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Missokyst -> RE: Caregivers and help (3/8/2014 8:39:39 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: areallivehuman
Ask your "fun" sister to give the dog the injections when you go to town for the day.
Does your mother have any money of her own? You should be using it to pay the vet bill for her dog. If not, I see no problem at the least asking your siblings for a financial contribution, they owe it to you both.
I'm lucky to have an incredible partner who loves Mom, loves to bake, and has Fridays off for doctors appointments. We have a real nice life together.
Over the years I have learned the fun sister is not the most reliable choice. She is good for trips, entertainment.. heck the girl learned to talk in full paragraphs at the age of 9 months. She is social but not sensible. Some 10 yrs ago she borrowed money from my mom to the tune of 80.000 to pay off her soon to be ex-husbands portion of their house. And one year later he moved back in rent free, they are still together and that loan will only be paid in small payments until my mom passes on at which time the loan is her inheritance. The rest of the house profits will be used to pay off my mom's bills, then split between me and my other siblings. The three of us won't even make half of what she got.
My brother and other sister live in KS and TN. I think my sister may have cancer based on her calls, but one never knows with her since she has made the cancer call 7 times in the last 20 yrs. There was never any evidence of such when I did see her, but I will admit I rarely see her now. My brother is a PTSD Vet who lives in his car. I haven't seen him in years either. Both of them did visit shortly after my mom's first stroke, thanked me for watching her, and asked if the will had been settled.
quote:
ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman
And this may seem cold and callous, but do you have her final arrangements settled? It's the hardest damn thing in the world to sit down in a funeral parlor and discuss what to do with your mom, but I had to do it. Ironically, it happened only twenty-four hours before she passed away, but there was a plan in place.
I lost my job, several promising prospects, and my relationship (rocky as it is), over my taking care of her. And your sibs need to be involved as well, even if you don't like them (which I don't know). They'll need to in order for them to close the circle inside themselves regarding your mom.
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When my mom's health started to decline this passed year my sister and I started talking about funeral expenses. Neither of us has the extra cash laying around to deal with that, but fortunately my mom bought a plot with my dad in Los Angeles. However we are up in northern CA now and must transport her back. So there are still costs involved in cremation. For a year my sister, who is the executor of the estate (HA, funny how estate makes things sound so wealthy even when it isn't) kept bringing it up but nothing was done about it. Until I finally went to a local funeral home, explained my mom's aversion to discussing the topic of death and the end result was getting things paid for using her credit card which is something I pay for monthly for now. Once she passes on all the bills will be paid with the sale of the house.
quote:
ORIGINAL: soulfulsubmiss
I need help. It is not weak. I just don't know where to get help, you know?
Does anyone know of anyway to get a sibling to help out? To feel guilty that they've left you holding the bag?
Oh man... I do not envy you. I have found siblings don't feel guilt. Good luck and best wishes in getting help
quote:
ORIGINAL: kalikshama
I learned that the vet was the worst place to get his meds. They charged around $70 for something "for his white blood cells" which turned out to be an antibiotic Walmart carried for $4.
The insulin cost me 94 dollars at walgreens, and would have been 98 at walmart. Then the pharmacy girl told me that walmart carries a generic version, over the counter, does not need a prescription, for 38 dollars. I am going to ask the dogs vet if that is ok. I hope so.
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