Serious question about Life

Serious question about Life (Full Version)

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RobMo13 -> Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:23:29 PM)
Quick edit- dont know if it will work Alright, Im going to give a quick synopsis of who I am, where I am, what I want and wondering if Im realistic or just looking for greener grass with unreal expectations in life? Should I just accept the hand I dealt myself? I wonder about many of the profiles I see btw, how many are real people with real lives, real issues, real life experiences and how many are just fakes looking for financial gain and/or self gratification. I couldn't begin to guess. Short on me. 4th Marriage, short relationship after a long term relationship ended resulted in a marriage in a short time frame. I am controlling, I am dominant in my life 24/7. I am not happy not being in control of my life my surroundings. I want life to run smooth. I do what I enjoy doing and want my wife/relationships to enjoy sharing my life experiences and interests. In the beginning (premarriage) she enjoyed my take charge side in and out of the bedroom, bondage, etc. A couple years later. She hates me always being in control, although I remind her often she enjoys what we do and I dont totally exclude her interests except when it conflicts with mine. To be fair, Im not an easy man. I expect a lot out of a person. Discipline, Integrity, commitment (as far as to ones beliefs, ambitions) We are very different. I can be hard, I can be an ass but I believe I am fair. I can be frugal but not as frugal to my own desires. I, for the life of me cant figure out how we ended up together. Very, very different. Im trying to be honest and fair in my descriptions of how I see it and not her perception which would be 100% different. I come home from work most days hoping to find she moved out. Im still married only because its my 4th and I dont want to give up. Am I realistic thinking its time to end it and believe that maybe there really is someone out there for me or is it time to just accept the cards I dealt myself as its the best I can hope for and make the best of it.

Rawni -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:31:08 PM)
You married the broad after three others didn't work. That would be your fault. Now you are going to stay when you can speak about her like that? Again, your fault. Then you are looking for a woman that suits your desires... without offering her... OH WAIT... what you have clearly shown you offer the woman you married. ROFLMAO! Whenever someone builds themselves up as you have and then takes the one they chose to marry, down as you have... I see.. traitor of he marital kind and not a very nice person. Red Flag, red flag!

LadyConstanze -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:34:27 PM)
Seriously? Well, wouldn't work for me anyway because I'm not submissive, but as a woman: You have 4 failed marriages, that would suggest to me that you aren't seeing your commitments very seriously (so a massive issue with me trusting you) or you make notoriously bad choices, though highly unlikely with 4 marriages, but if so, then you also lack the ability to learn... So basically you want a 50's household with the guy the head of the house and all that, but you can't really keep your end of that bargain, because she would need to support herself, and she has to be a sensual little sexpot as well and should look good, but there are no means to pay for that (trust me looking good and sexy involves work and expenses). You bring children into the relationship but she can't... I'm not being mean here, I'm just translating what you said into how this reads for a woman... Now if you're honest, you don't really have all that much to offer and you come with a ton of baggage, maybe you need to cut down a bit on your expectations?

Blonderfluff -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:38:49 PM)
Rob Well. Pull up a chair. I'm gonna be a lil nicer, but my opinion on your situation won't be an answer you will like. Yes. It's time to end your (4th) marriage. In fact, methinks it never should have happened. I will add to that. Holy shit. Did you learn NOTHING from your current situation!! You haven't even ended it yet, and you throw in that second to last paragraph, which is basically a personals ad for your 5th ex- wife. Seriously. End your marriage. And please. Spend some time alone. A long time. A long, long time. Figure out what it is that you keep doing wrong. Because the only thing that all 4 of your marriages have in common. Is you.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:42:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff I'm gonna be a lil nicer And I thought I was exceedingly nice (for being me anyway)

Rawni -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:43:49 PM)
I don't tend to be nice to people that would marry someone and then speak of them in such a way in public and with strangers, while looking for someone else... all while there are children in the house. Naw... no requirement to be nice other than tos and I think my post fit that. [:D]

LadyMondenschein -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:45:12 PM)
Well said, Lady C!

LorraineCA -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:50:44 PM)
I'm a firm believer that marriage is a sacred relationships and each give their vows. I believe that when two people marry they should do everything within their means to make it work. I recommend you see a marriage therapist and try to work out your issues.

Blonderfluff -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:51:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze quote: ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff I'm gonna be a lil nicer And I thought I was exceedingly nice (for being me anyway) You actually were. ;). I'm just really really really nice. (~grins and ducks~)

RobMo13 -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:53:06 PM)
Brutal but fair. Thank you for your direct observations. I did reread my post and probably should have done so before posting. A little more thought would have gone a long way. Maybe not though. I am going to delete my thread shortly but willing to accept some additional comments. I am accepting of the criticism. you are all honest and sometimes good to see yourself from an outside perspective. Thank you. I am deleting because I probably look like the biggest asshole on here, and that really isnt me. Im not as bad as I came out but then again neither is she.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:54:50 PM)
Do I need to head down to "I admit" and admit that I erased and typed new 3 times to avoid a golden letter ;)

Blonderfluff -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:56:29 PM)
Rob You can't delete a thread, only your post. And. Please don't. I'm happy to see that you came back. Give a few more people a chance to chime in, and once they've seen that you didn't stomp off all butt hurt, you may actually get some more insight. Granted. You are not in a strong moral position here. Lol. But it seems like you have a fairly thick skin, and you really do want to hear what others think. Stick around. Edit for sp.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:56:43 PM)
Rob, I had a look at your profile, you may want to rewrite that as well, especially the discrete part...

Rawni -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:57:13 PM)
The thing is... you can't delete the thread. I often have nightmares about posting and how I can be or how I cuss... but I have to live with the damage. [:D] It if mattered to me, more than the sleepless nights [;)] I might change it in fact, but I don't. That says something about me. As does your post.

LadyPact -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 12:59:33 PM)
Before anything else, I'm going to tell you that I don't think this has much to do with general BDSM. Basically, your post comes across as being a guy who doesn't want to leave his wife unless he sets himself up in another relationship first. Kind of like you'll bail if something better comes along. Otherwise, you'll stay where you are, even though you say you're not exactly happy. Seems to Me that you're setting yourself up for a repeat pattern of exactly what you did the last time. Then, you wonder how you ended up with somebody that, from your angle, wasn't a great match to begin with. If you want to find somebody else, divorce your wife first. I'd actually say that you need to spend some time being single first because, just by what you are writing here, you don't make great decisions in partners when you make quick relationship jumps. I'd probably say you need to learn to be 'happily single' before looking for the next person. Not once did you even bother to say you loved your wife. That's depressing as hell. If you're wondering why your wife is balking at the relationship style that you used to enjoy, it's because she probably knows how little you think of her. (I'd be shocked if she doesn't know after that kind of tirade above.) You honestly do have a part that you've played in that, whether you decided to list it up there in that post or not. I've been married to My husband for twelve years. If our marriage ever got to the point that your impression gives here or he thought so little of Me that he would write a post like that, I'd hope to God he'd just divorce Me and get it over with.

OsideGirl -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 1:03:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RobMo13 I am going to delete my thread shortly but willing to accept some additional comments. I am accepting of the criticism. you are all honest and sometimes good to see yourself from an outside perspective. Thank you. I am deleting because I probably look like the biggest asshole on here, and that really isnt me. Im not as bad as I came out but then again neither is she. You can't delete your thread, so you don't have any choice but to accept additional comments. My view is that it's very clear that you're done with your marriage and your reason for prolonging the suffering (for both of you) is a cop out. I would also suggest that you seek a counselor to figure out what decisions are causing you to have four failed marriages. Until you do that, you're doomed to keep repeating the same behaviors.

LadyPact -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 1:05:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze Do I need to head down to "I admit" and admit that I erased and typed new 3 times to avoid a golden letter ;) Believe Me. You weren't the only one who had to choose their words carefully.

OsideGirl -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 1:07:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze Do I need to head down to "I admit" and admit that I erased and typed new 3 times to avoid a golden letter ;) Believe Me. You weren't the only one who had to choose their words carefully. Me too...

VideoAdminChi -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 1:10:36 PM)
This thread is now in Off Topic. Thanks to everyone for being able to have this conversation without needing gold letters - keep up the good work! [image]http://twilight.ponychan.net/chan/fic/src/131300851358.jpg[/image]

VideoAdminChi -> RE: Serious question about Life (3/4/2014 1:12:29 PM)
quote: I am going to delete my thread shortly While you may edit your post for up to an hour, you may not delete your thread.

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