Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Are you still friends with any of your exes?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Are you still friends with any of your exes? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/15/2014 7:58:12 PM   
smileforme50


Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline 		Why or why not?

If you are.....does your current partner have a problem with it? Would you have a problem if your current partner was still friends with any of his or her exes?

I was at a party tonight and a few couples got into a very lively discussion about this topic.

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/15/2014 8:05:11 PM   
SorceressJ


Posts: 2968
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline 		My husband is still very good friends with his first wife who was the mother of his two oldest children, now adults in their 20's. I am close enough to this woman, her new husband, and her sister and sister's husband to consider the lot of them family. We have Xmas and Thanksgivings together. Not only that, we live next door to each other on land we purchased together. We are all having Sunday breakfast together tomorrow morning, as we do every week.
True story. This is an extremely unlikely scenario for which I am consistently grateful.
My ex lives far away, and is not in the picture. I'm grateful for that part, too.

_____________________________

‎Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. <93>)O(

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/15/2014 8:07:46 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		We have children together...we continued to raise our kids with a united front which meant constant communication. After the sting of divorce wore off we became friends again.

There is nothing for anyone to be jealous about in a stable trusting relationship ...so no problems.

Butch

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/15/2014 8:13:15 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		No. And I know there are certain annoying posters who think there is something wrong with you if you are not friends with exes. There isn't a thing wrong with not staying friends if there is no friendship after love.

I am not friends with them for varying reasons.

Ex-husband. Stayed best friends after divorce until we both met other people. Both my guy and his girl were jealous of our friendship and made trouble. He caved in to her, while I refused, but he deferred to her. I would have stayed friends with him always.

Recent ex. He treated me badly for a long time and I hate him. Why would I be friends with that?

All other exes, we stayed in touch but they always wanted more or to get back together or to hook up, and it became a pain to stay friends.


(in reply to SorceressJ)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/15/2014 8:13:25 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		Funny this topic is being discussed as I got a visit this week from an ex dom of mine.

It was good to see him but he did try a few moves on me to see what my responses would be. I didn't go for it as we broke up for a reason and it still hasn't changed. I think exes sometime just want to see if they can still get in your pants.

But I see it as possible for exes to be friends. It just may cause some complications.

_____________________________

I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/15/2014 8:13:56 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Yes.
Most of them in fact. With the exceptions: A-hole who cheated on me with his roommate, and the boy who just couldn't hang with me, he really wasn't compatible and I tore him apart like tissue paper (I was horrible unhappy person at 19). I'm close friends with two or three, acquaintances and civil with everyone else. I'm a no muss no fuss kinda gal, I hate drama and prefer to approach break ups tactfully, politely, and in a way that leaves all parties with their dignity intact. It goes back to a previous thread actually, I've always preferred my life to my relationship, if it doesn't work out- it wasn't meant to be- and I can understand that coming from someone else as well.

Because I'm just like that. Most of them started out as friends, and moved to more, no sense in moving to nothing just because we didn't work out.
My current partner is fine with me being friends with them, and vice versa.

We trust eachother.
If either of us wanted to cheat, we'd end the relationship, or discuss the possibility of adding another person(s) to it.

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/15/2014 8:26:05 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I don't have many x's but I was friends with them until we eventually lost touch.  The most recent x still attempts to do me, so while I still like to think we are close, I think it is more "opportunity" than friendship

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/15/2014 8:35:39 PM   
joybaby


Posts: 82
Joined: 10/21/2004
Status: offline 		I'm good friends with my ex husband, and i actually love him more now than i did when we were married, but it is a different kind of love. I care for him enough that the way his girlfriend treats him angers me…he deserves so much better. I really love their little boy, and i'm glad they trust me enough to let me take him places, like to the fair for the day. I totally understand when people aren't able to be friends with exes…but mine is an amazing person, one of the best people i know, so it's easy.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/15/2014 8:48:41 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		The very first girl to ever rip my heart out and stomp that sucker flat is a Facebook friend.

Another is one of my dearest friends on the planet.

There is one I would call the police on if she showed up at my house.

There is another I would set the dogs on, before calling the cops.

The rest, I haven't thought of or connected with in any way in years.

No lawyers were involved in the termination of any of those relationships.

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/15/2014 9:10:54 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		I'm Facebook friends with one, who lives a country away. We had a amicable split.

I have another one who's new girlfriend friended me on Facebook. Every once in a while she sends me batshit crazy rants about how I shouldn't be looking at her man.

I don't know when I'm looking at him, he lives in another state, and I don't think he has a FB.

The others I have lost contact with for the most part.

_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to TheHeretic)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/15/2014 9:28:32 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		Depends. My last 'ex' and I didn't really get deep enough into the relationship to develop any hard feelings. As a matter of fact, I ran into her the other day and we had a nice chat. The one prior to that I could care less about. I won't even wish her ill because that means I have any feelings left. Other than that, the others (including my daughter's mother), have generally been on civil terms.

< Message edited by MasterCaneman -- 2/15/2014 9:29:35 PM >

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/15/2014 9:37:12 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Nope. Not a one. I have no desire to be friends with any of them. But I also have no problems with talking to any of them. I'm completely indifferent to them. I have no feelings towards them one way or the other. I don't hate or like them. They are just...nothing at all to me. Don't even ever give them a second thought. To be honest, some of them I don't even remember their names and I've lost touch with every single one of them.

Master never cares who I talk to. The way we both look at it is this....if I want to leave for someone else, I'm free to go. He's not going to hold me back. Why would he want someone around who wants someone else? And vice versa for him from me as well. If you love someone, someone else should not be able to "steal" you away. Otherwise, imo, you never loved them to begin with.


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 2/15/2014 9:39:35 PM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to MasterCaneman)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/15/2014 9:44:23 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		Let's see...my ex-husband? Not in this lifetime but I put on the act for the kids' benefit..
My first master/Dom...yeah we stayed friends and THAT got me in a huge amount of trouble. I think it is harder when you have had the hierarchy type of involvement. Even after we were both involved with others, I still felt a certain loyalty to him and leaned on him too much and he was not too thrilled when I was following somebody else's orders.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/16/2014 12:25:50 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		I only really have one ex, and there was no need for us to stay in touch - we were young so no shared property, no kids, no real mutual friends. And there was no friendship left to salvage. At the time I very deliberately severed all contact because she was a fan of emotional manipulation. That's no longer a concern but our paths have never crossed again.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/16/2014 12:47:30 AM   
thezeppo


Posts: 441
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline 		Yes, I'm still close with my college girlfriend 10 years later. Also my most recent ex still talks to me; despite some misgivings, I'm going to try to get her a job where I work after half-term. The rest are acquaintances, I am friendly when I bump into them - with varying degrees of enthusiasm of course. I think there is only one ex I would hide from/ignore.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/16/2014 2:25:31 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		the father of my son; no. he's caused me, and my son (and continues to with my son) too much trouble instead of doing the right thing. we also have nothing in common any more other than animals. he was a good man in a lot of ways, but that didn't make him a good partner, or father.

I have no reason not to talk to any of my other ex's, other than one. he cheated on me, and i have seen him a few times, but i don't think he has the guts to talk to me. a boyfriend from school contacted me through facebook. we were kids that lived around the corner from each other, so it was nice to have a quick catch up. other then that i don't see any of my ex's any more.

i did have one ex, my first real boyfriend, that i was very good friends with for years. we gave each other birthday cards, and such as well as staying very good friends with his parents. he even came to my house to visit when with my son's dad, and all was cool. then one day i saw him crossing a car park with a new girl friend, and he completely ignored me. he had looked straight at me, and i waved and spoke to him. You only get to do that to me once. i spoke to his mum about it when i next saw her. she didn't like this new girlfriend, and said it didn't surprise her that he'd done that. i haven't seen him since.

i don't have an issue with ex's from my POV. ex's are that for a reason. i think being friends with your ex's is cool if you can be, so long as you have both moved on from the relationship. what i don't like is when the friend is put above me. at the start of a relationship it would be understandable. friends are friends, and are there when relationships break down. however, there has to come a point where i am more important than his friends, no matter what sex they are. it's ok having an ex as your friend, but if she hasn't moved on and is using this friendship as a way of holding on to him then that is not healthy. i have seen it with a friend and her boyfriend. he just couldn't see that his ex actually hadn't moved on past the gf stage, and was actually interfering in his new relationship. my friend split with him in the end because he thought she was the one being a bitch about it. she really wasn't, but he couldn't see that his ex was doing stuff to cause trouble. it can be dodgy ground, and i can understand why some will feel insecure about having an ex about.

needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to thezeppo)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/16/2014 5:09:08 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I always had relationships that lasted quite a while, there was a reason why I liked them in the first place enough to get involved with them, so usually after the split (and a bit of time had gone) we drifted into a friendship. If you know each other really well, it's kind of easy. With one of them I don't want to have any contact anymore, too much had happened and I hope I'll always have too much pride to be seen as a cash cow. With another one the woman he married hates my guts, when we met (living continents away now, so not like we run into each other all the time) it was such a pathetic cloak and dagger thing, she tracks him with the GPS on his mobile, so he had a friend running around a shopping center with his mobile and picking out a present for her, just so we could have a cup of coffee together and catch up. I found it so ridiculous that even when I find myself in the same city, I don't bother. Oddly enough before she went a bit psycho he was also friends with my other half...

It's with some you stay in touch and get on, with others life kinda pushes you in different directions, then there's always the one you really really don't want near you, because he's toxic.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to needlesandpins)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/16/2014 5:50:17 AM   
Runningkc


Posts: 51
Joined: 2/15/2010
Status: offline 		My most recent ex and I split in October. He did some truly horrible things to me, but he isn't a horrible person. I care about him in a "I want what's best for you" way. We are still trying to tie up some loose ends with our business, and my house. Once everything is finished, I doubt we stay friends, but I hope we keep our mutual respect for each other.

I didn't have any serious relationships before him.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/16/2014 7:02:30 AM   
AlexisANew


Posts: 103
Joined: 2/10/2014
Status: offline 		I am very good friends with my long term ex partner and father to my second son. In the summer we all BBQ together and we often phone one another for a chat. I'm also good friends with my ex, who I was in a live in relationship for four years. With both these partners we had a huge amount in common and we had some very happy times together, we just weren't meant to be lovers.

My husband isn't at all jealous or disturbed by my fondness for both these men. He will happily sit and have a beer with them and he's worked with one of them. He was initially a little surprised when I didn't curse and tell him what bastards my exes were. If they had been bastards I would of had good reason to moan but they weren't, so I don't :)

(in reply to Runningkc)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Are you still friends with any of your exes? - 2/16/2014 8:00:34 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		My sons' father and I divorced in 1990, and we still maintain a civil and mostly friendly relationship for that reason only, that we share children, in-laws, and now grandchildren.

I've not had many serious relationships in my lifetime because I tend to be really careful about who I open my heart and soul to. I've opened them a few other times and gotten pretty burned by their douchebaggery behavior, and I maintain no contact, let alone any kind of friendship with any of them, because why would you want to be friends with a douchebag when there are so many good, respectful people out in the world?

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to AlexisANew)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Are you still friends with any of your exes? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109