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RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 9:03:33 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Endlesslove22

I'm sorry if I've upset or offended anyone.

I don't believe that is true.
And therein is your problem.

You complain you haven't met anyone honest and yet when you come across an honest statement in someone's profile (she isn't available) you steamroll right over it.
You send her a message asking for friendship, mentorship, guiding and maybe more.
And then you don't even acknowledge how that was wrong and argue that it wasn't disrespectful.

And with the way your apology is phrased, my guess is you don't really know/understand why what you did was wrong.
You are just trying for damage control because you don't want people to be mad at you.

You need to work on your patience.
And perhaps you should examine how honest you really are with other people, since that seems to be your biggest beef with the people you have encountered here.

We were all new once.
I remember what that was like.

But try to keep things in perspective: if you are catching people in lies early that saves you a lot of grief later.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to Endlesslove22)

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Post #: 21

RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 10:03:52 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Endlesslove22

Here's what I said:

I'm hoping from you that we could grow a friendship. And if that works, I'd love to try moving on beyond that into maybe even a BDSM relationship.

While totally ignoring the part of Miyani's profile that says she's not looking. So you're aiming at an eventual relationship and writing people who make it clear they aren't available for one. And you don't believe bird dogging is offensive?

If someone's profile says they aren't available, then take them at their word. It's incredibly rude of you to believe that they'll make an exception for you.

_____________________________

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Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Endlesslove22)

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Post #: 22

RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 12:10:14 PM

HipPoindexter

Posts: 188
Joined: 12/20/2013
Status: offline

A few things:

1) Your profile says nothing about you as a person. You don't list any interests. You don't talk about things that you love. You don't make any kind of personal statement beyond the fact that you're 26 and your parents are nudists and you want someone to, for the love of God, please dominate you. There's no basis for conversation and no way for anyone to tell if they want to talk to you or not.

2) It's become clear in this thread that you, as the kids say, "Ain't got no game" in the way you cold-message people. I'm not judging you here, maybe you're a good dude. Even giving you every benefit of every doubt, though, your approach seems to be rather clumsy. If you approach someone clumsily, and then have nothing on your profile, why would they want to talk with you?

3) Your journal entries are all about your "search." At the risk of being blunt, no1curr, bro. I idly scroll through a lot of journal entries while I'm killing time that could best be spent doing other things, and bland play by play accounts of someone's "journey as a submissive" or "search for their place in the BDSM community" or whatever are just so goddamn dull. You're not Odysseus at the banquet and no one gives a shit about your journey.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Endlesslove22

How do you find someone on here who isn't just looking for games?

How do you find someone real?

I've been looking and all I run into are dead ends. I want someone real, alive, not just interested in sex but more than that; someone interested in life. I want to grow, and learn, and share, and I want to feel something that can be built upon. It doesn't even matter if online is an only option. What matters is that the person is genuine.

I'm so lost. So sad.

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still ain't nothin' move but the money

(in reply to Endlesslove22)

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Post #: 23

RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 12:24:05 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

I'll leave out my comments regarding the insults you hurled in someone else's direction here because it looks like it was sufficiently covered. All Ill say is not cool, dude. Be careful with that because rude attitudes have a way of coming back to bite you in the ass. Anyone on the other side can click a link to see your forum posts and if I saw that when I was single and looking, Id pass you right on by. One of the qualities I look for is someone who can exhibit self control. Something to think about as you make your way through.

OP, you have been here two days. You are on the fresh meat...err, new user...list for I forget how long. Meaning you are a target for those who don't think you know better, those who are out to run game, and those who are as fake as a dead grandma's orgasm. It took me 6 years on here to finally find the one I found. But I'm admittedly selective and prefer quality over quantity.

You unfortunately also sound like you have the "I want what I want and I wanted it yesterday" mentality. But that could be because of your age...or it could be that you just lack patience in general. Two days isn't enough for a lot of things, but it sure as hell is not enough time to find someone "real, alive, not just interested in sex but more than that; someone interested in life." To be able to join with someone and "grow, and learn, and share" and to "feel something that can be built upon"...all of that takes time. It's not a matter of if you label yourself, they will come.

(in reply to HipPoindexter)

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Post #: 24

RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 5:40:32 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Endlesslove22

How do you find someone on here who isn't just looking for games?

How do you find someone real?

I've been looking and all I run into are dead ends. I want someone real, alive, not just interested in sex but more than that; someone interested in life. I want to grow, and learn, and share, and I want to feel something that can be built upon. It doesn't even matter if online is an only option. What matters is that the person is genuine.

I'm so lost. So sad.

Be yourself.

(in reply to Endlesslove22)

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Post #: 25

RE: The Real People - 2/5/2014 8:57:45 PM

SWDesertDom

Posts: 231
Joined: 4/5/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Miyani

If you want real people, be real. Don't message women who plainly state that they are not available, asking them for a relationship. That was a dead end of your own making.

Just a note, while your profile says you are unavailable. Your "actively seeking" list says you are looking for submissive men. I know a lot of people forget to update this, when stuff changes. It affects how you show up in people's searches, and sometimes their profiles aren't very up to date, so it's confusing and sends mixed messages.

(in reply to Miyani)

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Post #: 26

RE: The Real People - 2/6/2014 9:09:14 AM

MercTech

Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

... checks in mirror ... pokes belly .... sings a note ....

Yep, still existing in the real world.

It seems that empirical evidence leads to the conclusion that not conforming to a particular kink or fantasy does not render a person imaginary. <snark circuit engaged>

I'm reminded of a sound byte from the show "Frasier".... "And what color is the sky in your world?"

(in reply to SWDesertDom)

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Post #: 27