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Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 9:07:06 AM   
AlphaFemsRule


Posts: 52
Joined: 1/7/2014
Status: offline 		It seems this is a common descriptor when it comes to the personalities of dominant women. They're called "masculine" or, less flatteringly, bitches / ball-busters, etc.

True for you as well?
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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 9:17:50 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Oh, I'm sure there have been some folks who have thought I was a bitch a time or two, but I don't get referred to as masculine. Then again, I've been known to tell some men that I've got bigger balls than they do.


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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 9:34:31 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I can honestly say nobody ever referred to me as masculine, despite the fact that I tend to wear a lot of jeans and men's sweaters, must be the longish hair ;)

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 9:37:40 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Oh, I'm sure there have been some folks who have thought I was a bitch a time or two, but I don't get referred to as masculine. Then again, I've been known to tell some men that I've got bigger balls than they do.



It's all lies and false propaganda LP. If you were a man, you'd have 4 of them, not necessarily bigger, just two more than everyone else.

Jus sayin
Exiled

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 9:47:46 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		My default personality is fairly masculine, I'm a blunt, take charge, rather assertive person. Certainly I have a very analytical mind, which many view as masculine.

Fortunately I was blessed with a very feminine appearance.

The longer I'm with Himself, the more my softer side comes out to play in public settings. This makes me a more well rounded individual and I consider that a good thing.

As for being a ball buster, I have to plead guilty.

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 9:53:13 AM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline 		Honestly I "freak out" men in the business world. They totally and completely DO NOT LIKE ME, and it can be something as really small and simple as having a more informed opinion on any given topic.
Especially if said individual is a seasoned investor. I think sexism is still extremely prevalent and it's not a "feminist bitchy phobia". Look at how many female presidents we've had...oh, zero.
I think a large part of men, and even subs fight for that "feeling of superiority", especially over the often perceived weaker sex in one arena or the other or their entire existence is extremely threatened so they use labels.
Years ago, my mom told me "stop thinking so much, you'll scare off the men." So this sentiment is not exclusive to the male gender however. Despite that, my mother is an investment dynamo on her own (usually, she should take my advice more).
I think the way a "take charge woman" is viewed is still a societal issue but we also have women who corner themselves into what they believe the status quo of "acceptable femininity" is.
Let's face it, we've ALL heard the "Hillary Clinton's pantsuits" jokes. While "You mean Africa is a continent? We might go to war with Russia" Palin is seen as "attractive and hot.
There are many dynamics involved as far as why things are this way and it's a shame that we all have trumped up preconceived notions of others at all rather than taking them on an individual basis.
I have friends of mine who are extremely successful in the business world who will (even with all evidence supporting that), convince themselves that I'm not at all a force to be reckoned with as far as innovative and brilliant ideas, business models and system building. It's a "oh, you want me to take you seriously? But you're only a woman, now get back in the kitchen" sort of attitude. They would NEVER be my business partners, but they want to be my husband? Really? LMAO, control freak much?
I've even had a bank owner offer to marry me, buy me a porsche and be absolutely committed to my happiness if I gave up my business ideas and aspirations. It is perpetual, many men share this view in the white collar world, and it is angering if you allow it to be. (Vengeance is mine!!!)
But can you blame us? We're only human. :)

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 10:45:47 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		~FR~

In the cyber world of email, IRC, or discussion boards like this where a photo isn't available, I've been mistaken for a man. In the real world, I've been told I "think like a guy" but, as a former stripper and currently semi-pro model (occasionally I get paid, mostly I do it for fun), no one would ever mistake me for a man. I've done drag...I do not pass as a dude. The only time I've ever been told I was masculine was when I was LARPing and playing a male character. I got so into character, I had a guy I was friends with tell me "you walk like you have balls."

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 11:00:33 AM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		I get treated with much more courtesy online and my statements carry more weight if I don't identify myself as female.
How sad that the JK Rowling effect still occurs!

Online: the vast majority of online trolls are male: insecure, aspy, sadistic/sociopathic and/or virgin men, who are more courteous or beta/deferential to correspondents they believe are also male and who could whup their asses.
Likewise, note the difference in tone when doms comment in the 'Ask a Mistress' section vs. when Dommes comment in 'Ask a Master'.

Happily over-endowed in the breast department, so no gender misidentification in person.


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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 12:06:17 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		Because something may be a so called accepted descriptor and something rather back into the eighties, used by lessor individuals that have a rough time getting off that rock they are sitting on, maybe impaled by something or other... think a woman can only be strong, determined, authoritative, competent, etc. if she is acting like a man... doesn't make it true or acceptable.

People... get it... people... can be many things and when we have to put a gender descriptor to it... we only highlight the Fred Flintstones that haven't gotten over some DNA issue or something.

Don't play into it.

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 2:47:22 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		FR

The most 'masculine' woman I know - a good and old friend - isn't dominant and has no lesbian tendencies. Her friends know better than ever to call her masculine, in any way. Lovely woman - but voice like a foghorn and entirely unhampered by sensitivity. She taught me how to belch really loudly.

Dominant women are just like vanilla women, only more bad-tempered - that's about it.

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 2:53:45 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		How rude, I don't belch ;)

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 3:12:19 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		Gee... why be bad tempered when you can just bend them over?

Why be bad tempered when you can laugh?

Being dominant women doesn't mean you have to flex your muscle and be angry to make something happen. Not that I have never been angry... boy have I, with good reason. However, I send those reasons packing pretty quickly and get back to my happy self.

I don't do moody. That falls right in line with that in-a-box, pmsing, hormonal womanly excuse and accusation. Just say no or confine yourself until you are other-human-ready.

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 3:56:20 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Oh, I'm sure you can be bad tempered if you want to be, Rawni. A tiny red haired fireball of sparks! Don't kill the fantasy for me! :-(

ETA: to continue the theme: I want a tiny, tiny femdom that'll fit in my pocket, and who will get nasty and punch me in the kidneys at suitable intervals, shouting insults at me and calling me 'a useless English twat' and stuff.

You are that femdom, Rawni!

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 2/21/2014 4:17:33 PM >

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 4:44:58 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		ROFL... Pocket sized kidney puncher eh?

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/21/2014 7:19:39 PM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline 		Not "masculine", but I've often been told I think like a man.

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/22/2014 5:02:00 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Never. Not even while growing up while I was out playing with the boys.

I have been called a bitch before -- what woman hasn't?

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/22/2014 5:21:09 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissToYouRedux

Not "masculine", but I've often been told I think like a man.


I always find that so funny and smile sweetly, then make a comment about the fact that I'm not aware that thinking is gender specific. For kicks I had some Papal bullet from the dark ages, where it was declared that teaching women to read and write would diminish her fertility and asked guys for a scientific explanation. Always a good laugh but then again, I'm easily amused.

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/22/2014 12:41:02 PM   
asanaambitions


Posts: 62
Joined: 8/26/2013
Status: offline 		I've been called a bitch, intimidating, cold, mean, negative....all sorts of things that did in essence mean "you're not acting stereotypically feminine enough for my comfort". However, other than the guys who decide to pull the "I think you're really a man" trick I've never had anyone say I'm masculine. I guess there have been a few times in restaurants when one of the staff thought I was a guy, normally because they didn't actually look at me before going "Hey dude, I need a side of mustard". Just one of the perks of being in a male dominated industry :)

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/24/2014 7:03:10 AM   
MadameMarque


Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hardly. I'm about as 'femme' as you can get, although the style is a bit more Morticia than it is Hello Kitty. I remember a friend of mine once saying to me, 'You enjoy being a woman as much as I do!' I wear skirts and jewelry and long hair, and wore heels for walking shoes since I was old enough to wear them. I don't like to raise my voice and I don't think I should have to.

I don't think I should have to affront a man's masculinity or dignity, in order to get things done. So I hope that no one could rightfully call me those names in the negative, everyday sense of the words. I rather imagine you're talking about people outside of the scene, in your questions.

Of course, it's different among friends within the scene. To each their own idea of a compliment, or a good time :)

But as to whether dominant women are typically called masculine, there's no need to be masculine, in order to be dominant. In my personal observation, the large majority of dominant women are quite feminine in style and affect.

But those names you mentioned are actually reserved, in their most disdainful connotations, exclusively for females. There's no name you can call a male that can as effectively *(edit for typo) undercut and dismiss his power or authority, as the way that the word 'bitch' is intended to obliterate the personal power and authority of a female. It says, 'you're not supposed to have any power or authority or equal standing, in the first place.'

Outside of the scene, where they might be intended differently, men who easily resort to calling women names such as those. are signalling their own weakness.


quote:

ORIGINAL: AlphaFemsRule

It seems this is a common descriptor when it comes to the personalities of dominant women. They're called "masculine" or, less flatteringly, bitches / ball-busters, etc.

True for you as well?



< Message edited by MadameMarque -- 2/24/2014 7:24:48 AM >

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RE: Have people often referred to you as 'masculine'? - 2/24/2014 7:20:08 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

There's no name you can call a male that can as effectively uncut and dismiss his power or authority, as the way that the word 'bitch' is intended to obliterate the personal power and authority of a female.


Smile sweetly and say "Takes a bastard to know one!"

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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Profile   Post #: 20
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