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RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/22/2014 8:32:59 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
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Another thought that affects the numbers.

In general... Society view of male role in relationships is often counter to what the kinky world sees for these same males. I believe a lot of men struggle with reconciling being a gentleman on the dance floor and a man in the locker room and a beast in the bedroom. Women on the other hand seem to have a better handle on this whole Madonna thing... Society even seems to be supportive of it.

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Post #: 21

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/22/2014 9:56:45 AM

DesFIP

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Online, I believe there are more women than men.

However, what you're missing here is that a large proportion of the women are actually men. And that is going to skew your data.
Same problem if the site offers statistics, they can't tell you how many of those women are really guys.

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RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/22/2014 10:01:58 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Online, I believe there are more women than men.

However, what you're missing here is that a large proportion of the women are actually men.

Or scammers from the Philippines....

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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Post #: 23

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/22/2014 1:11:38 PM

TenderTorment

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Online, I believe there are more women than men.

However, what you're missing here is that a large proportion of the women are actually men. And that is going to skew your data.
Same problem if the site offers statistics, they can't tell you how many of those women are really guys.

In the interest of gender equality I would like to point out this could also be true in reverse

Lots of love

Marjory ;-)

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 24

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/22/2014 1:32:18 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Hmm.. this fits in with what my friends have been saying all along, that men no longer initiate things. It IS easier to sit and wait.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I think in real life events, vanilla or kink, there are more women because women are far more proactive.

Online, It's more men, since it's so easy to just sit there.

Pretty much what the both of you said. At bdsm clubs I see more women than men, especially switches and Dommes and the men are mostly switches or subs. There are usually very, very few femsubs that show up at them which is why you see a lot of Dommes/Doms just standing around doing nothing.

Online, you find mostly men because they are socially inept and well.....lazy. They don't go out much away from their computers. Women though, are always out doing things...hanging out with girlfriends, going to clubs, shopping, volunteer work, going to college (there are more women in college now than men).

Plus women are wanting a relationship. They don't find that so much online. They find that in real life. Most men are just seeking sex and that's why they're usually online. They think this site = porn = easy lay.

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RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/22/2014 1:38:10 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

It's not that (as someone suggested) it's "easier for men to just sit there".

For many, many years, I have been a huge believer that it is the dominant's "job" to go about their business, live their life, interact socially and if a submissive has some interest, they will find a way to let the dominant know.

I think it sort of is a gender thing. I think for all the advances in our society, I still hear ladies saying: "Oh! I'll never make a 'first move'. It isn't lady-like." I say: poop on that. Of course, this depends upon how we're defining "first move" but, I am speaking in the context of that first little ice breaker (and then, the actual cementing of the D/s dynamic).

It is the submissive who (at some point) offers themselves to the dominant. It is solely their choice to make and no one should rush that choice.

I guess I am old fashioned. No surprise to those who know me. I've never made a first move and never plan to. And never had a shortage of dates until I hit the millennium and then men started deciding they no longer wanted to do anything at all to get a woman except sit back and wait; no eye contact, no smiles, no flirting, no nothing.

Unless you call the first move as me smiling your way, flirting with my eyes, positioning my body in your direction and in just the right way to show you I'm interested. Unfortunately I've never even had that from a men once the millennium rolled its head. Thank gawd Master came along or I'm thinking I'd be an old widow for the rest of my life.

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Post #: 26

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/22/2014 1:41:42 PM

RemoteUser

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Everything can be assigned a statistic value when making comparisons.

The question isn't probability, it's significance.

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Post #: 27

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/22/2014 6:18:29 PM

StrongSpirit

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Joined: 4/10/2005
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In my personal experience there are just as many women into kink than men.

But due to various cultural dynamics, women do NOT advertise it. They don't sign up for sites like collarme as often as men do.

I know some slightly submissive women that don't think of themselves as submissive, they just think they like 'traditional relationships'. You know - where they guy makes all the decisions, etc. etc.

I know some dominant women that think they are just feminists. These 'feminists' still insist the guy ask them out - then only go out with the kind of men that the movies call pussy-whipped.

Men on the other hand are much less likely to do this. Part of this is because our sexuality is both more visual and easier to detect. When we see a women in chains (or in leather with a paddle) and get an erection we quickly realize exactly what we are. We are also less ashamed about it because we are not raised to be 'good boys' the way many women are raised to be 'good girls'.

So when we realize our sexuality, we explore it online, as opposed to in real life.

At the same time, it is far easier for a women to explore her kinky side in real life that it would be for most men.

This means that women that thinks she might be kinky, but is only a little bit, will quickly try it and realize that she just wants a little spicy snack, not a whole meal.

The guy however may stick around the internet for months or even years wanting to try it, but never getting anything. Eventually he does and realizes, hey, he also only wants a spicy snack, and leaves the online scene.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 28

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/22/2014 8:10:16 PM

cloudboy

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Yes, it is a numbers game. Women interested in kink hold a very empowered position.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 29

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/23/2014 3:42:19 AM

CatharsisKentUK

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Joined: 2/22/2014
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Well I joined yesterday and I've had pages of messages - and that was AFTER filtering out everything from outside the UK. I advertised myself as bi but not one woman has contacted me. I do not have a pic up and was not expecting much interest but that has not been the case. I can tell you that a good 60% of my messages are from middle aged and older men. When I tell them I'm not after a 50-70 year old dom, they call me ageist. I'll bet they're not out there hitting up profiles for 50-70 year old subs though, so who's ageist now? The old boys are also the ones who will whine and bitch if I don't reply promptly, or who will continue to send me unsolicited banter trying to elicit a reaction. So I think there are plenty of men on here but it's skewed because a lot of them are much older and they're a lot more rude, aggressive and patronising than I thought they'd be.

Sigh

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 30

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/23/2014 3:47:33 AM

LadyConstanze

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If you joined recently, you will show up as a new profile, you're "fresh meat" so you will be spammed with messages, just happens, it will trickle off.

Don't focus on "having to find somebody" and don't stress about it, use the preview (curser above the mail without opening it, gives you the first few lines) and delete at will.

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Post #: 31

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/23/2014 4:01:35 AM

LadyConstanze

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Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Hmm.. this fits in with what my friends have been saying all along, that men no longer initiate things. It IS easier to sit and wait.

If you are talking about real life, seriously, never been at ONE kink event that was open to men and women where the women weren't vastly outnumbered by the men, that really goes for the US and Europe. A lot of venues charge react accordingly, females pay very little admission fee, couples slightly more but still far far less than single males....

Edited for spelling

< Message edited by LadyConstanze -- 2/23/2014 4:04:43 AM >

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Post #: 32

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/23/2014 9:40:55 AM

Missokyst

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I have been to munches only here in Ca. But on and off for 20 yrs I have visited munches from the top of the state to the bottom and it has always been more women than men.
I really need to visit other places!

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Post #: 33

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/23/2014 10:41:40 AM

LadyConstanze

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Wow, even in LA at workshops, there were a hell lot more guys, I recall I was giving a demo with another Domme and there were a few couples, very few single women and a lot of single men.

The funniest thing was once attending a munch in Germany (was visiting a friend in another area) and just decided to come with him to the munch, he was giggling like mad but refused to tell me why, when we arrived there, it was clear why, about 10 guys (no woman there) stared at me as if I'd be some mythological creature. My friend later told me that I was the very first woman who showed up at one of their munches, I went "Well, you're all on kink networks, have you ever thought about inviting the women in your area, you know instead of just having munches that are sausage-fests?" It had never ever occurred to them before. Men aren't always the most practical creatures.

But fetish events are usually priced like: single women 5, couples 10, single men 15 (or 20) in some cases, they wouldn't be so eager to have women there if there was a balance.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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Post #: 34

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/23/2014 10:59:04 AM

Missokyst

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It may be because they were workshops. For my own case at least, I have been to 1 or 2 workshops in all the years I have done this stuff, but many munches. The really odd thing here in northern Ca, is that there are even more female dominants than males who attend munches. That is, if they are not feuding. That really lowers the dominant attendance

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 2/23/2014 11:00:55 AM >

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

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Post #: 35

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/23/2014 11:03:40 AM

LadyConstanze

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They weren't all workshops, but most munches (certainly all I have been to) the men outnumber the women, fetish events even more so, at workshops you actually get the highest number of women.

I'm so puzzled about your experience, I have slowed down going to munches and all that, I think the last year maybe 3 or 4, I guess LP is the most active around here, maybe she can shed some light on it, because unless you are really living in an area that hardly has any guys, it seems to be so different from everything I ever experienced.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 36

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/23/2014 11:36:14 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Wow, even in LA at workshops, there were a hell lot more guys

That's been my experience as well. Even at club events. (Although, there was a time when I was single that a group of us would go to The Lair to hang out on the patio. We were not there to play, we were there to socialize and get dressed up.)

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 37

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/23/2014 1:22:51 PM

Missokyst

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I wonder if my experience with this (at least in the earlier days) was because these things were just taking off. I haven't been to an event in the lower half of the state in over a decade. Up here there are men, but the majority are sub rather than dom. That is not so much as an anomaly as it is a reflection of fewer of either sex being dominant.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Wow, even in LA at workshops, there were a hell lot more guys

That's been my experience as well. Even at club events. (Although, there was a time when I was single that a group of us would go to The Lair to hang out on the patio. We were not there to play, we were there to socialize and get dressed up.)

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 38

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/23/2014 1:27:45 PM

sexyred1

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At any event I have ever attended, there were more sub men and Domme women than anything else. There were hardly any Dom men.

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Post #: 39

RE: Is it really a numbers game? - 2/23/2014 1:34:28 PM

LadyConstanze

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There was certainly never a shortage of sub men...

At one event a guy (the uber Dom) came up to H and asked me if I'm his property, H almost died laughing and said "I really wouldn't put it like that" and the guy misunderstood and tried to grab me and drag me to a cross, with really vile language, I removed his hand from my arm and might have accidentally twisted his thumb backwards (I was not "overly pleased"), a DM grabbed him and gave him a run down on protocol and what is OK and what not, it was hilarious, the guy really had such a hissy fit that somebody could suggest that not all women are submissives and he can't walk around and just "help himself", it ended with him being rather unceremoniously being shown the door.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 40

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