quote:

ORIGINAL: LongDistDom

Personally, I like to get to know subs before doing much, though playing a bit on the first day is always fine.

My question, now, is: Subs, would you rather a Dom/Master talk and get to know you first, or learn you with actions?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Have you ever met any of these women in person? If it's totally online that could change a person's perception of 'action.'

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbibear

I am a male submissive, so my perspective may not be what you are specifically looking for, so forgive me if this is information that is superfluous to you. I've read through your profile and you Sir sound like you really do have a good heart and a good head on your shoulders. I see nothing wrong with your experience being long distance so far. It is safe, sane, consensual, risk aware, all the things that we preach in this community. When you are ready to reach out within your local community, there are munches to attend in your area where you can meet local people, network and if you choose eventually start attending events and parties.

Speaking for myself as a sub, in direct response to your question, I would always prefer to get to know a dominant as a person first, not just their kinks, but who they are, where they are coming from socially, philosophically, emotionally, spiritually and pretty much on any level that you can name. For me this applies to online play and play in the flesh. Now, I am 48 years old, I spent much of my youth, by youth I mean my 20's and 30's, learning very hard lessons by making a ton of very bad decisions about casual play and impulsive actions. These lessons got me to the place I am today with regard to that idea of wanting to really know who I am going to play with before I ever give up even a modicum of power.

I really don't want others to have to learn those lessons the same way I did, though I do know that some people will. It sounds like you may not have to, and that is in your favor. So I encourage you to stick with what you apparently already feel is right for you. Get to know the people who you decide to play with, take it in the steps you describe in your profile, take pride in being so beautifully self aware at such a point in life! Move on to local in the flesh play when it feels right and only when it feels right. Keep reaching out to other doms for feedback and the chance to learn. READ READ READ. There are a plethora of good books out there about this lifestyle.

And keep asking questions. 28 years ahead of you and I am still doing that. I have tons of stuff to learn yet.