RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (Full Version)

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Blueswordsman -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/3/2014 6:35:13 PM)

It has been a while since I saw the movie. I remember: Mickey Rourke giving Kim Basinger a watch and telling her to think of him every hour on the hour; Kim blindfolded in a slip voluntarily sitting on a bed in a dingy hotel room without a clue of what was about to happen to her. She also was made to crawl and told to stand in a corner to be spanked. Those are obvious D/s moves.



littlewonder -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/3/2014 6:57:59 PM)

and again, did you watch the entire movie? Ever see the ending? It ain't pretty.



Blueswordsman -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/3/2014 7:56:25 PM)

She walks away. He was seducing her into a D/s relationship and she said no. All I said it was an example how to seduce a woman into D/s. Mickey's attempted D/s seduction was spot on. She just wasn't interested.



SeekingTrinity -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/3/2014 8:37:45 PM)

~FRing it~

Hmm, using fictional movies as a play book to seduce someone into BDSM? Sounds like the stuff of fantasy and it sure does make a lot of money (think author of 50 Shades), but just not sure how practical that is in reality land. There is a lot more that goes into someone's sexual landscape...and some people just flat out have strong objections to anything that is outside of the proverbial box. And sometimes no amount of fictional perceived hotness can overcome that. No matter how badly you might want it to be anything other than that. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't always make them drink. Even if you believe said horse is submissive to their need for water and it just needs to be brought out.

Have I seduced vanillas to BDSM? No, I actually prefer to be involved with those who are already inclined towards that way of thinking. Makes things much easier to just know, rather than play the "will they/won't they" BDSM guessing game.



littlewonder -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/3/2014 9:50:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman

She walks away. He was seducing her into a D/s relationship and she said no. All I said it was an example how to seduce a woman into D/s. Mickey's attempted D/s seduction was spot on. She just wasn't interested.



No. She walked away because he was emotionally unavailable to her, refused to meet her friends, etc...He only wanted a sexual relationship with her. In the end, he knows she's going to leave and he finally opens up to her about who he is but by then it's too late and she leaves.



LadyPact -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/3/2014 10:25:58 PM)

Maybe it's because I'm not male. I'm not trying to be a jerk about this. I'm not seeing this as converting a vanilla person to D/s. I see this more from the kinky sex angle.

Had something similar been asked over on the Mistress board, such as how hard is it really to get a male to do what you want them to do in bed, it's kind of a no brainer. From the top side, it's not terribly difficult at all for a woman who takes charge in the bedroom to get a guy to do what she wants. Maybe not the hard core stuff (heavy S/m, blood play, etc) but the simple things like light bondage or 'you'll do what I tell you to do' kind of thing isn't a difficult accomplishment. There are tons on not exactly vanilla guys out there who fantasize about a woman controlling them in the bedroom, so getting them to follow through on that doesn't seem like it's all that big of a thing.

Granted, I can see how this can be more difficult from the bottom side. It's harder to get somebody to do things to you than for you. Being the person who wants to take control, rather than give it, does seem to have something of an advantage.

So, if you don't mind, OP, can you explain to Me what I'm missing here?



Winterapple -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/3/2014 10:54:41 PM)

FR
Seducing someone into trying something isn't the same thing as converting them.
Converting someone isn't the same thing as introducing someone to something
that they are already predisposed to.

A straight person on the right bored stoned night might be "seduced"
by someone bi or gay. They might enjoy it and have a mighty,
mighty real orgasm but they're still straight and will remain so.
A lot of people will try anything once especially if its momentarily
chic or seen as risqué or daring. But trying something and being
something are not the same thing. Kink and power exchange aren't
the same thing. Liking a little light kink now and again is like
having a little wasabi on occasion, sometimes the tastebuds feel
a little adventurous. But they don't want it as a steady part of
their diet.

And aw geesh, 91/2 Weeks? Kim wouldn't even have sex with
Mickey in real life because she was turned off by his BO.
And that was when Mickey was beautiful and relatively unbroken.





Blueswordsman -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/4/2014 4:55:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

~FRing it~

Hmm, using fictional movies as a play book to seduce someone into BDSM? Sounds like the stuff of fantasy and it sure does make a lot of money (think author of 50 Shades), but just not sure how practical that is in reality land. There is a lot more that goes into someone's sexual landscape...and some people just flat out have strong objections to anything that is outside of the proverbial box. And sometimes no amount of fictional perceived hotness can overcome that. No matter how badly you might want it to be anything other than that. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't always make them drink. Even if you believe said horse is submissive to their need for water and it just needs to be brought out.

Have I seduced vanillas to BDSM? No, I actually prefer to be involved with those who are already inclined towards that way of thinking. Makes things much easier to just know, rather than play the "will they/won't they" BDSM guessing game.


I asked..."Have you ever seduced a vanilla lady/guy and introduced them to D/s? If yes, can you relate the experience." Then offered Nine and a Half Weeks as an example of slowly seducing a vanilla into D/s not a playbook.

I’m a closet bedroom Dom. My current life situation is complex. I consider my self married and live with two of my children. I'm not interested in a mate or LTR. I'm on just about every friend’s and relative’s top 3 fix-him-uppers. I vanilla blind date often. I respect all my dates, am attentive and pick up the check. If someone is appealing to me. I use very similar techniques to see if they could be interested in D/s play before I discuss it. My successes were not much better or worse than Micky's but it was exciting. I have D/s playmates and they are much more satisfying, However "will they/won't they play or will they/won't out me is fun too.

Remember Mickey’s watch, I use luxurious T shirts and whisper..."Ware it to bed and remember me" It works as well as his watch did. When I'm about to get intimate for the first time I always sit back and say, strip for me. It's a great tell. Mikey's playbook does work.

I posted the topic because I was curious if someone else had similar experiences and was hoping to get some ideas.



angelikaJ -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/4/2014 8:17:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman

She walks away. He was seducing her into a D/s relationship and she said no. All I said it was an example how to seduce a woman into D/s. Mickey's attempted D/s seduction was spot on. She just wasn't interested.


And that is the problem with getting one's inspiration from movies.
It is fiction.

The book that the movie was developed from was semi-autobiographical and ended even less prettily than the book.
He crossed a boundary he didn't know she had and she had a nervous breakdown.
He didn't know it was a boundary because nothing was ever discussed.

You see it as his slowly introducing her to BDSM.
But there was no negotiation.

Either she accepted his agenda or she didn't.
If she didn't, she could leave.

Now there are many TPE situations that operate on exactly that premise.
But if one is seducing someone into the lifestyle, I don't think that it should be TPE from the beginning.
Do you?



Rawni -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/4/2014 11:08:10 AM)

Seduction often takes on a dishonest element for some people. So does self image. Playing a role can be a lie and most often is in my opinion.

Add a complex living situation where you 'consider' yourself married and living with children, can add up to a guy not being honest with those he seeks and the one he 'considers' himself married to.

So while the art's are used to make an example and persona's are used to show who one is, seduction turns to something I would never use. I tend to reach in and learn the person, engage their mind and emotion with brutal honesty and the expectation of the same. So seduction would and could mean many things to many people.

Personally, I would find explaining myself like a professional and then a notorious bad girl, insufficient in any form of seduction because it simply wouldn't be me... but then if I were hiding things from many, I guess a disguise works perfectly in the art of seduction. I see all that as hiding behind an image and what exactly do these images imply?

What does a biker think like? Please, do tell. Dressing like a banker? ROFLMAO! Movies for real life examples?

Fail.

Had I realized your idea of seduction, I would have had to say no... I never have done that.



Blueswordsman -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/4/2014 12:56:26 PM)

[sm=giveup.gif]




Rawni -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/4/2014 2:06:31 PM)

The only response I can give to that without getting it pulled is...

I have had my picture on here for years and that is me... under the dreamy couple in a heart bubble. If you see it on my profile, you can actually see me. I tell my other nick... go look at fet if you have a problem with it.

The rest... no comment other than I am sorry your wife is so ill.



Blueswordsman -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/4/2014 2:34:53 PM)

Thanks, You have no idea what a woman she was or how big the hole in my heart is.



LadyPact -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/4/2014 2:42:15 PM)

OP, I'm sorry for your pain, but that name calling stuff is completely inappropriate. I've been bouncing around this board with that woman for seven years. We've had our disagreements between us. However, she is NOT a person to specifically be unkind when it comes to someone's plight.

You, I believe, owe her an apology.



Rawni -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/4/2014 2:52:03 PM)

Thanks LP... seriously.

Still... I am good. This all is really an example of how crushing and devastating some health crisis can be and I am okay with what was said. Lord knows, I have been there in some fashion. I think we sometimes need to see the pain and even the lashing out when someone ignorantly comments on something that isn't clear on why something is as it is.

Had I known... I would have commented differently... still my way of posting, but differently.



Blonderfluff -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/4/2014 2:53:07 PM)

Whoa. Epic fail. By resorting to playground name calling, you just made yourself look incredibly weak, mean and decidedly UNDominant.
Well done.
And. I agree. Rawni deserves a heartfelt apology. Even after you insulted her, she came back and wished your wife well.
THAT, blueswordsman, is character.



LadyPact -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/4/2014 3:01:46 PM)

Lashing out is a reason. Not an excuse.

Yes, a debilitating illness is hell on family members. We all know that. Still, that was a disgusting comment and I stand by what I said.



DesFIP -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/4/2014 3:08:49 PM)

I read the book. He pays no attention to what she needs, caused her to have to be admitted to a psych hospital and never bothered to check on her again. If that's your idea of how to seduce someone, by being emotionally abusive, then you need some serious help.



pg4g -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/4/2014 6:26:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I read the book. He pays no attention to what she needs, caused her to have to be admitted to a psych hospital and never bothered to check on her again. If that's your idea of how to seduce someone, by being emotionally abusive, then you need some serious help.


[sm=agree.gif]



angelikaJ -> RE: If you ever have seduced a vanilla nd introduced them to D/s (3/6/2014 7:53:11 AM)

This is being meant in the most helpful way possible.

Your tit-for-tats is not doing you any favors here.
You are coming across as a small and petty man, and those are not qualities associated with a trustworthy, dominant partner.

As for your personal definition of the word "Dude", even if it is how you perceive it, that isn't likely how it is being meant.
So, for you to retaliate based upon your chosen definition of the word is, frankly a ridiculous posture to assume.

I do hope you aren't actually trying to find women from CM.
Any woman of intelligence will click the view forum posts button and see what you have written here.
Savvy women can also search by photo, so if you are a member of a site such as Fetlife and have any of the same photos there, they will find you here, read what you have written and give you a wide berth.
There are red flags everywhere.

You have not portrayed yourself in a flattering light.

My advice to you is to do yourself a favor and stop digging.



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