A *slight* problem

A *slight* problem (Full Version)

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alovingslavegirl -> A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 11:27:36 AM)
Does anyone ever...umm...revolt against their Master? i mean, come up with some defiant streak, willfully disobey, don't do any of the stuff you're supposed to, and talk back. i don't intend to, honestly, i just get...upset and act out. And then, He just ignores that like He does everything else, so i don't really have any reason to curb this...habit, except that i feel guilty. So...i guess what i'm getting at is, how do you keep yourself in subspace, and how do you get your Master to be...more Dominant?

mnottertail -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 11:34:53 AM)
You are acting out for what reason? I might ignore petulant shit like that as well, as I consider whether or not to boot you out the door, if you are not into the deal... you ain't........... Outta here, clown!!!

alovingslavegirl -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 11:41:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail You are acting out for what reason? I might ignore petulant shit like that as well, as I consider whether or not to boot you out the door, if you are not into the deal... you ain't........... Outta here, clown!!! i'm sorry, but there is no reason to be rude or inhospitable. i asked a valid question, and if you cannot give a polite answer, then you shouldn't have answered at all. i never said that i did this on a regular basis. Most of the time, i am fine and content in my submission. i obey. i serve. my Master is of the opinion that i am a good slave...no one is perfect. That being said, i posted this as a tool to become a better slave. You don't figure that is a deal? Also, i'm not your slave..." Outta here, clown!" won't fly. i don't have to, nor will i obey you, and i am not a clown.[:'(]

mnottertail -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 11:50:19 AM)
That was a very polite answer... Perhaps you should take less umbrage at how I say things (obviously not to your liking) and consider what was said. I asked for no obedience from anyone. I did not say you said anything, I first asked the question, WHY?

alovingslavegirl -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 11:54:06 AM)
Because i don't exactly feel mentally well at the time being, so that i try to get a...reaction out of Him, to cut through it.

Emperor1956 -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 11:54:46 AM)
To the OP: Of course submissives rebel. Did you ever see "Secretary"? One of the charms of that movie is the constant tension in her acceptance/defiance, and the wicked ways she "goads" her employer/Master. I think each M/s pair works out how they handle the s's "acting out" and the M's response. E.

missturbation -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 12:02:01 PM)
I act up occasionally too hun and all i can say is that for me it is because i'm looking for attention (maybe in the wrong way) or because i am dominant in my working life and it is a hard thing to just shut that off as soon as i come home from work. In my personal opinion a sub / slave that does everything they are told and never answers back would be very boring. Who really wants a doormat? Why do you put into question his dominance? Does his ignoring you when you act up make him not dominant? I actually find to ignore someone takes a lot more mental strength than punishing them or reacting does! Surely your reason for curbing this habit would be to please your Master, his ignorance of you shows disaproval does it not? If it is only to get rid of your guilt you look to curb this habit you are only thinking of yourself and in Master / sub relationship surely your first thoughts should be of him.

mnottertail -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 12:03:49 PM)
There is a problem with this, you see.....I can understand your confusion, or other ill put together mental state from time to time. What if you stay with the one-sided deal, i.e. oh, he ignores it so why not? And this becomes a habitual thing that occurs more and more frequently........and he watches and says nothing, until one day he says.........."You're outta here, clown"........ How would that day look to you? Will you feel better; or worse? Would it tear the fabric of the universe if you were to take a breath, and say, "Look, Master.....I am at odds in my mind, and I need to talk about it with you now, and it is a big thing for me, and I don't want you to ignore it........" Both parties are responsible for communication. That is a big part of what we said we wanted, so we should be doing it and not letting it slide......... Better for you?

alovingslavegirl -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 12:05:04 PM)
Right...negative attention is better than no attention

alovingslavegirl -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 12:07:12 PM)
lol...yes, much better, thank You. The problem is, that he won't listen to the ""Look, Master.....I am at odds in my mind, and I need to talk about it with you now, and it is a big thing for me, and I don't want you to ignore it........" He considers it childish... is it?

gentlethistle -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 12:11:22 PM)
I do agree that it can be very difficult sometimes to handle a lack of feedback on behaviour. If I do something that I regard as non-compliant and this receives no response, then I begin to question whether my 'failure' is actually of any importance to my dominant. Now, it may likely be that he is taking care to control any anger or displeasure, so as to both retain command of the situation and not to be pushed into anything by me 'acting up', and also to not reward my bad behaviour with attention. However, while I can see logically that this is perfectly admirable...it doesn't change the fact that my emotional response is, 'so...it doesn't really matter to him what I do then?' I guess the only thing you can do is try to raise how you feel outside the heat of the moment, so it doesn't just sound brattish.... Easier said than done. Laura P.S. Edited to add that it's even harder to do if the attempt is actively discouraged as being childish. I don't know if it is (after all I'm not a dominant) but it sounds like quite an adult approach to me to raise your concerns explicitly.

mnottertail -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 12:12:22 PM)
I only know your side and know you are young. I wonder what then he would not consider childish..........will you brave any beating to see your point thru to conclusion? Is it that he doesn't give you attention, that you behave childishly? Does he behave childishly when he wants attention? Do you ever both take evenings just to talk, and hope and dream? Draw your own conclusions to what I am saying...... But you see how very easy in the course of human events it is to misunderstand anyone......... Turns out I am a hell of a nice guy, by example.........LOLOLOL.

missturbation -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 12:12:30 PM)
If he sees something which is obviously causing you great concern as 'childish' then just maybe he isnt the right master for you.

TxBadMan -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 12:26:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: alovingslavegirl Does anyone ever...umm...revolt against their Master? i mean, come up with some defiant streak, willfully disobey, don't do any of the stuff you're supposed to, and talk back. i don't intend to, honestly, i just get...upset and act out. And then, He just ignores that like He does everything else, so i don't really have any reason to curb this...habit, except that i feel guilty. So...i guess what i'm getting at is, how do you keep yourself in subspace, and how do you get your Master to be...more Dominant? If my girl was to willfully disobey me for no reason other than to gain attention, our relationship would be over. I have not time for brats.

Caretakr -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 12:33:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: alovingslavegirl Right...negative attention is better than no attention The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Try figuring out what you are reacting against, rather than just reacting to your own reactance. This is a core responsibility of the submissive-don't try to make it the Dominant's issue-that's a cop out. And as far as the control, I'm sure you will get the control that you DESERVE, from your ACTIONS.

MstrsOrlando -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 12:52:44 PM)
Dear lovingslavegirl - From a Domme's point of view - I can tell you that unless you clean up the acting out you run the risk of eroding the relationship and for lack of a better word - beating your Master down. It's hard enough work being an active Dominant; meaning one who is not a lazy Dom; then to constantly take the time out to deal with a tantrum or disobediance or acting out. After awhile a Dominant could feel disrespected or even unloved and hold resentment that will eventually destroy what you might have built...or...seemingly in your case....decide to no longer be Dominant to you. Without knowing what you are specifically being defiant about it's hard to say. My own girl is defiant about how she wears her clothes but I'm learning and discovering that has more to do with her self image as a child growing up, her gender identitiy and how she percieves herself now. Now the question becomes - given My expectation - how or what can she really change. It's one step at a time. I hope this has helped and I urge you to speak to him with respect and love because ultimately if the two of you continue on this course, what is the likelyhood of the two of you lasting? Mistress Orlando

BitaTruble -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 12:57:03 PM)
Greetings alovingslavegirl, This may sound odd to you and you (and everyone else) should feel free to ignore my advice but if you really are having difficulty communicating with him (for whatever reason.. even if he's the one not allowing it) then spend $.39 cents for a stamp, print out your posts (and the rest of the thread if you like) and mail it to him in an envelope. That takes a serious effort. Apparently he's not taking you seriously as an adult, so if you try being serious on that level, maybe it will open a door to actual communication in which both of you 'hear' one another. Receiving a letter from you with these concerns 'may' help in that endeavor, it may not .. but I don't see how it could hurt at this point. Good luck to you.. Celeste

Fawne -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 12:59:19 PM)
Well, I have never conciously willfully disbehaved. I sure have had reactace though. Yes, and I am working through it. Always believe in self improvement. I do think there may be 2 types (or more) of submissives. - one needs to be knocked down. -2 the other needs to be built up. It is a dominant's choice and decision if they believe the person has potential and the dominants choice to make good decisions for himself as well. JMHO, all!

yourMissTress -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 1:04:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail I only know your side and know you are young. I wonder what then he would not consider childish..........will you brave any beating to see your point thru to conclusion? Is it that he doesn't give you attention, that you behave childishly? Does he behave childishly when he wants attention? Do you ever both take evenings just to talk, and hope and dream? Draw your own conclusions to what I am saying...... But you see how very easy in the course of human events it is to misunderstand anyone......... Turns out I am a hell of a nice guy, by example.........LOLOLOL. And many of us knew it all along, Ron.

Fawne -> RE: A slight* problem* (7/6/2006 1:08:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Do you ever both take evenings just to talk, and hope and dream? Now there's a fine idea! [;)]

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