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ORIGINAL: MsGypsey

From another angle... let's say you're 3-4 years on and the time comes for you to relocate for your career. In that time you've met someone, you discussed early on the possibility of you having to move and you both decide to give it a go. Now, let's say she was doing quite well in her career during those three years. What should she do? Thing is, you will have a decision to make where one of you may have to give something up one way or another. But at least you both know going in, that the moment would come.

I chose love over career once and that didn't work for me. I moved to a place I didn't really like, the move limited my career opportunities, which then made me even more dissatisfied not only with myself, but in my relationship. If I could go back to that time, I'd tell my younger self to stay where I was and try to make a long-distance relationship work instead until one of us was absolutely ready to move. Or not. But that's just me and my own experience.

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ORIGINAL: mummyman321

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ORIGINAL: MsGypsey

From another angle... let's say you're 3-4 years on and the time comes for you to relocate for your career. In that time you've met someone, you discussed early on the possibility of you having to move and you both decide to give it a go. Now, let's say she was doing quite well in her career during those three years. What should she do? Thing is, you will have a decision to make where one of you may have to give something up one way or another. But at least you both know going in, that the moment would come.

I chose love over career once and that didn't work for me. I moved to a place I didn't really like, the move limited my career opportunities, which then made me even more dissatisfied not only with myself, but in my relationship. If I could go back to that time, I'd tell my younger self to stay where I was and try to make a long-distance relationship work instead until one of us was absolutely ready to move. Or not. But that's just me and my own experience.

That is a real reality for some people that happens all the time. There are many jobs that require travel/relocation. When I was married, I made a point of talking to my wife about possibly scenario's. Not once but on a regular basis. And as time went on we would change our decision. First she was okay to travel and give up her career. Then as her mother became ill, she was no longer okay to travel. So family, career, love all come into play in making a decision.

I think the key thing that worked for us, and would help others as well, was being open and talking a lot about it often. We both had successful careers and family (Elderly parents) that changed how we answered the question at different points in our relationship/careers. But we were always honest with each other so we could plan.

Now after my wife had passed this changed my outlook. What I wanted I was not able to find locally. So I found someone in one of my travel locations. My company had asked I take a temporary assignment to that area for work and so I agreed. I started the relationship knowing it might not last. I am a year into it and very happy. I cannot tell you how happy I am. I also know that this time next year I will most likely need to make a decision as my assignment will be up next year. I will have to make that decision of career versus love again. But I think the fact that my Lady and I talk about it on a regular basis will help the decision process and it will be a joint decision.

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ORIGINAL: OvidInDallas

This isn't a question limited to D/s but it's something that I've been thinking about for several hours after a comment by someone I respect:

Does it show a lack of commitment to creating a F/m relationship if you have career plans that could involve an international relocation in 3-4 years? Especially if you are currently single and looking. Should the male potentially limit his career in the hopes of finding a FLR and does a FLR automatically mean that the male's career should take the backseat?

I hadn't thought about this in terms of the D/s dynamic because in the past I have always discussed career moves and such with my partner when I was in a relationship and made decisions based on those factors. I've honestly never considered making career plans based on the potential those plans might have on a non-existent relationship that might appear before a decision needs to be made.

I guess a simpler question is: would you take a gamble on a relationship with a guy if there was a chance he might have to move in 3-4 years? Would him telling you that there was a potential that he might move signal that he wasn't serious about relationships? I'm not sure what the right answer is or if there even is a right answer but it is an interesting question to me.