When was a watershed moment in the lifestyle?

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When was a watershed moment in the lifestyle? - 7/7/2006 10:04:12 PM

subacceptance

Posts: 19
Joined: 1/8/2006
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Earlier this evening I was a writing a response to MsCarolynn52 about how I ended up as a submissive or perhaps my transformation from vanilla to submissive to slave. I was thinking what was a watershed moment, a time/place when something clarified or jelled in my head, that put things in perspective, saw myself in a new light whatever.

I guess for me, it was in my mid 30s, when I met the woman that introduced my to BDSM. At the time I lived in Miami and was an avid cyclist. Consequently I shaved my legs etc. We were roommates and once she saw me shaving them joked she could do a better job, she had more experience. Ok, thats cool, so she started to shave my legs on a regular basis. But she also started to nick them too & would apply perioxide to the cut. Of course it stung like hell and she started to kiss it to make it feel better. So it was a conditioning to pain and pleasure she later told me, to guage my reaction. Well as time went, it happened more and more, and then one time looked at me and said, "Do you want the pain or pleasure, I responded the pain". Later that evening she told me she could take my body to places I'd never imagined, that to trust her, open my mind to what she was going to do. Well I had a bigger glass a wine and figured why not. She used a couple of my ties to restrain me and used a riding crop on me. Pleased with my response, she said she wasnt sure how I would react to this, she said the next night would be different. The next night was leather restraints and that pain could feel very good.
Relateded to that but prior, in the winter on cold mornings, I complained to her about the cold until my body warmed up on the ride. She suggested I wear woman's panty hose. We went shopping it was a bit awkward, however once we got home & she told me she wanted to see how I looked in them, so I tried them on for her. I remember her comment at the time, "You'll learn to love them". I thought very odd comment then. A few months later, I was told to wear panties/nylons under my suit.

Those were watershed moments.

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RE: When was a watershed moment in the lifestyle? - 7/7/2006 11:03:37 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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Thank you for sharing that subacceptance. :)

I will never forget the instant when I went from thinking myself submissive and independent, though collared, to realizing I was owned and, in actuality, enslaved.

A bit of history. I never embraced the idea of slavery and there are a variety of reasons, not the least of which were the preconceived notions I carried. To me slave was equal to doormat. I saw slaves as weak, powerless and delusional. It's not that I regret that attitude now, but I do see it as a very narrow view brought on by ignorance. I did everything in my power to try to talk those poor creatures out of their slavery so that would be saved and come into their own as humans, for certainly slaves were nothing but a step above livestock.

Fast forward to a simple day about three years ago. Master and I were horsing around in the hallway and I made some wiseass comment to the effect of.. "blah, blah.. I can always leave you know!"

He grabbed my arm and stared me straight in the eye and said (and I'll never forget these words.) "You can't leave. You don't have the power. You're a slave."

It was in that instant that it hit me. He was right and he knew it long before I did. I had neither the desire nor the will power to leave .. and such is my lot to this day and I thrive on it.

For the first 7 years of our relationship, he was my dom. For the last 3 years, he has been Master.. and I slave.

That was my own watershed moment.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: When was a watershed moment in the lifestyle? - 7/8/2006 4:54:12 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
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The moment it really all came together for me, one where all the little pieces fell into place, was several years ago. All it took was the right person (who turned out not to be right in any other sense) to recognize exactly what it was I was searching for and trying to achieve. I didn't have a name for what I was doing. I didn't even really know it was what I was craving. This guy did.

I walked into a hotel room with him. He told me to shut the door in a very forceful voice. I was a bit taken aback, but I did it out of shock. I turned around and he slapped me as hard as he could. Then he grabbed my hair and told me what a slut I was and how I was going to be very good to him. The rest is history. That night things came together in my head and gelled into a very deep desire for this lifestyle. I couldn't have gone back if I wanted to. It brought out something so primal, so animal, so intense that I couldn't fathom life without it.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

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RE: When was a watershed moment in the lifestyle? - 7/8/2006 5:26:49 AM

JessieMe

Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
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I am still waiting for my watershed moment..

_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

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RE: When was a watershed moment in the lifestyle? - 7/8/2006 5:58:14 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
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It was an erotic, but simple, scene. The dominant had me lie on the bed, close my eyes, and told me not to move or speak. He turned off the lights, and he was silent as well. He used a bit of silk for what I later referred to as sensuous torture. He flicked it across my skin, ran it over all my body parts again and again. My body was afire with lust and longing. He kept doing it, slowly; it seemed for an eternity. I was so aroused I wanted to grab him and fuck his brains out but the cloth continued to gently tease me. I was going nuts, wanting more intense stimulation, wanting MORE, wanting, wanting, wanting...........
When it became apparent to me that he was in no hurry, that he intended to keep on doing what he was doing, I relaxed my body and my thoughts. I stopped anticipating what might happen next and started simply enjoying what was happening now. I have no idea how long it continued, but every moment was awash in sensations.
I had no coherent thoughts at the time, but later I realized that submission is not about wanting, it is about accepting.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

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