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Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/21/2014 9:27:58 AM

ChrisRivers

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/13/2013
Status: offline

I fail to understand the point of a slave contract. If a sub fails to adhere to his obligations in the contract what leverage does the Domme have? I doubt such a contract is enforceable in the court especially if the D/s are in different countries. Has anyone used a contract? If so, can you tell me what the point is?

Post #: 1

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/21/2014 9:31:11 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

It is symbolic. The bottom line is... If in breach, get the fuck out.

Jus sayin
Exiled

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to ChrisRivers)

Post #: 2

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/21/2014 9:39:08 AM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

It has no legal standing in any court of law as far as I know. So it's pretty much an honor system type deal between the two parties involved...and that's about it. Never used them myself because I too never saw a point to them.

However if two people in a relationship like them, who am I to judge what makes them happy? To each their own and live/let live.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 3

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/21/2014 9:44:31 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrisRivers
I fail to understand the point of a slave contract. If a sub fails to adhere to his obligations in the contract what leverage does the Domme have? I doubt such a contract is enforceable in the court especially if the D/s are in different countries. Has anyone used a contract? If so, can you tell me what the point is?

It gets some people hot. They feel more owned, or more owner-y.

It's much like how some people lust after protocols, and others prefer their kink to be free-flowing.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to ChrisRivers)

Post #: 4

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/21/2014 9:56:02 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrisRivers

I fail to understand the point of a slave contract. If a sub fails to adhere to his obligations in the contract what leverage does the Domme have? I doubt such a contract is enforceable in the court especially if the D/s are in different countries. Has anyone used a contract? If so, can you tell me what the point is?

That you're even asking this is telling, though Exiled is right. *smh*

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to ChrisRivers)

Post #: 5

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/21/2014 10:01:01 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrisRivers

I fail to understand the point of a slave contract. If a sub fails to adhere to his obligations in the contract what leverage does the Domme have? I doubt such a contract is enforceable in the court especially if the D/s are in different countries. Has anyone used a contract? If so, can you tell me what the point is?

We used a contract at the very beginning. I found it helpful as a tool to facilitate discussions about what we expected out of the relationship.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ChrisRivers)

Post #: 6

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/21/2014 10:10:44 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

We used a contract at the very beginning. I found it helpful as a tool to facilitate discussions about what we expected out of the relationship.

^^^ This.

We didn't use a contract in this relationship, but in a former (short-lived) relationship we put together a contract which spelled out our obligations to each other. It helped both of us to understand what the other wanted/needed and I found it quite a useful exercise.

I don't have one with Master because I think we've both being doing this long enough to know what we want/need and we talk a lot about 'us', so putting it down on paper is somewhat redundant.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 7

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/21/2014 11:47:49 AM

LeatherBentOne51

Posts: 89
Joined: 12/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrisRivers

I fail to understand the point of a slave contract. If a sub fails to adhere to his obligations in the contract what leverage does the Domme have? I doubt such a contract is enforceable in the court especially if the D/s are in different countries. Has anyone used a contract? If so, can you tell me what the point is?

We used a contract at the very beginning. I found it helpful as a tool to facilitate discussions about what we expected out of the relationship.

I like contracts for the same reason as OsideGirl stated. I have actually attached contracts to the wall in bedroom for easy access as a reminder to measure what more needs to be done on my part. Of course, my sub at the time was free to do the same, and if I felt there was the need to reinforce this, the topic was freely discussed as equals during our weekly "temparaure-taking" meeting.

< Message edited by LeatherBentOne51 -- 2/21/2014 11:49:21 AM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 8

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/21/2014 11:58:17 AM

LeatherBentOne51

Posts: 89
Joined: 12/28/2012
Status: offline

(In response to OP:Chris River's profile)

I have never trained or made contracts online; however, I have met subs from online and discussed certain topics or sent information from websites to try to discern if we were compatible enough to meet in real life. That's as far as online goes for me being I will not cyber sex or scene, nor would I "take-on" a totally online submissive.

In reading your profile, I hope you delete information regarding no experience and how desparate you are. There are many predators online; male and female.

< Message edited by LeatherBentOne51 -- 2/21/2014 12:02:39 PM >

(in reply to LeatherBentOne51)

Post #: 9

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/21/2014 2:15:27 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

From people who have written one, I've been told that the point is making both of you think about how things will work out.

Because if you write "s type will be cheerful upon arising" and the s type can't even walk straight before coffee, then you have to talk about that. Maybe you'll change it to s type will set the coffee up the previous night and get up 15 minutes before the D so as to have a first cup and be coherent. Maybe you'll just delete that line altogether.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LeatherBentOne51)

Post #: 10

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/21/2014 2:52:06 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

It's more like a reminder. I mean when you get married you usually also do that thing "in good times as in bad times, in sickness and health..." not legally binding because a lot of people get a divorce in bad times or sickness, but if you aren't willing to consider being with a partner in bad times or sickness, you may as well save yourself the money a marriage license costs, because your relationship doesn't stand the chance of a snowflake in hell....

So if you sign a slave contract and go "Neener neener, not legally binding" don't sign it, why waste ink?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 11

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/21/2014 3:55:04 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

I always go with "No take-backsies". I guess neener neener is a regional interpretation of the law.

Jus sayin
Exiled

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 12

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/22/2014 4:34:07 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

It gets some people hot. They feel more owned, or more owner-y.

It's much like how some people lust after protocols, and others prefer their kink to be free-flowing.

Great way to put it.

Protocols definitely take backseat to free-flowing spontaneity in my book.

FYI Chris, contracts when they do get used, are between Masters and slaves. A Mistress may require one with a male sub such as yourself, for a one-year term of service for example. With your being a newcomer, I wouldn't let myself get talked or pressured into signing a damn thing. Now reviewing a list of instructions or deal-breaker Hard Limits is apropos, more prudent if you compile your own short list of Soft & Hard Limits.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 13

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/22/2014 4:47:10 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

I think, especially for newcomers, looking at some of the available contracts online can be helpful I figuring out what you do and don't want out of the relationship. So often, "newbies" come to the boards questioning activities they didn't discuss and are now being told since they are "owned" they have to suck it up and deal. No one can think of everything in discussions about limits, and those lists frequently contain things an s-type might not have thought of or will bring to mind other things.

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Post #: 14

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/22/2014 7:17:24 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

Let's workshop this...

Can you think of a situation where a clearlymdefined list of roles and responsibilities might be useful?

Go on! I bet you can answer your own question if you really work at it.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to ChrisRivers)

Post #: 15

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/22/2014 7:29:21 AM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline

Contracts are good items to have in your little "Headspace Toolbox". They aren't enforceable by the courts, but they are good for developing a certain frame of mind, if that is what your goal is. However, like everything else they should be talked through and have both parties' consent.

If you don't believe in contracts, then don't sign one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrisRivers
I fail to understand the point of a slave contract. If a sub fails to adhere to his obligations in the contract what leverage does the Domme have? I doubt such a contract is enforceable in the court especially if the D/s are in different countries. Has anyone used a contract? If so, can you tell me what the point is?

It gets some people hot. They feel more owned, or more owner-y.

It's much like how some people lust after protocols, and others prefer their kink to be free-flowing.

< Message edited by MAINEiacMISTRESS -- 2/22/2014 7:30:04 AM >

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 16

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/22/2014 7:35:49 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

I never have used a contract because I find myself to really be very BROAD as far as my interests and do like 90% of things in the realm of kink. I definitely would hate to promise one thing and do another. I have never had a need for safe words, contracts etc. Usually a sub has toys of his own and from there you can guage what he has and hasn't done and in what direction you can push the proverbial envelope.
I did register my current slave to the slaveregistrar (first for me), because he is indisposed as he has a parent who is terminally ill and while he is dealing with that it does make me feel like he is still mine in the meantime, along with other commands I have given him to "keep him under my thumb" from afar while still respecting his family's need for "space" while pretty much preparing for the worst.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 2/22/2014 7:38:45 AM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 17

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/22/2014 8:24:47 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Let's workshop this...

Can you think of a situation where a clearlymdefined list of roles and responsibilities might be useful?

Go on! I bet you can answer your own question if you really work at it.

Oh Crazy, if I weren't a married woman... you don't know what it does to me when you post things like that.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 18

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/22/2014 5:34:02 PM

StrongSpirit

Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline

Three things:

1) Contract are a form of play, as others stated earlier. Some people enjoy thinking about them, writting them, signing them, bragging about them, etc.

2) A well written contract can clarify things like limits and prevent misunderstandings. They are a clear, less disputable type of communication which is always good for any relationship.

3) A well written contract can be enforceable, under certain circumstances. For example, if the dom owns the home and the sub lives with the dom, you can write it up to look like a lease with some odd clauses. Note, some idiots try to abuse this and quickly find out the that they have made a big mistake. I.E. reasonable penalties work, but things like "failure to do the house work results in the forfeiture of your deposit" will not fly. Try a $50 penalty, not a thousand dollar one. Note this type of contract tends to be LESS a form of play as it can get pretty legalistic.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 19

RE: Slave Contract - what good is it - 2/22/2014 6:15:24 PM

FluidFlame

Posts: 14
Joined: 2/19/2014
Status: offline

It can help start a discussion which should happen contract or no contract.
It can give both parties something to reference so they can predict how the relationship will work
It can weed out some people (many red flags can show up in a contract)
It is in writing so if anything is forgotten, you can always go back and read to clarify things
It can be used in play.

In most countries it doesn't hold up in court though

~Flame

< Message edited by FluidFlame -- 2/22/2014 6:16:23 PM >

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

Post #: 20

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