Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee

Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity

Message

jlf1961 -> Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 5:23:23 AM)
Filling a zippo with fluid. Answering the phone in a civil manner (who the fuck calls at 530 in the damn morning?) Dealing with a 60 pound dog who wants your coffee as much as you do. (Kera is a java junky, turn your back and she will slurp your coffee down in a heartbeat) Dealing with anyone that can sleep through an alarm that is so loud you can hear it outside with the door closed.

ShaharThorne -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 5:34:08 AM)
Damned computerized telemarketers...and political surveys!

Lucylastic -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 7:55:36 AM)
If it aint sex or bacon, Im useless till my java infusion

needlesandpins -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 10:13:32 AM)
I can do anything at all as I have to drink decaf. however, the manner in which it gets done is still debatable until I've been up for a certain amount of time.....unless it involves sex of course. needles

Lucylastic -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 10:18:48 AM)
ok, well, dammit, I can do pretty much anything too and have to some days, but it is preferable to have me infused with java if you want to be friends before midday, and I get up at six most mornings. Thats what hubby reckons anyway (I do make my own coffee)

needlesandpins -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 11:46:57 AM)
UUmmmm, Lucy if you are anything at all like DrG before he's had his coffee in a morning.......well I'm staying away [sm=poke.gif] he could probably get anything done without it too, but I wouldn't take bets on everyone being in one piece at the end of it [:D] needles

jlf1961 -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 12:03:27 PM)
Depending on the canine alarm clock, wake up can be as early as five, and as late as six thirty (the little darling knows that sleeping that late screws with everything.) While the coffee is programed to start at 5:30, pouring my first cup and starting a new pot is kinda difficult with a java junky wolf hybrid jumping on you or bouncing around the kitchen like she has four pogo sticks for legs. Yes, it is a twelve cup coffee pot, and 12 cups will fill my insulated coffee mug, which is why we have two coffee pots, one for me, and one for the rest of the family. However, this morning, I had to refill my zippo in order to light my first cigarette, which delayed getting my first cup of coffee (cannot have morning caffeine without the nicotine booster.)

PeonForHer -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 5:25:44 PM)
Jesus, I used to get my university study supervisor phoning up at 8.30 am asking unbelievably heavy questions about my dissertation research. I remember one query, "Are you going to include Foucault's critique of authority in modernity?' I just felt like saying 'Fuck off until I've had breakfast, you lunatic!' At 8.30 in the morning I could barely even answer the question 'Can you clearly distinguish your arse from your elbow?' with any kind of confidence. I took to disconnecting the phone till midday. I'd need at least four coffees before dealing with that headbanger on the phone. It beats me how he a) ever got a wife and b) stayed married to her for more than a fortnight.

jlf1961 -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 5:28:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer Jesus, I used to get my university study supervisor phoning up at 8.30 am asking unbelievably heavy questions about my dissertation research. I remember one query, "Are you going to include Foucault's critique of authority in modernity?' I just felt like saying 'Fuck off until I've had breakfast, you lunatic!' At 8.30 in the morning I could barely even answer the question 'Can you clearly distinguish your arse from your elbow?' with any kind of confidence. I took to disconnecting the phone till midday. I'd need at least four coffees before dealing with that headbanger on the phone. It beats me how he a) ever got a wife and b) stayed married to her for more than a fortnight. what the hell is a fortnight? Fort means fortification, and night means the dark part of the day after the fucking sun goes down. So just what the hell are you talking about?

Lucylastic -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 5:32:48 PM)
two weeks 14 days

jlf1961 -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 5:35:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucylastic two weeks 14 days Would it not be easier to say, two weeks? Who uses words like "fortnight," or "Forthright" any more?

Lucylastic -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 5:52:56 PM)
I like forthright people and forthright is quite useable in this day n age, and as for fortnight, you dont know many brits/canadians/ either eh? its common everyday usage.

jlf1961 -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 6:00:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucylastic I like forthright people and forthright is quite useable in this day n age, and as for fortnight, you dont know many brits/canadians/ either eh? its common everyday usage. Lucy, if you have google earth, open it, type in Abilene Tx. Then find a little town just south of their called Buffalo Gap, and you will have some idea about the kind of people I know, or dont know.

MasterCaneman -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 6:03:16 PM)
Sometimes I need coffee before I can have coffee. As a result, there are often many time-space recursions in my kitchen until I break down and reheat what's left from the day before. Didn't I say this already? Wait...

Lucylastic -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 6:05:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 quote: ORIGINAL: Lucylastic I like forthright people and forthright is quite useable in this day n age, and as for fortnight, you dont know many brits/canadians/ either eh? its common everyday usage. Lucy, if you have google earth, open it, type in Abilene Tx. Then find a little town just south of their called Buffalo Gap, and you will have some idea about the kind of people I know, or dont know. Ive heard of it:) I have friends in Brownsville(one half of them is brit, cockney too) we get everywhere

jlf1961 -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 6:10:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucylastic quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 quote: ORIGINAL: Lucylastic I like forthright people and forthright is quite useable in this day n age, and as for fortnight, you dont know many brits/canadians/ either eh? its common everyday usage. Lucy, if you have google earth, open it, type in Abilene Tx. Then find a little town just south of their called Buffalo Gap, and you will have some idea about the kind of people I know, or dont know. Ive heard of it:) I have friends in Brownsville(one half of them is brit, cockney too) we get everywhere If you ever get in this area, and like history, might I suggest a couple of days exploring the Texas forts trail? Lots of ruins of old 19th century forts that were to protect settlers from Comanches, and Fort Griffith north of here had an interesting history, Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday met there for the first time.

Lucylastic -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 6:16:43 PM)
When I finally get to texas, I have a few other friends who have promised to do just that :)

PeonForHer -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 6:38:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 quote: ORIGINAL: Lucylastic two weeks 14 days Would it not be easier to say, two weeks? Who uses words like "fortnight," or "Forthright" any more? People like myself, who will shortly be invading your country in order to attempt to teach its inhabitants some civilised habits, including a language, JLF. I hope that helps. ;-)

jlf1961 -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/13/2014 6:42:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 quote: ORIGINAL: Lucylastic two weeks 14 days Would it not be easier to say, two weeks? Who uses words like "fortnight," or "Forthright" any more? People like myself, who will shortly be invading your country in order to attempt to teach its inhabitants some civilised habits, including a language, JLF. I hope that helps. ;-) You forget, the US has more legally owned and probably illegally owned firearms in the hands of civilians than any other country on the planet. Or we can just use a bunch of crop dusters and spray ya'll with Carolina Reaper juice. Of course, you may want us to shoot ya'll after the pepper stuff.

ShaharThorne -> RE: Stuff that is damn near impossible to do before your first cup of coffee (3/14/2014 4:51:28 AM)
Someone hand me my diet MD...damn caffeine headache...

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875