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First beating - 2/19/2014 8:38:28 AM

slavejohn1234

Posts: 23
Joined: 4/1/2008
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I still dream of being taught what the cane is REALLY about by a dominant woman.
I feel very much urged to ask her to ignore my cries and to take me to the level
she sees fit. I guess I am dreaming of a make or break experience.
Am I doing the right thing or will I be put off for ever?

Post #: 1

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 8:41:51 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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Fantasies do not always translate to good real life experiences.

Fantasizing about pain is quite different than experiencing it.

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Post #: 2

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 9:11:27 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
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I am a masochist and I know that pain tolerance is a variable thing. I've been doing this for many years and even now I can't always predict whether my urge to experience pain meets up with my pain tolerance.

My advice would be to use this first beating as a kind of measure, to see how you react and to assess how you react to the level of pain she gives. And above all, don't be afraid to use your safeword if things get too much. Once you and she know each other a LOT better, then you can do the 'beat me as much as you want and ignore my demands please' thing. You're nowhere near ready for that yet and neither is she.

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Post #: 3

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 9:42:37 AM

shadowborn61

Posts: 143
Joined: 11/5/2013
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I have a love hate relationship with canes. Once i am "in the zone" so to speak then the cane elevates the intensity and allows me to go even deeper into sub space and afterwards those lovely marks remind me for days of the intimacy i have shared.
I can be a total pain slut with a good warm up and will enjoy the whole experience and want more not long after the marks fade.
I hate the cane as a punishment when used with no warm up and i know it is for displeasing my Dominant.

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 4

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 9:57:16 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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I have several years of experience and am capable of judging just how much a bottom can take and push her to exactly that point, but only if I've topped her before. I would never do that with someone I'm topping for the first time, let alone someone new to impact play. No decent top would do what you described with a first timer.

Scale back your expectations and acknowledge that it will take a while to get what you want.

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Post #: 5

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 10:22:43 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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FR

I got caned too much by my own parents growing up, and also got too many public canings in schools that I hate the cane!

But I certainly prefer belts or whips.

Anyway, whatever rocks your boat. Technically, cane isn't that bad. If a 8 yr old me can take it, you can take it. I mean, the kind of caning the kids get here growing up are those that leave marks.

The thinner the more painful. Schools here have like the whole range, from thin to thick.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 2/19/2014 10:26:39 AM >

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Post #: 6

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 11:01:34 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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FR

I would recommend that you ask her to dish out 10 of her best, 10 is a good number, not that many that you freak out and see no end, but enough to make quite an "impact", after that you talk to her if you think you could have taken more, if you like to be pushed next time...

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Post #: 7

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 11:38:21 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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Anyway, I would assume most domme would proceed like doms. Start gentle, move it up to harder, and they observe and sense how much the sub can take.
I don't know why this is a big deal. Plus with safe words, everything will be fine.
In my case, I even have a "too much pressure" safe word, which will prompt the dom to dial down on the pain level.
That would make sure you won't hate it forever after.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 8

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 12:48:21 PM

bbottom37914

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/8/2014
Status: offline

if you Love the person the pain will feel like sex it does for me !!!!!

(in reply to slavejohn1234)

Post #: 9

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 12:57:29 PM

slavejohn1234

Posts: 23
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline

hank you all for your carefully considered replies. I am most grateful.
John London UK

(in reply to slavejohn1234)

Post #: 10

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 1:14:32 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejohn1234

I still dream of being taught what the cane is REALLY about by a dominant woman.
I feel very much urged to ask her to ignore my cries and to take me to the level
she sees fit. I guess I am dreaming of a make or break experience.
Am I doing the right thing or will I be put off for ever?

Be careful what you ask for-in the hands of an amateur a cane can really fuck you up.
As in,I used to own a pro-sub and she wouldn't let people use canes on her. They all "thought" they knew what they were doing. Two bad experiences and she had a new pro hard limit.
And I'm saying this is a guy who's given rhythmic caning demos.

Canes can be lovely.
They can massage, roll muscles out. They can also be used for either surface or depth impact play depending on how they're wielded.

Don't start with a cane.Get a nice flogging instead.
Crawl before walk. Walk before run. Run before sprint

< Message edited by Kana -- 2/19/2014 1:15:34 PM >

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Post #: 11

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 1:18:07 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

I'm not receiving, but seriously, in a sort of "Taliban captured me and I am forced to make a choice between whips and cane" situation, I would possibly pick the cane, while somebody can do real damage, it's easier to aim than a whip... On the other hand, if somebody is an idiot with a whip, you always have the faint hope that they might take their own eye out first...

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Those who do and those who don't!

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Post #: 12

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 1:20:57 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

John. If I recall correctly, the members of this forum have told you the same thing on a number of occasions before.

You don't want to go out to the London community and you don't want to pay a pro. Until you are ready to put some effort into your endeavors, your fantasies will remain exactly that....... Fantasies. Start conjugating the verb "to do". Like all verbs, it's an action word.

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Post #: 13

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 3:18:11 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

You have zero experience.
You don't even know if you could take a simple hand spanking.

And now you're fantasizing about being beaten and having your safeword ignored.

Time to stop watching porn.

_____________________________

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Cynical and proud of it!

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Post #: 14

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 8:22:50 PM

BouncyBoo

Posts: 68
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline

FR - As most everyone else has said, that is a very bad idea, no matter how much the thought is getting you off at home.

Personally, my pain desire and tolerance both vary wildly, and I do not always know where either are until a point is reached. In impact play, especially with someone new to you, always have some sort of safeword. I feel silly saying random words but a quick pause (if I need a break) or stop (can't take it anymore) should be something you are free and comfortable saying. Further, those words should always be followed with someone new. They don't know you and if they do not stop serious mental or physical harm could come to you.

Finally, anyone willing to do something like that as a first form of play is not someone I would personally trust near me with an implement.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 15

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 8:28:15 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

John. If I recall correctly, the members of this forum have told you the same thing on a number of occasions before.

You don't want to go out to the London community and you don't want to pay a pro. Until you are ready to put some effort into your endeavors, your fantasies will remain exactly that....... Fantasies. Start conjugating the verb "to do". Like all verbs, it's an action word.

LOL LadyPact! 6 YEARS later? How hilarious when a sub is on a perpetual search. I really do laugh. :)

_____________________________

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Post #: 16

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 8:39:44 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
LOL LadyPact! 6 YEARS later? How hilarious when a sub is on a perpetual search. I really do laugh. :)

If you check the other threads originated under the nick, you'll find a very obvious pattern.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 17

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 9:02:11 PM

MisterP61

Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BouncyBoo

FR - As most everyone else has said, that is a very bad idea, no matter how much the thought is getting you off at home.

Personally, my pain desire and tolerance both vary wildly, and I do not always know where either are until a point is reached. In impact play, especially with someone new to you, always have some sort of safeword. I feel silly saying random words but a quick pause (if I need a break) or stop (can't take it anymore) should be something you are free and comfortable saying. Further, those words should always be followed with someone new. They don't know you and if they do not stop serious mental or physical harm could come to you.

Finally, anyone willing to do something like that as a first form of play is not someone I would personally trust near me with an implement.

True true true. The converse is also the same. I wouldn't let any of My implements anywhere near a submissive who would ask for this the first time W/we played.

_____________________________

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(in reply to BouncyBoo)

Post #: 18

RE: First beating - 2/19/2014 9:47:40 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
You have zero experience.
You don't even know if you could take a simple hand spanking.

Wow! Where is this information? I have not looked at his profile!
No wonder I am finding this question so strange! It's just a cane! Yet his making such a big deal out of it! Anyway, to OP, just tell whoever you find to do it, to do it gently! No dramas. End of the day, how pain you want to feel from it, is totally within control, it's just about pressure.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 19

RE: First beating - 2/20/2014 8:34:40 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Greta, I know you received corporal punishment in school and therefore are used to beatings that many of us never have been.
But many of us were never hit when young.

The first time I was spanked was at age 48. It is not something that ever happened to me against my will. Even now, 11 years later, it has always been done for pleasure.

Many of us do not use punishment for behavior modification. And indeed here, doing this to a minor would involve legal consequences.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 20

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