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My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 10:38:52 AM

JohnyWalker

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/30/2013
Status: offline

I absolutely hate When a profile directly says send well thought message more than one or two sentences or be deleted.
And then you will get excited because what we are seeking is practically the exact same. So I send a 2 to 3 paragraph letter explained who I was, what I sought, vanilla interest in dating and a brief interest in kinks. Also to attach one photo I attached 4.

And no reply......

If it would of been delete unread fine life sucks
But don't ask for a special message and not give an "not interested" atleast.
And Dommes on here wonder why so many subs don't send more than 2 or 3 sentences... It's due to the lack of respect and appreciation.
No Domme owns me, so there should be mutual respect till a D/s relationship establishes.

Granted a sub should never lose control or composer to a Domme no matter what...

Post #: 1

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 10:45:00 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

The problem is your profile. Your opening line is a huge STOP sign. I know I'm beating a dead horse here, but you have to seduce the mind and the body will follow.

We appeal to women through the ears (write), not the eyes (visuals or bad pics). You need to offer, up front in your profile, the substance that is you. You're blackmail FinDom stuff has a good place in a journal, but not in the body of your profile.

Again, your profile says what you don't want, but offers little of what you're offering.

Jus sayin
Exiled

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to JohnyWalker)

Post #: 2

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 10:45:55 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

Honestly, in this case, I kind of see OP's point. But eh, shit happens...I get chat requests ONLY from subs who never even send me an email, and yea, it ticks me off.
Maybe she just gets way too many emails or something in your profile put her off.
It really could be any number of reasons why she didn't reply including it escaped her memory as her inbox became flooded and you went from page one to page two, or maybe she was preoccupied and planned to do it later.
But just because one Domme doesn't apply effort or leaves you in limbo doesn't mean that you as a sub should feel like you can just be rude or not adhere to another Domme's explicit request.
It really makes you look like an extremely poor candidate at at the end YOU're the one who loses, not her.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to JohnyWalker)

Post #: 3

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 10:54:18 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnyWalker

I absolutely hate When a profile directly says send well thought message more than one or two sentences or be deleted.
And then you will get excited because what we are seeking is practically the exact same. So I send a 2 to 3 paragraph letter explained who I was, what I sought, vanilla interest in dating and a brief interest in kinks. Also to attach one photo I attached 4.

And no reply......

If it would of been delete unread fine life sucks
But don't ask for a special message and not give an "not interested" atleast.
And Dommes on here wonder why so many subs don't send more than 2 or 3 sentences... It's due to the lack of respect and appreciation.
No Domme owns me, so there should be mutual respect till a D/s relationship establishes.

Granted a sub should never lose control or composer to a Domme no matter what...

This post seems like a bit much to me. Why are you getting emotionally invested in a profile? It could be written by a man, or by a woman who has no intention of ever meeting with anyone in real life. You have no way to know why she isn't writing you back. Maybe her son is in the hospital; maybe she started dating some guy off CM and doesn't want to answer any mail until she knows how serious this new thing is going to be.

You are taking personally a decision that is probably completely impersonal, and has nothing to do with you.

Despite that, I'll say this. Your, um, enthusiasm sounds totally over the top to me, and halfway to Stalkerville. That alone might put women off. She wants one photo? Send one. Write an email that is two tight paragraphs at the most, not an in-depth three paragraphs. And don't give a flying fuck if you never hear back.

100% for real guarantee: the less you care, the more likely you are to get a response. It sounds crazy, and it's "unfair," but it's really really true.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to JohnyWalker)

Post #: 4

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 10:55:49 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

I see Exile's point, if I would see that as a first thing, it would strike me as negative, I mean why bring up a negative as first impression? You will appear as somebody who's quite argumentative. Also use a bunch of line breaks, don't focus so much on all the stuff you want and so, say you gladly would tell her more about it, if she's interested, and give a bit more info about you in general, just stuff you like. Your kinks are your kinks, but you want people to see you as a person first, not to somebody who just has a bunch of kinks.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 5

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 11:11:18 AM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

This is like, what came first, the chicken or the egg?

We can try to figure it out and might hit the right answer and then some... SOME domina or submissive is going to blow the theory right out of the friggin laboratory.

The ways we all try to manage here are our own and who knows why people do what they do, but they do it, so it is what it is. Our next expectation... I would think... being adult beings is to figure out how WE are going to handle it. Will we get mad? Will we laugh? Will we bash everyone in sight because they look like that other guy/gal?

Throughout the years I have changed my profile about once, maybe twice a year. Sometimes make stiffer rules because ya know... some are stiff and stupid. Then I think of the nice one's that may be stiff, but aren't stupid and I ease up a bit. Still being who I am... tough and soft... I have learned, you can't please all the people and they sure as fuck can't please you.

So I spell it out. My profile and journal are one. You care to know me, read both. Send me email that isn't funny or an intelligent one liner and I don't have to respond. You send me paragraphs of bull shit that I cover in my profile or first two pages of my journal and I have no obligation to respond. You may have missed a vital ingredient in getting a response from me.

Then again... even my friends wait on me... while I work, do life... take breaks from it all and post on the forums and just keep my lil ol brain from farting. I do what I need to do... not what others need me to do. Now, friends... if they want to reach out and have me available most times, can get my messenger or phone number. If you don't have that or want it... and don't ask for it... then I figure you don't want total access. New people to me... get in line right after everything and everyone else, until they make a mark of some sort that gets my attention.

I may be sick, I may be just resting, I may be just a bitch... but it is what it is. People can get mad or they can accept me the way I am. Some know me as that tough old broad that cusses a lot and seems to make it hard for anyone to get close and then some know me as someone that cares deeply and will do a lot for people. Am I two people? No... I just am what I am and most have found that a need other than sexual or funny things, are what I respond to. Just reading my journal will tell you, I am laughing my ass off around here and commenting on fools or am enjoying my life and challenges. Comment on them, even disagree... all good. Try to get kinky, sexual, assume something, try too hard to impress me and ignore what I have said and you just may be ignored, blocked, reported, laughed at or reminded of how stupid I think you are.

It is what it is...

My pet peeve? Why aren't all these single guys, doing well and wanting to share with me because they love me? WTF? I mean... come on... I'm a catch!

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 6

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 11:11:48 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

I'm with Exiled. The OP's profile is a pile of red flags. Unbroken wall-o-text, two references to being anti-findom/blackmail, trust issues, and he is clearly not yet comfortable in his kink. Plus, the kinks he mentions in his profile (as opposed to his interests list) are ones that many woman have little to no interest in and/or will only do on occasion with a trusted partner.

There's no mention of what he brings to the table, other than a military background, which supposedly makes him good at taking orders. No mention of what he's looking for in a relationship, but he wants mail from "everyone," indicating he doesn't care who writes as long as the person has his preferred set of genitalia. Sorry, OP, I wouldn't write you back either.

The AAMistress FAQ has links to threads to help you with your profile and first email. I strongly recommend you read them and use the advice to revamp yours.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 7

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 11:43:07 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnyWalker

I absolutely hate When a profile directly says send well thought message more than one or two sentences or be deleted.
And then you will get excited because what we are seeking is practically the exact same. So I send a 2 to 3 paragraph letter explained who I was, what I sought, vanilla interest in dating and a brief interest in kinks. Also to attach one photo I attached 4.

And no reply......

If it would of been delete unread fine life sucks
But don't ask for a special message and not give an "not interested" atleast.
And Dommes on here wonder why so many subs don't send more than 2 or 3 sentences... It's due to the lack of respect and appreciation.
No Domme owns me, so there should be mutual respect till a D/s relationship establishes.

Granted a sub should never lose control or composer to a Domme no matter what...

A lot of women here don't reply because of how the men respond to rejection. So, feel free to lay the blame at the feet of the people of your sex on this site that have taught the women here that it's better to not reply than to say "No, thank you".

And judging from the fact that you feel the need to come here and complain about it........

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JohnyWalker)

Post #: 8

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 12:15:46 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

A lot of women here don't reply because of how the men respond to rejection. So, feel free to lay the blame at the feet of the people of your sex on this site that have taught the women here that it's better to not reply than to say "No, thank you".

And judging from the fact that you feel the need to come here and complain about it........

But what about respect???? Surely he's owed an answer!!

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 9

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 12:49:36 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

A lot of women here don't reply because of how the men respond to rejection. So, feel free to lay the blame at the feet of the people of your sex on this site that have taught the women here that it's better to not reply than to say "No, thank you".

And judging from the fact that you feel the need to come here and complain about it........

But what about respect???? Surely he's owed an answer!!

Sure, if he replies to every bit of unsolicited mail that ends up in his mail box, then he is owed an answer...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 10

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 12:52:34 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

R_E_C_P_E_S_T; find out what that means to me!!!

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 11

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 1:07:16 PM

JohnyWalker

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/30/2013
Status: offline

Ok 3 points

1) this came out to be a good thing y'all have given vary good points about my profile, I'll be fixing that shortly
Thankyou for the constructive criticism in all seriousness.

2)to the post about rejection and coming here to complain about it, I never back lash at any Dommes so please don't assume. And I posted it here to vent and turned out good with criticism I avoided disrespecting any direct parties involved. But I see you're point with other Douchbag male submissives. Never thought about that side when I posted this.

3)I was not emotionally invested in one profile it was the build up of all the messages in the last 3 years that went the same way. And today I just happened to literally put my all in it and wrote the best message thought I ever wrote to a Domme. I even went through the forms and took advice from a few of you actually who posted on another thread about gaining attention in message.

(Just gonna put it out there she never viewed my profile, may of not been the problem with her)

But y'all's criticism of my profile probably speaks for 90% of the others...
VALID POINTS THANKYOU LADIES... AND GENT

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 12

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 1:36:19 PM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

A lot of women here don't reply because of how the men respond to rejection. So, feel free to lay the blame at the feet of the people of your sex on this site that have taught the women here that it's better to not reply than to say "No, thank you".

And judging from the fact that you feel the need to come here and complain about it........

But what about respect???? Surely he's owed an answer!!

But..But..But... No answer IS an answer!
It means "Not interested", "fuck off", "Don't wanna know".

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 13

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 1:44:36 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

The OP has been respectful with his response to some tough responses, in not only this thread, but another. Maybe we could give him a break and not slam dunk him because of all those other meat heads.

A guy that comes in clueless that remains clueless... eat him within tos.

A guy that takes what is said and puts it to use, even if he was clueless... why not hold off on that feast... desert may be that someone actually gets something out of the forum and us. No need to ride his ass... well, unless that's a different topic and done off forum.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Post #: 14

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 1:48:48 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnyWalker
But I see you're point with other Douchbag male submissives. Never thought about that side when I posted this.

Not just male submissives. You should see some of the things women get in response to a polite no thank you. We get sworn at, called names, called fat, called ugly, etc. all because we had the gall to give a polite "no, thank you".

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JohnyWalker)

Post #: 15

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 2:10:19 PM

MsMJAY

Posts: 515
Joined: 3/17/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnyWalker
But I see you're point with other Douchbag male submissives. Never thought about that side when I posted this.

Not just male submissives. You should see some of the things women get in response to a polite no thank you. We get sworn at, called names, called fat, called ugly, etc. all because we had the gall to give a polite "no, thank you".

Yes we get called all of that and more by "submissive" men who "love and worship women" and only live to "serve us." Just imagine what they would call us if they hated women?

_____________________________

"The higher; the fewer."
It's not impossible. It's I'm possible

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 16

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 2:12:18 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

LOL... If they hated women?

They do... they also hate themselves.

(in reply to MsMJAY)

Post #: 17

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 2:20:22 PM

JohnyWalker

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/30/2013
Status: offline

So here are the two messages I sent, this is the first time I've ever sent a second to an ignored message before you criticize me for that.
Y'all have proven yourselves over and over again that my introductory or approaching skills are pretty bad. So criticize these, but since I voluntarily am showing y'all what I presume are mistakes. Please don't tear me apart. Constructive criticism or points of view are all I'm looking for

Hey good morning Miss, so I read every bit of you're profile and there's not one thing disagree with and completely want a Female Led LTR. I know we are a good min away, but I also noticed you listed "willing to relocate" as do I. So if we got to know each other and wanted to pursue this then I would make it work. So I'm a I'm a Marine, I'm currently about to get my real estate license in 2 weeks (also makes me able to relocate easier if need be), I'm looking for a dominant partner who I can trust completely give up all control to. Like you I want what happens behind close doors stays behind close doors. But in public I would still show utmost respect. I believe in female superiors so I would never top from the bottom. Vanilla interest are most outdoor activities or anything that gets my adrenaline going. I've been told lately an a creative art side of me has been coming out. I want to live by the beach one day, and traveling if say is my passion. Only hard limits are findom/ tributes (I can spoil but until a mutual trust is created and met in person) Kinks? I just like pure submission and a constant sign of dominance over me by the woman I'm serving. I'm pretty assertive to friends. So I'm not a doormat just submissive to my owner and for whoever she wants me to be to. I have fantasies of chastity for orgasm control. And have fantasized about forced fem but never acted on it. I hope I covered most things and hear back from you soon! And I've never spent this much time on an into message to a Domme so if you aren't interested please atleast message to tell me that. At the very least I'd love to just chat and get to know you even if you don't see us going anywhere. I think you're amazingly gorgeous and hope to hear back soon!!

I'm sorry to message again but seriously you directly ask for a wealth thought message and I get that you probably weren't interested but a reply back goes along way. Most subs on here send one or two sentence messages because they don't even get a response back. Again sorry and hope you find what you are looking for, I was just looking forward to hearing from you

(in reply to MsMJAY)

Post #: 18

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 2:21:05 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Sure, if he replies to every bit of unsolicited mail that ends up in his mail box, then he is owed an answer...

Even then, no he's not. No one here is owed a damn thing.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 19

RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 2:38:30 PM

JohnyWalker

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/30/2013
Status: offline

Made a quick adjust to my profile it's not near perfect but it has to be better than the last one I think

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 20

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