njlauren
Posts: 1577
Joined: 10/1/2011 Status: offline
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A contract can be a lot of things. For some it is kind of a fantasy thing brought to life, it is hot to them to put it into words in black and white. For others, it is a tool, that can get the people into the right headspace, or gives them guidelines and such. More importantly, it kind of forces people to think about the relationship and give it structure and bounds, which for some people may be difficult 'winging it'. The only weight it holds is in the people's hearts and minds, no such contract is enforceable in most countries (there may be countries where self imposed slavery is legal, but I doubt it is easy to find), it simply formalizes a D/s between the people involved. Do you need a contract to have some sort of D/s, M/s relationship? Nope. Is it a good idea? To me, it doesn't hurt to sit down and think about what both people want, and I kind of like how with formal contracts people tend to also specify rules for when they can talk about the relationship outside of their roles, or sets a new negotiation period for the next contract. But people can do that without a formal contract, it really depends on how well they communicate. Where contracts break down IMO is when someone starts player lawyer, Philadelphia or otherwise, the sub who says "but the contract doesn't say that" in arguing something they don't want to do, or the M or D who uses some sort of strict interpretation to punish the sub or something (yeah, it is much like the never ending arguments over the constitution)..you get the idea.... As others have said, if it is attractive to the people involved, go for it, and there is merit to using it, but like any tool, depends on the user, too.
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