lies of a sexless marriage possible. It's the secret sauce.

At the root of all willful sexual refusal is the urge to punish.

If that aint abuse, I don't know what is.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/11/2014 9:38:35 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Are you a therapist or just intractable?

At the heart of sexual refusal is a desire to punish??

That is such bullshit.

Ever hear of just being sexually incompatible? It happens I hear. It also happens that you may not be providing a reason for a woman to want to have sex with you. Maybe you act like a selfish dick all day, who knows.

If you think that is abuse (and in the OPs case he chose his situation as you did), then you asked for it.

But keep replying only to posters who agree with you and continue to fail to see the truth.

(in reply to Domnotlooking)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/11/2014 9:41:30 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Maradium

My Observation:
There are extremely few (damn near zero) submissive married females into JUST kink for the purpose of PLAY and not for the goal of a relationship!

Obviously there is nothing wrong with either ilk, but, the fact is that I am more into the play aspect of BDSM than the relationship aspect - so it is with a wistful sigh that I publicly recognize, here and now, that it appears MOST (if not all) submissive women I've either written to or whose profiles I've read, are strategically seeking a RELATIONSHIP, first and foremost, and not a tactical hookup.

I can surmise why that is, as it seems to mirror society (not surprisingly), but I make that observation, here and now, and wonder why it is so different than what I seek?


My observation is, that it sounds like you're looking for a BDSM booty call, and well, not surprisingly not a lot of women are into that.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Maradium)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/11/2014 9:55:39 AM   
VideoAdminChi


Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		FR,

I am disappointed that despite four warnings by three different moderators the personal attacks have continued. This thread has been locked for cleanup.

Meanwhile, on other threads, you may challenge the post but do not attack the poster.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 93
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