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Marriage and Femdom - 7/8/2006 7:20:59 AM

PhDslave

Posts: 74
Joined: 9/24/2005
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i'm seeking insights from Women who have been in Femdom marriages. This is a very open-ended question, but do you have any thoughts, observations or opinions regarding marriage within a Female Dominant context. There have been threads about this before, but i'm wondering if you have things that you could offer that haven't been addressed in previous posts. It could be profound or quite trivial. i'm thinking of 'marriage' in this context as a legal binding contract. You know, the vows, the ring, etc...the whole bit. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

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RE: Marriage and Femdom - 7/8/2006 7:36:45 AM

DianeB

Posts: 166
Joined: 1/30/2006
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I've been married for 30 years with no problems.

< Message edited by DianeB -- 7/8/2006 7:39:20 AM >

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RE: Marriage and Femdom - 7/8/2006 9:05:38 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

I've been married almost 8 years now. No problems aside from typical ones you'd find in any marriage. Our relationship has certainly evolved though throughout the years. Again, nothing fidderent than any other long term committed relationship.

Do you have any specific concerns?

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-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

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RE: Marriage and Femdom - 7/8/2006 9:17:25 AM

PhDslave

Posts: 74
Joined: 9/24/2005
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Dear Ms Kat Houston,

No specific concerns. i'm just trying to get as much information as possible. Ideally, for me, a Femdom marriage would seem to elicit a depth of love and devotion not as easily tapped in vanilla relationships. Again, this is just me and i'm not rushing into anything. A strong, loving bond is the goal and Femdom seems to be the most effective, yet exciting, way to get there. 'Playing' or sessions don't do anything for me. So...if anyone has any thoughts of any kind about Femdom marriages...Einsteinian profound or complete drivel...i'm interested.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

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RE: Marriage and Femdom - 7/8/2006 10:47:31 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
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While its not the traditional marriage...I have been with bishop for 7 years,no problems except the ones that happen when married with kids.

I wouldnt even call them problems...more like obstacles you have to jump over every once in awhile.

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Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

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RE: Marriage and Femdom - 7/8/2006 11:20:14 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

I almost married my boy that I released in the mid 90's. I only bring this up to indicate that I have no direct expereince with a FemDom oriented marriage. I didn't because he began to have a change of attitude and was less than submissive much of the time, among other reasons.
That said, I really see no difference. As long as the parties are aware and have worked out the dynamic of the relationship, there should be no problem other than the normal ones in any relationship, married or not.
This is about a relationship and the dynamic that makes the people involved the most fulfilled. If the slave is happy and the Dominant is amenable, there is no reason not to take it the additional step if one prefers the legal sanction of the state and/or a blessing from the higher power of choice.
There are plenty of M/s or D/s, as well as Dom/Domme and sub/sub married couples who are active on this site and on these boards. A FemDom based marriage is only a female led relationship. And that means you are giving over your power or authority or possibly even your ability to compromise, to the Lady you choose, and who chooses you. Be careful what you wish for! *Smile* I see your profile says you are new to WIITWD.
After all, what goes on behind your closed doors is really nobody else's business as long as it is SSC.

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Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

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RE: Marriage and Femdom - 7/8/2006 1:50:27 PM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

I think that marriage and female domination is the perfect union. Doesnt get any better then that.

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RE: Marriage and Femdom - 7/9/2006 9:37:55 AM

MistressTaboo

Posts: 147
Joined: 6/10/2005
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I've been married to my slave for 6yrs now...we even have kids...
He works outside the home and I stay home...it's not always easy and it's hard to balance...but I truly believe we have the best of both worlds. The only time we have problems is when he thinks of himself as a husband and not a submissive. It requires lots of communication and energy...but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Mistress Taboo

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(in reply to DiannaVesta)

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RE: Marriage and Femdom - 7/9/2006 12:47:59 PM

PhDslave

Posts: 74
Joined: 9/24/2005
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Okay....thank you for the observations so far. How about this? You are now or have been in a long term exclusive relationship with a male slave. This broadens thing a little. What issues came up for which you both were unprepared? What is likely to come up? i'm not referring to the typical issues that vanilla couples face, but things that are more of less unique to a Femdom/malesub LTR or marriage. What surprised you when you entered into this arrangement? What would you do differently? How prepared were you two? Was your slave knowledgeable about the lifestyle? Were you? Did you break him in slowly or quickly? How did that work? How would you rate the level of intimacy between you and him? (Not talking primarily about sex). Is he your best friend? Any thoughts on your part would be appreciated?

PhDslave

(in reply to MistressTaboo)

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RE: Marriage and Femdom - 7/10/2006 4:43:42 AM

totalservant

Posts: 32
Joined: 7/8/2005
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well I have been married to a domme, but it was only so she could legally stay and work in Europe. That was before same sex marriages (she and her lover) were allowed. It really did not mean anything...except it was good use of me for her..As a bonus. it did got me a green card while she is still in Europe.

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RE: Marriage and Femdom - 7/10/2006 3:47:59 PM

PhDslave

Posts: 74
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Would those of You in Femdom marriages or long term union confirm or deny my feeling/hope/aspiration that the male's love and devotion to his Wife/Mistress is more profound than what You see in other marriages or LTR's. This, of course, is totally subjective. i understand that, but believe it has validity nonetheless. For those of You who are formally married: did his submission intensify or level off after you were married?

(in reply to totalservant)

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RE: Marriage and Femdom - 7/10/2006 4:21:23 PM

Domme4femaleONLY

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Joined: 7/7/2006
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PhD I have been married to my submissive for the last 6 years. I collared him before I married him. It has all worked out great...now...but there was 6 months where he slid and took up the husband part in his mind too many times...meaning showing me too much testosterone. I punished him and had him begin a journal to straighten him out, after making him write an essay on how he was sub first, married second. If this is something that you are contemplating make sure that it is openly discussed about what each expects of the other in the union.

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RE: Marriage and Femdom - 7/10/2006 4:39:08 PM

PhDslave

Posts: 74
Joined: 9/24/2005
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Thank You Domme4femaleOnly,

i appreciate Your firsthand experience. Yes, this IS something that is important to me. Oddly, i don't find playing or 'submitting' outside of a relationship appealing at all. It looks and felt empty. i'm at the searching stage and plenty nervous because this would be life changing and i would be so emotionally vulnerable. Journaling sounds like a great way for a slave husband to be able to express his thoughts in a nonthreatening way. Great idea on Your part. Which reminds me...i've talked with and read about couples who go through different intensity levels within a Femdom LTR/marriage and occasionally it drifts over into vanilla or near-vanilla territory before someone realizes it and asks to rekindle the old Femdom dynamic. Has this happened to anyone?

(in reply to Domme4femaleONLY)

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RE: Marriage and Femdom - 7/10/2006 5:01:29 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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Neets and I have been married for 5 years in September and were together 5 years before that 9 of them in the Gorean Lifestyles. I'd figure we have another 40 years at least ahead of us.. As most know Neets is my wife, Free Companion and a Gorean Mistress.

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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