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The Real People - 2/5/2014 7:29:06 AM   
Endlesslove22


Posts: 13
Joined: 2/3/2014
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline 		How do you find someone on here who isn't just looking for games?

How do you find someone real?

I've been looking and all I run into are dead ends. I want someone real, alive, not just interested in sex but more than that; someone interested in life. I want to grow, and learn, and share, and I want to feel something that can be built upon. It doesn't even matter if online is an only option. What matters is that the person is genuine.

I'm so lost. So sad.



_____________________________

Love endlessly.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 7:34:35 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Seriously? You just joined. Have patience.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Endlesslove22)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 7:35:04 AM   
MisterP61


Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		Don't rely on online only. Go out into your local community (Toronto has one) and meet people IRL, get to know them, let them get to know you. Also if you are online, read what people say on these forums. Lots of good stuff here, but you will also run into the bad. If you can use what is said, use it... if not move on to the next post. Welcome to the site.

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

(in reply to Endlesslove22)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 7:35:30 AM   
Miyani


Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline 		You've been on CM for two days. Some people are here, or looking in general, for years. Be patient.

Get involved in your local scene. Preferably, I think, groups that your parents aren't involved in.

Find a woman out in the world who you like. Someone assertive and sure of herself, who you see yourself wanting to follow. All of my D/s relationships have started from meetings in vanilla settings.

(in reply to Endlesslove22)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 7:46:53 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		You're just 26 with admittedly no experience, and you've only been on this site for 2 days. What were you expecting, instant results? Being bisexual doesn't necessarily raise your chances of finding a partner because you will need to find a Dominant who is tolerant of this (as it could possibly signify you won't limit yourself to exclusivity, esp. at such a young sexually explorative age) or else a bi Dom/me or Dominant couple looking for a third.

Have patience. Others have been on this site for years before finding a compatible partner. Paul, you say your parents are BDSM-involved nudists, so is there a nudist colony there in Toronto with young people you can hang out with?

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Endlesslove22)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 7:55:07 AM   
Miyani


Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline 		Paul, one of the ways that I identify game players is that they will completely ignore what I say I want, in favor of trying to get me to do what they want. By that standard, given the message you just sent me, I would call you a game player, or at the very least disrespectful and disobedient (Do those sound like qualities women look for in a submissive?).

If you want real people, be real. Don't message women who plainly state that they are not available, asking them for a relationship. That was a dead end of your own making.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 7:57:50 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Endlesslove22,

By your screen name you sound interested in the romantic aspect of relationships.

Even at 26, you should already know that things take time to develop. Maturity understands patience.

If you are already lost and so sad after 3 days of looking online, I worry that your expectations are not in line with reality.

Please calm down, life brings unexpected joys and sorrows and coping skills are valuable.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 7:58:48 AM   
candisa


Posts: 127
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline 		The reality is there are people who enjoy playing head games, they lie to your face, say what ever it takes to get you in a vulnerable spot.
You need to be strong, and realize fake people will always be around online and in real life.
The best thing you can do for yourself, is to keep it real and stand by your integrity, find your patience.
Live the life you want, how you want and find that one special person that makes it obvious,
they care about having something real and that it can last through the good and bad times.
Only because they are willing to put in the work needed. If not .. move on.

_____________________________

respectfully,
candisa

Freely we serve, because we freely love, as in our will
To love or not; in this we stand or fall.



(in reply to Endlesslove22)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 8:00:46 AM   
Endlesslove22


Posts: 13
Joined: 2/3/2014
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline 		I wasn't asking for a relationship. I said that I was looking for friendship and that if things went well, I'd be open to moving onto something else if that was possible. There was nothing in my post that was disrespectful; certainly not disobedient. I feel like you should take some lessons in comprehension.

Here's what I said:

I'm hoping from you that we could grow a friendship. And if that works, I'd love to try moving on beyond that into mentorship, guiding ... maybe even a BDSM relationship.

_____________________________

Love endlessly.

(in reply to Miyani)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 8:01:37 AM   
SlipSlidingAway


Posts: 223
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline 		How do you find someone real? Same way you do in the real world. You communicate. You have patience. You don't expect instant relationships. You put in your time, you weed out the fakes, you listen to what people are telling you.

Two days? Seriously, did you expect to find anything worth having in that amount of time?

It's not easier to find a partner in the lifestyle, it's harder. On top of all the normal categories you need compatibility in, there are a bunch more to take into consideration.

So, take your time, learn your way around, meet people and enjoy the journey until you reach your destination.

_____________________________

"...ethical behavior should be based...on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death. " —Albert Einstein

(in reply to Miyani)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 8:04:24 AM   
Endlesslove22


Posts: 13
Joined: 2/3/2014
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline 		I guess I'm just impatient? I'm new to this site, new to online searching, so I don't really know what to expect; what's realistic. I'm just being bombarded by people who aren't honest. That's all.

_____________________________

Love endlessly.

(in reply to SlipSlidingAway)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 8:07:15 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Stop being impatient. Stop assuming people online are honest.

Use your spidey sense and have no expectations.

(in reply to Endlesslove22)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 8:07:25 AM   
MisterP61


Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Endlesslove22

I wasn't asking for a relationship. I said that I was looking for friendship and that if things went well, I'd be open to moving onto something else if that was possible. There was nothing in my post that was disrespectful; certainly not disobedient. I feel like you should take some lessons in comprehension.

Here's what I said:

I'm hoping from you that we could grow a friendship. And if that works, I'd love to try moving on beyond that into mentorship, guiding ... maybe even a BDSM relationship.

Wow. Here we go again. Insulting the people trying to help you. Comprehension... really... if you didn't read her profile, then you didn't if you sent that message. You do realize that you are not the only submissive out there and these women have to deal with messages from wankers (before you get the proverbial panties in that proverbial wad, I am not saying you are) all day. They WILL appreciate someone who has read and shown they can comprehend what they wrote and are looking for. Everyone else will quickly find themselves either ignored completely or blocked. Period. End of story.

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

(in reply to Endlesslove22)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 8:09:12 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Actually, all of the second generation kinksters that I know (and I'm really shocked that MP didn't mention this) are in the same groups and such as the generation before them. (Most of the time, I've known the parents first.) Personally, I've always thought it made it easier for them to meet people because they already had a way to be introduced around.

If I recall correctly, there is somebody who posts here regularly on the boards who is in your city who is/was holding kinky craft days. Maybe that would be a way to meet people.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to candisa)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 8:10:38 AM   
Endlesslove22


Posts: 13
Joined: 2/3/2014
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline 		Thank you.

_____________________________

Love endlessly.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 8:10:44 AM   
SweetAnise


Posts: 480
Joined: 8/23/2013
Status: offline 		Connections definitely take time. Unlike popcorn. Get to know the community. join real local groups, go to a munch, and take the time to evolve into you. If they come they come if they don't...well they don't.

_____________________________

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."-Marianne Williamson




(in reply to MisterP61)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 8:20:25 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		How do you figure when you say: "I want a friend and a mentor" that mentorship and developing a friendship isn't a "relationship"? Is this code for NSA/FWB because you want to keep all your options open?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Endlesslove22

I wasn't asking for a relationship. I said that I was looking for friendship and that if things went well, I'd be open to moving onto something else if that was possible. There was nothing in my post that was disrespectful; certainly not disobedient. I feel like you should take some lessons in comprehension.

Here's what I said:

I'm hoping from you that we could grow a friendship. And if that works, I'd love to try moving on beyond that into mentorship, guiding ... maybe even a BDSM relationship.

Perhaps that is what you meant, but that is not what is contained verbatim in your profile as of this writing.

Before you say you meant you aren't seeking a romantic relationship, your user name aside, one of the things you list you are Actively Seeking is an "Online Romance" instead of Friends.

You are sending mixed signals. Good luck with that, as it should further prolong your search.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Endlesslove22)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 8:43:11 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Endlesslove22
I feel like you should take some lessons in comprehension.

Miyani has been posting here, on and off, for years. I haven't read all her posts, but I've read a lot of them. I can't remember her ever being rude or acting stupid. She's a solid person who says her piece and then leaves the thread.

For you to email her, hitting on her, just because she answered your question, is the kind of behavior that makes women not want to post on message boards. And for you to say her reading comprehension is bad makes you look like a jerk, because I know for a fact that her reading comprehension is fine.

So, in conclusion, to meet real people, the first thing I recommend you do is to stop acting creepy toward women.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Endlesslove22)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 8:44:17 AM   
Endlesslove22


Posts: 13
Joined: 2/3/2014
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline 		I'm sorry if I've upset or offended anyone.

_____________________________

Love endlessly.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 8:48:30 AM   
MisterP61


Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Endlesslove22

I'm sorry if I've upset or offended anyone.

I don't really think most of us are seeing it this way. We really do want to help those who truly want help with the site, and we are more then willing to share our experience. Take what you need and leave the rest. God knows I have made My mistakes on these forums. We live, we learn, we move on.

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

(in reply to Endlesslove22)
Profile   Post #: 20
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