RE: What if Play turns into Love?

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RE: What if Play turns into Love? - 7/8/2006 6:36:05 PM

pattiann

Posts: 48
Joined: 7/2/2006
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Everyone has been so helpful in answering this question. I have much soul searching left to do and I know that my Sir will encourage that. What is truly amazing is that there seems to be so much more communication of feelings in the D/s relationship than in the beginning of a vanilla relationship. Perhaps it is because in this instance I am not merely 'playing'. This is who I am. I am hoping that the trust that I am putting in him is cherished and that his isn't 'playing' at being Dom.
Folks, I am going slowly and treading lightly. *throws kisses*

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RE: What if Play turns into Love? - 7/8/2006 6:40:57 PM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
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I had the same thing. I was on another "dating site", AFF, and met many for a "first date". All were nice...really great men, actually, but no "spark". Then, just when I was tired of it all, not going to renew my membership, He came into the mix. I barely gave him a second glance...so tired of it all.

There is/was a definite connection. Honestly, I'm in L O V E. Just pace yourself. Remember..nothing ventured, nothing gained. None of us wants a broken heart...don't frown on gifts, just TRY to keep your senses about you.

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

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RE: What if Play turns into Love? - 7/8/2006 7:45:53 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
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Well, to me that would be the ideal.
To meet a sub woman in here, have her move in with me and fall in love with each other.

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RE: What if Play turns into Love? - 7/8/2006 8:09:17 PM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
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Okay, trying to only do this from my experience only. I am not judging what you or anyone else has done.

Where you are at now.. is so wonderful. You have had such bad relationships in the past, now you have found someone that can sort of take that part away. What I mean is, he can protect you in a way... or you think he can... and he seems to want to get deep into your thoughts..and care about your emotions like no one else has. It makes your heart skip, your lips smile, probably turns you on a bit..and makes you feel wanted and desired. It's like nothing you have known or think you can know with another.. bliss for lack of a better word..

This is very normal.. it's part of the "frenzy" and most of us have it at some point maybe more than once.

Yes, it could be love.. it's very possible. Will it hurt like hell when it or if it ends.. Yes, it will. It's all about the risk..and how much it is worth to you. Sometimes, I wish I hadn't done what I did, but for a little bit.. I was very happy. Also, I learned a lot from it..from the pain..from the experience...that is what life is all about.

I don't know which you have.. if either.. only you can examine and know what your thoughts and feelings are. It's a long road that you are on, still learning and discovering.. it's bumpy, it shifts, the pot holes will knock you on your ass..but eventually when you get "home" with yours at last..it will seem like it was as smooth as silk and all the road blocks will be forgotten.

I wish you much luck, Andrea

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

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RE: What if Play turns into Love? - 7/16/2006 4:56:09 PM

jonathan

Posts: 196
Joined: 8/5/2004
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Everyone responding here has had something worthwhile to say, the most important being that until you have experienced it, you cannot imagine the sublime transcendence that can occur in this situation (it was mylittlesub, i believe). my first real Domme and i went through that moment about two months after meeting and starting a relationship. We were in my loft one weekend morning, talking about the state of things and what we wanted to do that weekend, and just looked at each other and said the same thing, "I didn't expect to like you this much." [It started out as purely play.] The intersection on a vanilla level was what fueled it. That was about 15 years ago and my heart's been through the meat grinder a few times since and i hope that i've been smart enough to learn the signs that say, emotionally, to "run away, run away".

The key to survival is being able to separate the two in your own mind. Putting the desire for BDSM fulfillment to the side and honestly asking yourself if you'd feel the same way on a purely vanilla level. That's the difference between love and just bonding with your Domme. i've sought the former since, having experienced it once. my take on it all since that time has always been a vanilla foundation with a devoted D/s superstructure. This is what has been happening with my Goddess the past several weeks, and i'm counting the days until our first meeting next month. She, as the guiding force of course, has kept it that way, more interested in me as a man than as a fantasy. i may never be more than Her boy, but i know that She'll claim me as that for who i am. And i'll serve Her out of the affection that i already have.

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http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

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RE: What if Play turns into Love? - 7/16/2006 6:08:26 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
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What you are falling in love with is a mirror into YOUR soul, not his. It is an illusion projected by your mind on someone whom you barely know. Sure you find out all about the girl in the eight grade who broke his heart and other secrets, but there is vastly more to what makes a person.

Playing online is so fucked up for this precise reason, it is so intense not because it is somehow more real but precisely because it isn't real.

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RE: What if Play turns into Love? - 7/16/2006 7:39:31 PM

KnightofMists

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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don't risk what you can't afford to lose! But if you don't risk you gain nothing... for risk is an inherent part of relationships.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: What if Play turns into Love? - 7/16/2006 7:53:32 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
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*fast reply*

Sweets, there's a couple things that give me pause. One, he has a girlfriend and just wants to make time till he sees her again. Does she know this? Also, do you truly want to play second fiddle?

Can you can go into this with your eyes wide open, accepting that you may well fall head over heels for this guy and know that it will end, regardless of how you feel? Knowing that it will damn well hurt and hurt deeply? Is that a risk you're willing to take?

Sure, it's possible he may fall for you too and decide to dump his long distance girl, but you can't hang your hopes on that, you must be fully cognizant that fantasies don't always become realities.

Do you feel strong enough to deal with the fallout? Even if you part on friendly terms, if you've fallen for the guy, there will be pain. Can you handle that?

Be extremely honest with yourself, do what is best for you in the long run. Batteries are cheaper than your heart.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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