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The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/11/2014 12:21:22 PM   
CarolineLA


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/10/2014
Status: offline 		Most of my friends are women; even when I go to play parties. When I'm with people it seems like no one really listens to each other. Everyone is more interested in what they have to say than the other person. I have so many friends that just talk my right ear off. I'm not saying everyone is like this because I've met people who authentically listens. It just seems rare to find someone who listens.

When I'm with a talker I tend to be quiet and more of a listener. I feel drown out by them. Like a sounding board for their voice. I don't matter or count. When I'm with someone who authentically listens, which is rare, I talk more and share more. Men are confusing because they will listen to you in order to have sex. When they get what they want they show a different personality. So I can only share my observations when I'm with women.

What is your observation? Am I terribly wrong?

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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/11/2014 12:29:24 PM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline 		*sips coffee, thumbs through pages of the recent Northern Tool sale catalog*

Um, sorry...did you say something?

(in reply to CarolineLA)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/11/2014 12:41:28 PM   
CarolineLA


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/10/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS

*sips coffee, thumbs through pages of the recent Northern Tool sale catalog*

Um, sorry...did you say something?



EXACTLY!!! Lol....

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/11/2014 1:08:52 PM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		I have a few questions on this topic.

1) What if said talker falls into the human subspecies "Terminaly stupid sapiens" and stopped making any kind of intelligent sense after "Hello?"

2) When do you pull out staple gun and permanently attach the terminally stupid talker's tongue to the table/bar/wall/railroad tie? (in the case of the railroad tie, on an active track of course)

Or do you skip number two and go to the alternative of horribly painful murder and body disposal?

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to CarolineLA)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/11/2014 5:24:04 PM   
CarolineLA


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/10/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS

*sips coffee, thumbs through pages of the recent Northern Tool sale catalog*

Um, sorry...did you say something?


Even quiet people seem not to listen, not just the talkers. When you converse with them they are thinking about their job, the news, etc.

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/11/2014 6:15:04 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		FR



_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to CarolineLA)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/11/2014 6:34:07 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiPbr2V30NQ

Check out the hookers' wise exchange at 4:40.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to dcnovice)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/11/2014 6:43:44 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		One last tidbit.

The Rule of St. Benedict has been a spiritual tool for millions of people over the centuries.

Its very first word? Yes . . .

Listen

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to dcnovice)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/11/2014 7:39:42 PM   
CarolineLA


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/10/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

FR




This is so true!!!!

(in reply to dcnovice)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/11/2014 7:40:10 PM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		I listen very well, unless the person talking is spouting such stupidity, at which point I look for a way to escape... or a blunt object.


_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to dcnovice)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/11/2014 8:02:52 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		It's the me me me generation. Everyone is about themselves. It's why people pass someone who is hurt and don't stop to help them. It's why no one really cares about their partners. It's why we have the recession.

Not listening?

Not surprising.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/11/2014 8:13:57 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Agreed OP.

People don't listen or talk. They prefer blogging about themselves.

They are too busy, too attached to their devices and too self absorbed.

One of my old friends sent me a text last week that just said "HB!"

I said what? I realized she was attempting to say Happy Birthday.

I find that pathetic that she was too busy and could not type the words out.

So nothing surprises me. I am in sales, so listening is critical for me.

I also remember what people say, which is very helpful in all interactions.



(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/11/2014 9:08:06 PM   
CarolineLA


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/10/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Agreed OP.

People don't listen or talk. They prefer blogging about themselves.

They are too busy, too attached to their devices and too self absorbed.

One of my old friends sent me a text last week that just said "HB!"

I said what? I realized she was attempting to say Happy Birthday.

I find that pathetic that she was too busy and could not type the words out.

So nothing surprises me. I am in sales, so listening is critical for me.

I also remember what people say, which is very helpful in all interactions.





I hope she wasn't a close friend! Next Christmas text her, "MC"

(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/11/2014 9:20:33 PM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		Oh I agree, I tell people look, a conversation is you talk, I listen, I talk, you listen and I am mean listen. Otherwise what we are having is...not a conversation.

A friend regularly calls from back east, asks me questions about Vegas and how its going out here, the talks over my answer. I ask him...why did you call again ? I think it is a from of insecurity, afraid...nobody is listening. Too often after while...they are correct.

< Message edited by MrRodgers -- 2/11/2014 9:21:49 PM >

(in reply to CarolineLA)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/12/2014 5:22:06 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Then why are you friends with them? Why aren't you picking for your friends the people who can listen? Why not make new and better friends instead of those who demonstrate they don't care?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/12/2014 5:25:15 AM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		I tend to phase out...and mentally begging to get away.

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You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/12/2014 6:42:58 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		I really think this is a matter of wiring, most of us are talkers, a few listeners. I do think you can teach yourself to be more of a listener or a talker, but it is difficult.



_____________________________



(in reply to CarolineLA)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/12/2014 6:55:21 AM   
CarolineLA


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/10/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Then why are you friends with them? Why aren't you picking for your friends the people who can listen? Why not make new and better friends instead of those who demonstrate they don't care?


I do have a few friends who do authentically listen but they seem hard to come by. These two are married and their husbands are jealous of how they spend their time so it's hard to meet them sometimes. It can be very challenging finding people who authentically listen.

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/12/2014 7:44:01 AM   
Domnotlooking


Posts: 249
Joined: 8/11/2013
Status: offline 		You can't listen to others very well if you aren't comfortable in your own skin. A good listener is always a person who has developed the skill and temperament of listening to his own heart first.

As to men feigning listening to get sex or whatever, has a single woman ever been fooled by this? If they were fooled, they wanted to believe what they wanted to believe.

But they knew…...

(in reply to CarolineLA)
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RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/12/2014 8:54:54 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		i'm a listener, but generally I find other people are just waiting for their turn to talk again, or they just talk over me until I stop talking. it's the reason I don't bother with a lot of people. I just can't be bothered with the ignorance. I have only one person that I feel I can actually talk to, and he listens. other than that I may as well be a mute.

needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

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