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RE: Question from a newbie - 7/6/2006 7:11:04 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I am a man, and will attain the haute coutier of my host and hostess, if we are going to shuck and jive, you will shuck and I will jive.........

At night when the lites are out I will shuck and jive and you will hope to be weighed in the balance and not found wanting.........

Didj I skaret jas?

He heheheheheh

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)

Post #: 21

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/6/2006 7:36:33 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I am a man, and will attain the haute coutier of my host and hostess, if we are going to shuck and jive, you will shuck and I will jive.........

At night when the lites are out I will shuck and jive and you will hope to be weighed in the balance and not found wanting.........

Didj I skaret jas?

He heheheheheh

LOL Dress code in my abode is clothing optional. And nah, you don't scare me...I shuck and jive with the best of them. But unless you travel north you're just going to have to miss the show.

Now stop hijacking the poor OP's thread, you handsome reprobate, you.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:

My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 22

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/6/2006 9:31:18 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear kimmysue, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Lass, I would ask you to consider what are 'perks' without strings attached.

I would be wary of any dominant that put sexual suggestions into a mix of what might be 'friendship.' I find it a caution, when talking about anything sexual and the term 'using a hole.' Using or opening a hole can also refer to fisting, genital torture, vaginal torture as well as sexual toys and or gosh who knows what. My mind's eye would make sure assumptions are no longer. Communications and expand on what is at the bases of the 'hint' or 'dropping of words.'

Personally, I don't mix sex with BDSM. I don't mix sex with friendship. I don't 'use' friends or sex as to get perks out of somebody.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to kimmysue)

Post #: 23

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/6/2006 9:33:23 PM

kimmysue

Posts: 21
Joined: 5/20/2006
Status: offline

Well E/everyone... I've read all of Y/your posts & went back ... re-read my own profile. i don't know what i was thinking. Maybe the biggest attraction is that he is (or claims to be single), a lot of the "Doms" i talk to are married. A/all of Y/you are right... i agree w/ what E/everyone said, i guess i just needed someone to reaffirm my gut feelings. When the Dom & i were talking in IM's, i told Him... "fine, no sexual contact whatsoever then"... needless to say, i haven't received many messages from him since & NO phone calls. Not that he called that much anyways... but... oh well...

By the way, the questions about sex & BDSM, i hijacked from my local BDSM group... just looking for other P/people's opinions... i just wanted to see how E/everyone's opinions are different.

Thank Y/you again... i needed the slap of reality... *no pun intended* lol

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)

Post #: 24

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/6/2006 9:41:44 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear kimmysue,

I wouldn't consider needing a slap of reality lass. I rather see it as confirming gut feelings and just getting support. Covering all the basis if you will.

Always know that you are a good lass, who deserved to be invested in. Anybody who does not wish responsibility or 'strings' attached to friendship, being a Top or anything; really isn't investing in you as a young lady you are. Friends invest in each other, even if its gentle affectionate words or sharing times. Friends are to lean on and not worth keeping it they withdraw from you and never invest back into you.

Be kind to yourself lass. Be patient and trust your gut instincts.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to kimmysue)

Post #: 25

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/6/2006 9:56:50 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I will echo Hugsters sentiments......

Here's the thing.......

Regardless of what you perceive as your experience......you pretty much know what do do and how to act........

The change here is be yourself or be by your goddamn self....and
you are going to spend sometime by yourself.......
But, If you go to your stones tomorrow...what will you have missed?
The Love of your life?
True that.
But if you can't have the love of your life.......

Why walk?
Lou Reed leans against a lampost;
and starts blowing the saxaphone........
Fade out........

Really!

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to kimmysue)

Post #: 26

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/6/2006 11:05:35 PM

kimmysue

Posts: 21
Joined: 5/20/2006
Status: offline

LadyHugs,

Do You have a male Dominant clone in the Cleveland, OH area? LOL

I always enjoy reading your posts on various topics... you are so smart & offer wonderful advice!

Thank You for reminding me of what i/my submission is worth!

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 27

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/6/2006 11:17:05 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kimmysue

i don't know what i was thinking. Maybe the biggest attraction is that he is (or claims to be single), a lot of the "Doms" i talk to are married.

Trust me, I know what you mean. It gets tough sometimes to stick to your ideals, but it's never a good idea to compromise something that's really important to you.

I'm glad that you had some time to think about it and come to a decision that feels right for you.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:

My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to kimmysue)

Post #: 28

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/6/2006 11:33:11 PM

kimmysue

Posts: 21
Joined: 5/20/2006
Status: offline

i guess i just don't "get" why people play games & yes i am eager to find my "One", but i needed to be shaken up a bit ...to be reminded not to "settle"...after all, it would be setting myself up for failure & plenty of heartache i am sure.

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)

Post #: 29

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/7/2006 8:24:17 AM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear kimmysue,

Unfortunately, I don't have a clone. I am not aware of any dominant males in Ohio but, that doesn't mean they don't exist.

I'll keep my eyes and ears open on the Master-slave conference attendee list. But, not everybody passes the Hugs' test. [winks]

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to kimmysue)

Post #: 30

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/7/2006 8:48:19 AM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear kimmysue, Ladies and Gentlemen;

My paramount advice to any slave or submissive is; to honor and respect yourself, to include your mind, your emotions, you spirit, your senses, your physical being, your hope/faith and patience.

Never use 'sex' as a weapon, a tool, a bargain tool/chip, currency, blackmail, manipulation tool/weapon, or focal point. Sex is a power. Power can be helpful or dangerous. Be in charge of your own power and sexual business, treat it with respect. Have others respect your sexual nature even more than yourself. It is one of your powers out of many but, used more reckless than anything else. Sex does not heal a person or situation, just gives temporary pain relief. That is why rape is a horrible crime--it robs you of your power. Note; men can be raped also so this is gender neutral advice.

Follow your gut feeling always. It is never evident at first however, it is God's gift to humans for survival and animals have theirs also. So if your pet does not like someone; heed their animal instincts and beware.

Never feel badly about sticking to your guns. Compromise only when you have many valid reasons to do so and to your personal advantage.
Such as you can compromise as to what car you drive to a point but, you cannot compromise on giving up freedoms to visit, communicate with family, friends and the scene/community, et. al. So, indeed treat yourself as a successful business. Merging companies only when it is right, e.g. 'the one.' By removing the emotions, it helps see more. Let emotions be the last one to vote.

If you are in a judgment phase; Identify what it is. Identify what it is not and then consentrate focus on what cannot be identified or what can't be explained.

Never forget to laugh, have fun and enjoy life. It delays the aging process.

Just a few tid bits of my personal advice to people, for consideration.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to kimmysue)

Post #: 31

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/7/2006 9:00:38 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Lady Hugs,

Not that my opinion is any sort of rubber stamp but I enjoyed this last post.

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 32

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/7/2006 2:28:41 PM

SirDarkside357

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Don't settle for less than you need and want......as for the other questions, For me, though I'm not a BDSM play person (not to say that there arn't BDSM aspects to my life...WEG) all sexual or sexual related things are tied together...why would I cut the cake if I didn't plan on eating it? But that's just me.

Darkside

(in reply to kimmysue)

Post #: 33

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/7/2006 3:43:21 PM

Stunning

Posts: 76
Joined: 7/16/2004
Status: offline

1) Anyone who says it's not about sex is trying to make it into some mystical bullshit. Yes, it's about all the good stuff concerning protection and nurturing and trust... but you're naked a lot. And you touch each others' naughty bits a lot. It's about sex.

2) Go read "He's Just Not That Into You." You're talking about the vanilla aspect of the relationship. He's not interested. For whatever reason. And it's probably not about you.

3) You're going to get your feelings hurt, I think. Prepare yourself for that.

4) Guys/girls... makes no difference: we all love a challenge. If you act less interested he will wonder why and he will pursue more. You gotta play hard to get, even after you've been gotten. Never stop playing hard to get; at least a little.

5) There will be people who will decry my advice. Take it or leave it. I feel very comfortable with my success rate.

6) And seriously, please don't do that A/a shit. Someone got you thinking it's proper. That's form over substance and it's ridiculous. I want to pummel whoever started that shit. But that's just my soapbox. I tend to appreciate an intelligent sub with a grasp on grammar and punctuation.

(in reply to kimmysue)

Post #: 34

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/7/2006 3:50:31 PM

SirDarkside357

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Concerning #6....... I/i D/don't H/have A/a P/problem W/with I/it....... I just ain't sharp enuff to read and understand most of it...besides, I'm old....it hurts my eyes. And I sure don't have the time or the typing skills to use it.

Darkside

(in reply to Stunning)

Post #: 35

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/7/2006 3:51:52 PM

SirDarkside357

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

OK, so I do sort of have a few problems with it. LOL

(in reply to SirDarkside357)

Post #: 36

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/7/2006 3:52:08 PM

Stunning

Posts: 76
Joined: 7/16/2004
Status: offline

Haha. BTW, does the 357 refer to calibre? I should put 10mm after my name then.

(in reply to SirDarkside357)

Post #: 37

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/7/2006 6:41:59 PM

SirDarkside357

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Actually when I first used 357 it did. Then those that knew me just called it my number. Then I discovered that it was the combination of my lucky number(5), my slaves lucky number(3), and the lucky number of my right hand man(7). So I have kept it for many years.

(in reply to Stunning)

Post #: 38

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/8/2006 7:18:42 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stunning

6) And seriously, please don't do that A/a shit. Someone got you thinking it's proper. That's form over substance and it's ridiculous. I want to pummel whoever started that shit. But that's just my soapbox. I tend to appreciate an intelligent sub with a grasp on grammar and punctuation.

Stunning, I think I love you!

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Stunning)

Post #: 39

RE: Question from a newbie - 7/8/2006 7:43:34 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stunning

1) Anyone who says it's not about sex is trying to make it into some mystical bullshit. Yes, it's about all the good stuff concerning protection and nurturing and trust... but you're naked a lot. And you touch each others' naughty bits a lot. It's about sex.

2) Go read "He's Just Not That Into You." You're talking about the vanilla aspect of the relationship. He's not interested. For whatever reason. And it's probably not about you.

3) You're going to get your feelings hurt, I think. Prepare yourself for that.

4) Guys/girls... makes no difference: we all love a challenge. If you act less interested he will wonder why and he will pursue more. You gotta play hard to get, even after you've been gotten. Never stop playing hard to get; at least a little.

5) There will be people who will decry my advice. Take it or leave it. I feel very comfortable with my success rate.

6) And seriously, please don't do that A/a shit. Someone got you thinking it's proper. That's form over substance and it's ridiculous. I want to pummel whoever started that shit. But that's just my soapbox. I tend to appreciate an intelligent sub with a grasp on grammar and punctuation.

The only umbrage I have with what you say is instead of "playing hard to get" you should really BE hard to get... no playing about it...smiles

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Stunning)

Post #: 40

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