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Dommes who arent - 11/21/2004 5:26:51 AM

subtlealan

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/5/2004
Status: offline

its such a shame to see at times some so called Domme profiles...some show no respect for submissives and seem to think that any submissive is beneath contempt....respect begets respect

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RE: Dommes who arent - 11/21/2004 8:32:43 AM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlealan

its such a shame to see at times some so called Domme profiles...some show no respect for submissives and seem to think that any submissive is beneath contempt....respect begets respect

I recommend that Dom/mes who have no respect for submissives try flogging an empty cross for awhile and see how satisfying that is.
It is why, while it isn't law, I believe that Dom/mes should spend at least a year as a submissive to see how much strength, intelligence, humor etc it takes.

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RE: Dommes who arent - 11/21/2004 8:46:14 AM

GoddessJules

Posts: 549
Status: offline

Well, I guess that type of domination isn't your style. . .so just move on to the next profile. Just because you don't like a certain type of Domina. . .or that her style of domination upsets your delicate sensibilities. . .doesn't mean that everyone else feels the same way.

This is that part where a community at large tries to dictate how someone should be, how they should portray themselves, and how they should practice BDSM or D/s. Kudos to those that continue to march to the beat of their own drum despite people trying to tell them what a "shame" they are.

And as an aside. . these "shameful" Dominas will still get boys flocking to them.

Jules

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(in reply to subtlealan)

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RE: Dommes who arent - 11/21/2004 10:24:07 AM

Mistress Phe

Posts: 1
Joined: 2/19/2004
Status: offline

I respect a sub.

What I dont respect is a submissive who comes across as "uber submissive" but who also thinks I am on tap 24/7 to fuffill their fantasies.

For me to connect with a sub its best to make that connection outside of a BDSm setting because simply the ones I meet in a BDSM setting I dont have alot of liking for

(in reply to GoddessJules)

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RE: Dommes who arent - 11/21/2004 10:45:28 AM

GoddessJules

Posts: 549
Status: offline

And that is find that you have your own preferences. Everyone does. . .but just because someone *doesn't* fit into what you personally think BDSM should be all about, doesn't make them fake, phoney, " a shame", or any other negative adjective. The original poster goes as far as to call them "so-called dommes." WHo gave *him* the authority to distinguish what is real or what is so called anyways?

Bottom line, if someone's profile rubs you the wrong way. . .why is it that the person with the profile is automatically "fucked up?" Why can't it be the person who has to rant and rave about it on a message board?

I guess in the narrow scope of what people think is "real" that can't imagine that some people want to be ojectified. The original poster can't seem to relate to that. . .therefore dominas that partake in a consentual, mutually satisfying relationship with those that look for it. . .aren't dommes. Yeah. . .that makes a LOT of sense.

Jules

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RE: Dommes who arent - 11/21/2004 10:55:32 AM

MsPurrmeow

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistress Phe
I respect a sub.

What I dont respect is a submissive who comes across as "uber submissive" but who also thinks I am on tap 24/7 to fuffill their fantasies.

For me to connect with a sub its best to make that connection outside of a BDSm setting because simply the ones I meet in a BDSM setting I dont have alot of liking for

From your statement above, we seem to have similar philosphies. Unfortunately, for many of the new folks that are just dabbling outside the vanilla world, the idea of acting responsibly does not fit their fantasy of the "Cruel and overbearing Dominant" that will inspire instant submission out of them. Most people do backpeddle quite vehemently when they realize that they have to do some of the work in the relationship, too.

One of the worst misunderstandings that makes our life difficult is when people think submissive means that they do no work and no thinking and just lay there and "take" all the pleasure we want to give them. I wish I knew how to change that. I've come to the belief that if they are serious enough, eventually they will try to figure out why they are getting turned down.

As for those other "dommes" who show no respect, some of those are new people, too. They are working on the belief that it's how they have to present themselves. Yes, some are users and predators, just like any other roles, but if it doesn't work for them, they'll stop. If it does work for them, then obviously they fit a niche that I won't go near. Humiliation and degradation are intense kinks for some people. The idea of a happy vanilla sit-down isn't what they want.

Just my thoughts. I hope they were helpful.

Purr

(in reply to Mistress Phe)

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RE: Dommes who arent - 11/21/2004 8:37:30 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

LOL

Respect you???

a sub??

I respect no one I dont know and this is sumthing thats earned from Me
and NOT to be expected from Me...... Thats whats expected from * normal
folks from a vanilla society not in My World. See thats the problem with
many subbies they think sumthing is owed em. NOT!!

get real...............

(in reply to MsPurrmeow)

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RE: Dommes who arent - 11/22/2004 12:45:14 AM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
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It's all a damn crying shame! All of it!!!

Dominants who think they can collar you on the first date

Submissives who think they can move in as property on the first date

blowjob dominants who think that S&M is just another way to meet loose people for kinky sex

pushy submissives who think that S&M is just another way to meet loose people for kinky sex

dominants who have no resepct for their submissives

submissives who don't want your respect

people who think calling one's self "dominant" is an easy way to justify inappropriate behavior

people who think being submissive means that someone else will take responisbility for their life

people getting payed for sex

people paying for sex

people paying their partner's bills and expenses

people not paying their partner's bills and expenses

people who insist on splitting finances evenly so that no one "owes" anything

people who believe that a person should contribute according to their means

people who can't spell

spelling nazis

talking in third person

claiming to be submissive while still using the pronouns I and Me

refusing to capitalize someone's name

insisting on capitalization protocols

redundant threads

people getting their knickers in a knot because a newbie hasn't figured out the search function yet

online players

people who can't respect the validity of an online relationship

SHAME!!! SHAME ON YOU ALL!!! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT MY WAY IS SO MUCH BETTER?!? IT'S ALL ONE HUGE GOSH-DARNED CRYING SHAME!!!

Thankfully, as some of my friends are fond of saying, "you can't shame the shameless"

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Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to subtlealan)

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RE: Dommes who arent - 11/22/2004 4:39:19 AM

Sylverdawn

Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
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laughing.. Suleiman.. I bout peed myself.. ooooh golden..nonononononononon.. thats a hard limit!!!!!!... bravissimo

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(in reply to Suleiman)

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RE: Dommes who arent - 11/22/2004 6:13:52 AM

GoddessJules

Posts: 549
Status: offline

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

This one actually made me chuckle out loud. Thanks!

Jules

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A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
Click here to visit my site

(in reply to Suleiman)

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RE: Dommes who arent - 11/22/2004 7:17:17 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
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~guilty~

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RE: Dommes who arent - 11/22/2004 7:29:14 PM

LadyPatrice

Posts: 11
Joined: 11/14/2004
Status: offline

Dear, dear Suleiman,

You gave me a good belly laugh! That is makes a good relationship, laughing at the same things lots of the time. Egads, what will I do? I feel so good and no one to use my wonderful new strap pn. Not a strap-on...my strap...on, someone..oh nevermind.

Lady Patrice

(in reply to Suleiman)

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RE: Dommes who arent - 11/22/2004 7:39:48 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

ROFLMAO!!!

Very well said Suleiman.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to Suleiman)

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