RE: NO Safeword...??

RE: NO Safeword...?? (Full Version)

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ARIES83 -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/23/2014 5:59:38 PM)
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FightingChains -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/23/2014 6:05:29 PM)
Damn fire ants... That sounds like fun. Unfortunately that's the problem with being a sadist and a masochist like me... Any creative sadistic ideas I find or come up with I'll probably become the victim of... [:o][&:][8D]

StrongSpirit -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/23/2014 8:43:45 PM)
Safewords are really only needed for role playing. If you are doing just sadism/masochism then you can easily do without them without any roleplaying, you don't need them. But not respecting limits is definitely something that everyone should do. The only difference between BDSM and rape are respecting limits. He is claiming to be a rapist, not a dominant man. The refusal to do so demonstrates stupidity, arrogance, inexperience, and the inability to tell the difference between reality and fiction.

frunandsins -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/23/2014 9:44:42 PM)
Hmm... not to be a wet blanket, but fire ants are a nuisance pest, and should not be introduced into regions where they can become dominant. And even if you're in a region where fire ants are already present, you should still think twice about bringing them to your neighborhood. Unless, of course, they're already in your backyard. In which case, save the money on a terminator and solicit for a sub, instead? To atone for my fun-killing, may I suggest stinging nettle and poison ivy instead? Something that can bring similar sensations but which is easily treatable with otc creams and ointments after play.

littlewonder -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/23/2014 9:57:10 PM)
meh. I've been stung by fire ants. They're prevalent pretty much everywhere I've ever lived. I also grew up on a farm so stinging nettles and poison ivy was a normal occurrence. All three are fucking painful. [:(]

FightingChains -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/23/2014 10:42:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: frunandsins Hmm... not to be a wet blanket, but fire ants are a nuisance pest, and should not be introduced into regions where they can become dominant. And even if you're in a region where fire ants are already present, you should still think twice about bringing them to your neighborhood. Unless, of course, they're already in your backyard. In which case, save the money on a terminator and solicit for a sub, instead? To atone for my fun-killing, may I suggest stinging nettle and poison ivy instead? Something that can bring similar sensations but which is easily treatable with otc creams and ointments after play. Heh nice. I agree. Fire ants aren't a good idea unless you can seriously control the fuckers. Though the majority of the time I prefer more brutal beatings, lashings, heavy impact play etc. Creative agony is fun, but you can't go past dark brutality at times. Ok, back on topic: Safewords!

UllrsIshtar -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/23/2014 11:53:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: frunandsins fire ants are a nuisance pest, and should not be introduced into regions where they can become dominant. We're talking vials of fire ants intended for ant farms. These don't have queens, don't have a way to procreate and will all be death in about 20 days no matter what. You could happily release them in your kitchen and it wouldn't really be that big of a deal.

Blueswordsman -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/24/2014 6:12:22 AM)
Wow .... What ever happened to fun, power exchange, imagination and safewords? I think the safeword post has turned into "Real sadists don't need safewords. Real mascchists do. e.g. Masochists prefer fear more than pain. Sadists think a scratch is knife play. Fire ants can replacing gerbils. Plus a list of NOs longer than my list of Musts.

MasterCaneman -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/24/2014 8:00:53 AM)
I think some folks have forgotten what it's like the first few times they're with someone, and don't 'know' their limits yet. I'll reiterate, when I began, the 'safeword' was a foreign concept to both me and some of my play partners. It wasn't until I hooked up with a woman who'd been in the scene for quite some time longer than I had revealed that to me during our pre-scene negotiations. "Okay, my safeword is 'Jordan' (from the river that runs through SLC)." To which I replied, "What's a 'safeword?", which began a long and interesting conversation when I thought we'd be getting it on. Yeah, after you've been with someone a couple of months/years, you get the feeling for when it becomes too much, but day one through thirty means you need a safety switch so they don't get hurt/killed and you don't get charged with a crime. While she and I didn't hit it off down the road, we did part as friends, and I learned a lot from that woman.

DesFIP -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/24/2014 8:37:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: frunandsins To atone for my fun-killing, may I suggest poison ivy instead? Something that can bring similar sensations but which is easily treatable with otc creams and ointments after play. You apparently don't realize that reactions to poison ivy becomes more extreme with repeated exposure. And some of us require not otc creams, but two week courses of steroids to deal with the reaction. And permanent scarring from scratching in your sleep is always a possibility.

kalikshama -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/24/2014 9:16:04 AM)
quote: By this time Kana is sulking and REALLY in the mood to punish me. So he puts on "barney the dinosaur" on an iPhone in loop on full blast and leaves the room. A few hours later he can hear me screaming 'safe word' off the top of my lungs and hissing 'hard limit' as soon as he enters the room. Upset he unties me and tells me "fine, if you don't want to play, I'm not going to either anymore". I had to "safe-snap" last week during a scene that involved "Bob's Burgers." /shudders/

LadyPact -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/24/2014 10:42:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman Wow .... What ever happened to fun, power exchange, imagination and safewords? Sadists think a scratch is knife play. Completely off topic...... Knife play doesn't have to be about cutting. It can just be a scratch to enjoy a person's fear. That particular picture probably doesn't mean anything to anyone else. It was about what was being felt at the moment. No, it doesn't come through in the shot, but it was the reaction that I got when the cold metal went across his chest. The terror in his eyes as he looked into Mine. Knowing I had power over his physical form. Oh, yes.... This sadist will take something like that in a heartbeat. Not all sadism is physical.

Blueswordsman -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/24/2014 11:54:19 AM)
The fear of what will he do If I don't ... exceeds scratches.

Blueswordsman -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/24/2014 12:02:00 PM)
OK?

UllrsIshtar -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/24/2014 1:05:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman I think some folks have forgotten what it's like the first few times they're with someone, and don't 'know' their limits yet. Yeah, after you've been with someone a couple of months/years, you get the feeling for when it becomes too much, but day one through thirty means you need a safety switch so they don't get hurt/killed and you don't get charged with a crime. I'm not in the least bit suggesting that people shouldn't discuss stuff before playing. What I'm arguing against -and frankly upset about- is that people are holding a list of limits and a safe word as a 'safety belt', posing that playing without them is somehow 'dangerous' instead of recognizing that it's communication that's important, and it doesn't matter what form that communication takes. General: I've asked over and over again now, but the crowd that keeps telling me I'm insane for not deeming it necessary to play with limits keeps refusing to answer: How exactly do safe words and limits make you safer? And how exactly does playing without them make you unsafe?

Blueswordsman -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/24/2014 1:37:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar it's communication that's important, and it doesn't matter what form that communication takes . I agree communication is the key and you don't need to be specific. Just light conversation "What do you find thrilling" "Ever fulfill a fantasy" "What do you think of...", etc. will set the stage. However, your excellent point is miles away from. No Limits or safewords will be honored

UllrsIshtar -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/24/2014 1:58:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman However, your excellent point is miles away from. No Limits or safewords will be honored [/color] Not at all. My husband doesn't honor limits or safe words. Neither did my ex. With both this was stated upfront, before meeting them, in a non-bullshit manner. That doesn't mean that we don't communicate. Nor does it mean that, if I had a latex allergy I wouldn't tell him, or that after telling him he'd go out of his way to dress me in latex. What it means is just what it says: he does not honor my prerogative to put limits on him, nor is he going to abide by a command for him to stop by means of a safe word. That doesn't mean that he's not going to think "hmmm, a latex catsuit would have her end up in the emergency room, and I still want to do X tonight, so I'm not going to use latex on her". I don't see how the fact that he doesn't honor a safeword or hardlimits with me implies in the slightest that we don't communicate. We do communicate. We communicate by me indicating preferences instead of rules for him. When an s-type lays down a safeword and hardlimits what they are doing is saying "here are the rules you HAVE to abide by during our play lest you break my consent". I don't have such rules for him, and trying to implement them would mean the end of us playing, forever. That's what "I don't honor limits of safewords" means: he doesn't play with people who expect to use rules and dictums to limit his choices.

Blueswordsman -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/24/2014 2:32:10 PM)
I believe the OP was referring to a Dominant profile that stated no limits or safeword will be honored. I consider ...stating upfront, before meeting them, in a non-bullshit manner .... very risky but a limited establishment of boundaries. Just curious if you were looking for someone to play with, would you consider messaging with a CM Dom who's profile read "No limits or safeword will be honored? And meant it?

UllrsIshtar -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/24/2014 3:00:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman Just curious if you were looking for someone to play with, would you consider messaging with a CM Dom who's profile read "No limits or safeword will be honored? And meant it? It depends on the rest of the profile, but I certainly wouldn't discount them for it. As I've already said, both my ex as well as my husband said as much in their profiles and emails before meeting me, though not literally phrased like that. In fact, if they are somebody who plays without limits and safewords I very much demands that they make this clear in their initial impression. I wouldn't take well to somebody leaving out such a crucial piece of information until later in the courting process.

FightingChains -> RE: NO Safeword...?? (3/24/2014 3:03:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar What I'm arguing against -and frankly upset about- is that people are holding a list of limits and a safe word as a 'safety belt', posing that playing without them is somehow 'dangerous' instead of recognizing that it's communication that's important, and it doesn't matter what form that communication takes. I completely agree and have said so. However you chose to communicate, that is what's important. I communicate danger and hard limits via a certain word, but whatever works for you. The profile is saying "no limits, and no safewords" reads to me that "I won't accept hard limits - I do what I want, and I will go as hard as I like." Which is fair enough, if that's what you are into. I just happen to use a safeword FOR communication. But that's just me. [:)] I do agree and appreciate your point.

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