What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/9/2014 4:52:27 PM

OneSexyGuy

Posts: 33
Joined: 2/1/2014
Status: offline

I pose this question to any subs on here: What is it that you most want out of a Dom and why? Please answer completely and honestly. Thank you all.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/9/2014 5:36:58 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Honesty, trustworthy, awesomely competent, confident not arrogant, intelligent. And high levels of compatibility.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/9/2014 5:53:23 PM

tallandsweet16

Posts: 72
Joined: 10/17/2013
Status: offline

yes. honesty. confident. assured. thoughtful. exceptional follow thru. mentally stimulating...high expectations of His sub but understanding and just punishment when needed. no games. sense of humor. kind-hearted nature.
:) just a few. :)

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/9/2014 5:56:35 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

I want him to make me addicted to him sexually and constantly crave for his sexual attentions on me.
But he should be calm, mature and patient, funny and diplomatic. And have a back to earth, realistic view on how to mix kink with the real day to day world in a sensible and realistic manner.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 2/9/2014 5:58:28 PM >

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/9/2014 6:01:56 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually stable

Intelligent
h/w proportionate
physically appealing
charismatic
dominant personality
leadership material
take charge attitude
loving
caring
ethical
shares same morals and values
believes in God
communicative
not addicted to anything
loves me more than his pets
has no children
isn't married or in a relationship
monogamous
loves his family

my list could go on and on forever because my list isn't any different whether you want to call them a Dom or a vanilla.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Greta75)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 7:23:44 PM

Darkhaven80

Posts: 76
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Honesty, trustworthy, awesomely competent, confident not arrogant, intelligent. And high levels of compatibility.

All of this. Personality reigns.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 9:01:06 PM

OneSexyGuy

Posts: 33
Joined: 2/1/2014
Status: offline

Thank you for the answers and they are all completely reasonable. As a Dom though I felt as though I was reading a list of demands. If I was to evaluate my potential interest in a sub based on her answers then I would feel as though they presented themselves in a way that made them seem not submissive, and therefor, as a Dom I would conclude that I am not interested in any. I feel this is because the way the answers are structured. I notice how no one mentioned how much they wanted a Dom to provide them with someone to focus their time and attention on. I understand that if a Dom was to fit the list described above they would naturally feel that way, but in the answers provided above that was not specifically mentioned at all. It's just something to think about. Feel free to comment with any thoughts all are welcome.

(in reply to Darkhaven80)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 9:40:04 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSexyGuy
Thank you for the answers and they are all completely reasonable. As a Dom though I felt as though I was reading a list of demands. If I was to evaluate my potential interest in a sub based on her answers then I would feel as though they presented themselves in a way that made them seem not submissive, and therefor, as a Dom I would conclude that I am not interested in any. I feel this is because the way the answers are structured. I notice how no one mentioned how much they wanted a Dom to provide them with someone to focus their time and attention on. I understand that if a Dom was to fit the list described above they would naturally feel that way, but in the answers provided above that was not specifically mentioned at all. It's just something to think about. Feel free to comment with any thoughts all are welcome.

This post makes you sound like a condescending jackass. If your goal when starting a thread is to "teach" the poor female subs who have the misfortune to answer your questions, then either everyone will learn to avoid your threads -- or, ah, everyone will participate on them.

In the meantime, believe it or not, sub women might have something to teach you, also.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 9:49:13 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Why shouldn't I have a list of must haves and deal breakers? Why shouldn't I get my needs met also?
Why do you believe a sub isn't allowed to know what they need to be happy?

And why do you feel that needing a partner who is honest and has integrity makes me not submissive?

It is because I knew exactly what I needed in a partner in order to be happy that I have been in a TPE for over ten years.

But at no point was I looking for someone else to focus my attention on while getting nothing in return. I looked for someone who could inspire my submission.

The other thing, op, that you're missing is that until we commit to someone, we aren't submissive. We're just ordinary people. And without getting our needs met, we aren't ever going to be your submissive. Submissive is inside a relationship dynamic. It doesn't exist in a vacuum.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 10:19:37 PM

OneSexyGuy

Posts: 33
Joined: 2/1/2014
Status: offline

WOW NEVERMIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 10:29:00 PM

OneSexyGuy

Posts: 33
Joined: 2/1/2014
Status: offline

The purpose of the statement above was to evaluate the direct statement of others and comment based on my view point. I realize that some participants in the first questioned felt I was evaluating them specifically. If you choose to participate in the questions then I ask emotional responses be set aside as the questions and my reflections are not to intended to offend anyone. I am conducting a study for my college communications class. Thank you.

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 10:37:33 PM

OneSexyGuy

Posts: 33
Joined: 2/1/2014
Status: offline

Please understand that I am evaluating communication through logical responses in order for scientific control. This is a study that I have designed in order to evaluate barriers to human communication involving interpersonal relationships. Thank you.

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 10:41:33 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

If it was a study, you could have mentioned so in the original, OP, rather than use the forum to elicit your own form of unsuspecting lab rats.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 10:43:09 PM

orgasmdenial12

Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline

Answer deleted as OP is non-consensually collecting data for an academic project.

As regards communication, OP, calling yourself a Dom and then looking for Dominant women is commonly known as 'lying'. If you're a switch, you should say so.

< Message edited by orgasmdenial12 -- 2/10/2014 10:45:26 PM >

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 10:45:45 PM

OneSexyGuy

Posts: 33
Joined: 2/1/2014
Status: offline

I did not intend for the reader to think that I was downplaying the needs of the submissive role. I was only pointing out the other piece that wasn't specifically mentioned but apparently implied. However, I do apologize to any offended.

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 10:46:35 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

I want a dom who is able to tell me up front, with clarity, what it is that he is expecting of me. Someone intelligent who will give me all the information I need to complete a task correctly rather than throw a hissy-fit halfway through when he realises that I'm not psychic

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 10:49:44 PM

OneSexyGuy

Posts: 33
Joined: 2/1/2014
Status: offline

Feel free to answer: Is trust the foundation to relationship communication?

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 10:55:28 PM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

I don't feel that freedom. I feel inhibited by the notion that any thought I put to pixel will be used in some kind of publication upon which I have no control. My words could be truncated, edited, purposely placed out of context ...

Nah.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSexyGuy

Feel free to answer: Is trust the foundation to relationship communication?

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 11:05:26 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSexyGuy

Feel free to answer: Is trust the foundation to relationship communication?

What has this got to do with the submissive role specifically? Surely if you're attempting to evaluate communication within a relationship, then both (or all) parties within that relationship should be eligible to answer?

Furthermore, I don't see why this is a bdsm 'thing'. Relationships are not exclusively based on bdsm, nor are they solely 'romantic' (for want of a better word) relationships. What about familial relationships and professional relationships?

If this really is a study for a college project (and quite frankly I'm not buying it), then it seems to be quite poorly thought out and/or extremely poorly communicated.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/10/2014 11:20:11 PM

OneSexyGuy

Posts: 33
Joined: 2/1/2014
Status: offline

I assumed that a BDSM chat room would provide me with more evenly mixed culturally, economically, and racial background of people to participate in discussion in an online chatroom, as with the BDSM community it reaches a wider age group, political background, social, and economic background of people.

(in reply to myotherself)

Profile

Post #: 20