RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/12/2014 9:01:58 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

~ fast reply ~

You may already know this, OP, but "authentic listening" is a phrase that refers to a very specific kind of listening that is faith- or spirituality-based. It's usually taught by religious organizations, esp. Buddhists, though not limited to them. So I don't see it as a lost art -- rather, it seems like a pretty new player on the scene.

If you are claiming that people listen to others less than they did a generation, or 5 generations, ago, I'd like to see the evidence that backs this up. Women have been complaining that men don't listen to them -- and adults have been complaining that children don't listen to their wisdom -- for thousands of years.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to CarolineLA)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/12/2014 9:54:54 AM

anniezz338

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline

In my case, it's more about "authentic hearing". I've been having trouble hearing for about 6 months and it is really tiring to keep asking others to repeat what they said. Sometimes it is just easier to smile and nod.

< Message edited by anniezz338 -- 2/12/2014 10:08:26 AM >

_____________________________

I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/12/2014 8:07:57 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarolineLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Agreed OP.

People don't listen or talk. They prefer blogging about themselves.

They are too busy, too attached to their devices and too self absorbed.

One of my old friends sent me a text last week that just said "HB!"

I said what? I realized she was attempting to say Happy Birthday.

I find that pathetic that she was too busy and could not type the words out.

So nothing surprises me. I am in sales, so listening is critical for me.

I also remember what people say, which is very helpful in all interactions.

I hope she wasn't a close friend! Next Christmas text her, "MC"

The sad hing is, I know her 20 years, and she was always attentive.

I think my cancer diagnosis made her pull away, even though I really have not discussed it much with her.

I am finding this to be a pattern. I can tell you I am still acting like my fun self socially, so this is on them.

(in reply to CarolineLA)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/12/2014 9:38:59 PM

CarolineLA

Posts: 7
Joined: 2/10/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarolineLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Agreed OP.

People don't listen or talk. They prefer blogging about themselves.

They are too busy, too attached to their devices and too self absorbed.

One of my old friends sent me a text last week that just said "HB!"

I said what? I realized she was attempting to say Happy Birthday.

I find that pathetic that she was too busy and could not type the words out.

So nothing surprises me. I am in sales, so listening is critical for me.

I also remember what people say, which is very helpful in all interactions.

I hope she wasn't a close friend! Next Christmas text her, "MC"

The sad hing is, I know her 20 years, and she was always attentive.

I think my cancer diagnosis made her pull away, even though I really have not discussed it much with her.

I am finding this to be a pattern. I can tell you I am still acting like my fun self socially, so this is on them.

I'm so sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis. I hope they caught it at an early stage.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/12/2014 9:44:02 PM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I really think this is a matter of wiring, most of us are talkers, a few listeners. I do think you can teach yourself to be more of a listener or a talker, but it is difficult.

I am a listener; had to teach myself to talk more! Came in handy as a bartender.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/13/2014 4:31:47 AM

theshytype

Posts: 1600
Status: offline

I'm a listener. I won't offer up advice or opinions unless asked. I can be a talker but I don't prefer to be. Probably best since I don't know many listeners.
There are times when my mind wanders and that's when I'm listening to someone who is very thorough telling a story, one less serious in nature. Every last detail told. I'm more of a to-the-point type person. I have a friend who does this but I love her to death. She is one of the very few who knows when my mind glazes over and is completely understanding. She'll just snap me out of it and continues on talking.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/13/2014 12:07:13 PM

FinSubCA

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/13/2014
Status: offline

The same thing can be said about people who are selfish. It seems like a lot of people are only interested in what they can get from the other person. In every relationship they have to be the one who "is ahead."

(in reply to theshytype)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/13/2014 1:46:31 PM

MercTech

Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

Have you ever noticed that many that complain about people not listening to them snack on horse pate while they are talking?

Horse Pate => What you get when you repeatedly beat a dead horse.

(in reply to FinSubCA)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/13/2014 4:29:34 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarolineLA

Most of my friends are women; even when I go to play parties. When I'm with people it seems like no one really listens to each other. Everyone is more interested in what they have to say than the other person. I have so many friends that just talk my right ear off. I'm not saying everyone is like this because I've met people who authentically listens. It just seems rare to find someone who listens.

When I'm with a talker I tend to be quiet and more of a listener. I feel drown out by them. Like a sounding board for their voice. I don't matter or count. When I'm with someone who authentically listens, which is rare, I talk more and share more. Men are confusing because they will listen to you in order to have sex. When they get what they want they show a different personality. So I can only share my observations when I'm with women.

What is your observation? Am I terribly wrong?

I'm sorry....what did you say? I was thinking about your tits.

(in reply to CarolineLA)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/13/2014 5:06:09 PM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

Lookie, you are always thinking about our tits...

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/13/2014 5:42:01 PM

kdsub

Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline

You must say something interesting for men to pay attention. Remember men and women mostly have different interests... outside of sex. You did get me thinking... outside of women in my family I can't think of the last conversation that lasted more than a few minutes with a women...at least that was not about sex or trying to get sex. How many women do you know that want to talk about politics...sports... toys like guns, trucks and the latest power tools?

I think it is best to compare women to women and men to men when it comes to carrying on conversations that truly interest them both.

Butch the caveman

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to CarolineLA)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/13/2014 5:49:59 PM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

I listen when I can...but my mind will wander off. This drives Mom up the wall, especially if we are trying to get the grocery list ready (must include marshmallows)

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to kdsub)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/13/2014 7:06:26 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

Lookie, you are always thinking about our tits...

It's a living.

(in reply to ShaharThorne)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening - 2/14/2014 11:25:57 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

You must say something interesting for men to pay attention. Remember men and women mostly have different interests... outside of sex. You did get me thinking... outside of women in my family I can't think of the last conversation that lasted more than a few minutes with a women...at least that was not about sex or trying to get sex. How many women do you know that want to talk about politics...sports... toys like guns, trucks and the latest power tools?

I keep trying to talk politics with you, but you're not listening