I was blocked (Full Version)

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johnnymars -> I was blocked (3/14/2014 6:01:42 AM)

Hi there, I am a new user and was just overwhelmed with how many subs were in my area and looking for my type, so I put together an introductory e-mail and it said something like. "Hi, I am new here and we have similar interests. Can you look at my profile and see if you'd like to start a conversation?" and I sent it to like 30 people. I got blocked and all of the people I have mailed with that message and other more personalized ones have this red text on them telling people I am suspect AND I can't send mail at all, EVEN TO SUPPORT. I tried to apologize and explain but cannot even reach them. 2 questions:

Are there any CM employees looking that can help me

Does anyone have a support e-mail address that can be mailed from OUTSIDE the site?

Thanks!! I look forward to being unblocked and being a good CM citizen.



angelikaJ -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 6:11:01 AM)

How to fix it?
Be patient.

It will resolve on it's own in a few days.

This was a problem of your own making.

"Why am I temporarily blocked from sending messages by the spam filter?
Our spam filter monitors the onsite messages you send to other users and will be activated if it determines that you're sending out a large number of generic messages. To prevent the filter from activating we recommend that you take the time to read the profiles of the other users on the site and send a personalized message to those that interest you. This is also a great way to get good responses back."


Site support is not likely to make an exception in your case.
So just be patient.

And welcome to CM!



johnnymars -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 6:16:45 AM)

Thanks for your response. Where are the rules posted so I can see them and not break others. May I put my e-mail address on my posting? How many e-mails can I send in a day/week/? Or is it JUST that the text was the same? Will the red text go away from my e-mails that people already have when I am unblocked? Thanks again!



Blonderfluff -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 6:21:32 AM)

Yes, the red warnings will disappear from your emails. The TOS are here http://www.collarme.com/personals/tos.htm

They are also found at the very bottom of the Home page on the profile side

How many messages do you want to send in a day? Just FYI. The women here get hundreds of messages a day. Make yours stand out by being a bit discriminating, original, and individual.

Just my 2 cents.



johnnymars -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 6:29:34 AM)

I have no idea how many e-mails. I am new and would like to introduce myself to all of the women I find appealing and share my interests. I though my not was unobtrusive, polite, and gave them the choice to view my profile and contact me if they wished. But I will not send same text anymore, even though writing the same thing differently about me every time is a lot of time wasted.



VideoAdminChi -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 6:32:09 AM)

I am a Forum moderator, but I will try to help you. Anyway, Support cannot help you, as the spam block is automatic. It will be off in a day or two. No one, including tech support, knows exactly how many messages in what time period will trigger the spam filter, but people who take the time to craft individual, personalized messages do not trigger it.

I recommend you not include your email address as this will make you seem overeager.

angelikaJ really gave you all the info you need. She was quoting from http://www.collarme.com/personals/help.htm



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 6:39:51 AM)

fr

Sorry, you're in time out now and you just have to wait for it to go away.

They're not going to tell you how many emails it takes to trigger the filter because... well, can you imagine how some people might exploit that? People can also manually mark your messages as spam, so there is more than one way to trigger it.

Some friendly advice - the vast majority of women will just delete obviously copy and pasted emails anyway, since they get so many every day. It makes you look like you don't care who answers, just so long as you get somebody. That's very offputting.

The best messages are short but unique. Show you have read her profile. If you have similar interests, point one out and ask a question about it so that the conversation gets rolling. For example 'Was that picture taken at the Grand Canyon? I've always wanted to visit, any idea what time of year is best?' or 'I see you teach underwater basket weaving part time. How did you get into that line of work?'



VideoAdminChi -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 6:42:43 AM)

quote:

writing the same thing differently about me every time is a lot of time wasted.


The different part does not need to be about you, but about her. "We have similar interests" is spammy - you can send this to every sub female on collarme.

There are two things that will trigger the spam filter - 1. you sending too many messages in a period of time and 2. people reporting your messages as spam. Women will not report your message if it shows that you have read her profile and have considered her limits. For example, if a women says in her profile "no men over 40" and you write her anyway, she may report your message as spam.




VideoAdminChi -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 6:51:55 AM)

This thread is now in Off Topic.



Rasciallymisty -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 7:13:04 AM)

Hello and welcome Johnny its nice to have you here with us. You asked a question in your profile if most do not send out a lot of mail when you first join. Honestly I think usually guys who are just here for wanking material do. Those that are seeking for real take their time and get to know maybe a few at a time. What happens if you get 10 women that want you to Dom them because you sound like a fit.....can you give each of them the time they deserve??

I think you have gotten some great advice here, maybe take a look around and see what this side is all about. There are some wonderful people here that have a vast knowledge on WIITWD.



angelikaJ -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 7:23:46 AM)

Women on this site, especially those on the 'new meat' (new users) list can get over 100 messages a day.

So sending out any kind of a generic message that does not specifically target her: her profile, her vanilla interests, is not likely to stand out.

This is how the Man who became [my] Master captured my interest:
He sent me an email that asked interesting questions.
Those questions were related to specific things He noted about my profile.
And I responded to those questions which elicited another round of interesting and thoughtful questions.

You want your emails to set you apart from the other 99 she received today?
Be interesting.
Make her want to know more about you.
"We have similar interests." just isn't very interesting, and it isn't going to convey that you are genuinely interested in her.

edit: punctuation choice



UllrsIshtar -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 7:55:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: johnnymars

I am new and would like to introduce myself to all of the women I find appealing and share my interests. I though my not was unobtrusive, polite, and gave them the choice to view my profile and contact me if they wished.



Your message is generic, boring, uninviting and the same as 50 others women get every day. You will not get positive responses on it.



Phoenixpower -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 9:03:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: johnnymars

Hi there, I am a new user and was just overwhelmed with how many subs were in my area and looking for my type, so I put together an introductory e-mail and it said something like. "Hi, I am new here and we have similar interests. Can you look at my profile and see if you'd like to start a conversation?"


Sorry but I doubt, that such a neutral/general message will be the path of any success.....it would imply to me that you can't be bothered to go into any specifics of my profile (if I would be searching) but expects from me to read yours and be the one to start an interesting conversation...

Seriously, if they are in your area and you are keen in a serious contact, then show some real effort...

My partner got me as he took the initiative and was an incredible normal down to earth guy in his emails....a fact, which became a great joy after reading too many neutral and HNG's emails in the years before meeting him...

But good luck and welcome on collarme [:)]



MasterCaneman -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 9:31:22 AM)

Take the time out to go through profiles, and see how others construct them. Don't just focus on the ones you wish to meet, look at as many different profiles as you can. As you do, ask yourself which ones you'd respond to and which ones you'd stay a state away from.

And don't be in a hurry. The ladies here can sense that in what you write. This isn't a quick fix like BackPage, you're going to have to be patient. Best of luck to you.



LafayetteLady -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 2:52:38 PM)

"We share similar interests"...translation..."I didn't read your profile, only your kink list."

Now, I'm not a sub, but when I was if I had read your profile (although I don't meet some of your criteria), I would have seen that you are looking for a woman you can keep secret and out of your "real" life. I would have question your values and level of commitment because you are looking for only married or otherwise commited wome, with no mention of them being in an open relationship.

Your email tells me that you are over eager because it is an obvious cut and paste, and no one wants to be one of 30 you threw a line to in the hopes one will bite. It reaks of desperation as do your journal posts.

BDSM involves a great deal of trust. How do you trust someone who will lie to what should be the most important person in their life, their spouse? How does one trust someone willing to help another be duplicitious? How do you trust someone who essentially wants you as their "dirty little secret?"

Perhaps along with reading the TOS for the site, you should utilize this little time out to ruminate on the above. It could help you ultimately find what you seek.



MistressDarkArt -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 7:13:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminChi

quote:

writing the same thing differently about me every time is a lot of time wasted.


The different part does not need to be about you, but about her.



This ^^^

You'll have a much better chance connecting if you take this advice to heart. Welcome to the boards, and best of luck.



Rule -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 7:50:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: johnnymars
I got blocked

Yep. But see it from the bright side: you have got a proven aptitude for the direct mail business. This has opened a career opportunity for you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: johnnymars
all of the people I have mailed with that message and other more personalized ones have this red text on them telling people I am suspect

Well duh!



jlf1961 -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 7:55:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminChi

I am a Forum moderator, but I will try to help you. Anyway, Support cannot help you, as the spam block is automatic. It will be off in a day or two. No one, including tech support, knows exactly how many messages in what time period will trigger the spam filter, but people who take the time to craft individual, personalized messages do not trigger it.

I recommend you not include your email address as this will make you seem overeager.

angelikaJ really gave you all the info you need. She was quoting from http://www.collarme.com/personals/help.htm



GPS coordinates are okay then, along with google turn by turn directions?



ExiledTyrant -> RE: I was blocked (3/14/2014 8:05:57 PM)

Every time this thing scrolls by, I think of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIP369aJE_E



windchymes -> RE: I was blocked (3/15/2014 9:04:27 AM)

I do realize you're new and had good intentions. But people are wiser and pickier about personal ads these days, so those types of "throwing it out there and see what comes back" approaches have a much greater chance of getting blocked or at least ignored by the recipient. I won't answer them, either.

You need to personalize the contacts, give them a reason to write back other than your profile.

And accept that, in many cases, no matter how great your email and profile are, you STILL won't get a response. Keep in mind that, on sites like these, a lot of those "women" whose ads appeal to you are men posing as women and scammers hoping to get money out of you. Just plug away, don't expect immediate success, hang out in here and make some friends. It's like free education in the ways of this world [;)]



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