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RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 12:45:10 PM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
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Hmmm, something about grabbing that brass ring doesn't "ring" true to advice you gave me last year but I gave my opinion and I'm sure you will do what is right for you.

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Post #: 21

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 12:49:45 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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Cutting, sharp instruments, blood and marks . . . what's not hot about that? No wonder it is in your thoughts. It's in mine too now that you mentioned it!

Just as a reference about duration of marks, when cutting with a scalpel, it took about 6 months for these to completely fade away. But there was some punching that made it take longer to heal.

https://fetlife.com/users/572435/pictures

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Post #: 22

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 12:50:27 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain
Hmmm, something about grabbing that brass ring doesn't "ring" true to advice you gave me last year but I gave my opinion and I'm sure you will do what is right for you.

I will give My sincerest apologies. Last year, I didn't know what it was like to be "in love" with a submissive man before.

Things are different now.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Post #: 23

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 12:58:48 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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~As somebody who still has a permanent ownership mark still on them, from a relationship that no longer is~

I'd say go for it, providing that:

- the energy is right
- he wants it too
- he sees his body as the roadmap of who he is and where he's been and doesn't equate his scars and history to 'damage'

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I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
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You love me for everything you hate me for

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Post #: 24

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 1:07:05 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
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You are in the throes of NRE. This is the first time you have been "in love" with a sub. How long have you been together? How will you feel in six months? A year? Five years? How will he feel in each of those time frames? How will either/both of you feel if the relationship ends? What about if it ends the same way the last one did? Have you considered the answers to these questions?

If you can honestly say both of you have considered all the possibilities, including that it might end tomorrow with the same acrimony as your last long-term relationship, and you both feel good about him getting the mark, then go for it. If the answer to any of those questions is "I don't know" or "One/both of us wouldn't feel good about him having a mark" then don't.

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Post #: 25

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 1:09:55 PM

FightingChains

Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

~As somebody who still has a permanent ownership mark still on them, from a relationship that no longer is~

I'd say go for it, providing that:

- the energy is right
- he wants it too
- he sees his body as the roadmap of who he is and where he's been and doesn't equate his scars and history to 'damage'

Yeah, I just worry about the last point.

While I see the point of people saying "he's yours, do what you like with him" there's also a responsibility on the dominant to look out for the submissive. This advice goes along with the "don't tattoo your lover's name on you" advice because what if things go sour. Just because he doesn't view it as a matter of damage now, doesn't mean he will never do so.

I'm new here, so... you maybe shouldn't take my advice... but I'd have difficulty doing this to my partner, and we want to get married when it becomes legal. I view him as my property and myself as his, and... well... It wouldn't be fair on him.

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Post #: 26

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 1:34:46 PM

UllrsIshtar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

This advice goes along with the "don't tattoo your lover's name on you" advice because what if things go sour. Just because he doesn't view it as a matter of damage now, doesn't mean he will never do so.

That's the thing: some people do, and some people don't.
Some people have negative connotations to pieces of them that have negative history, when others see it as part of the whole package.

The mark I have is a tattoo, in the form of a cattle brand, it's the remnant of a relationship where there are more hard feelings left than LP has with her ex, if you believe that. And yet, I don't regret getting it, or it being there. I knew I wouldn't before I got it, because of the relationship I have with my body and its marks; just like I don't regret my stretchmarks from being pregnant.

*My* relationship with my body is such that I know I wouldn't regret a tat or a mark of somebody's name, because of my relationship with how my body bares the history of where I've been, and who I've been. There's few people out there like that, it seems, but if LPs sub is like that, putting a mark on him is a pretty safe bet.
If he's not like that, the idea to mark him should be considered VERY carefully... which I think she's doing.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 3/24/2014 2:04:46 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to FightingChains)

Post #: 27

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 1:38:13 PM

Blonderfluff

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From: Down the Shore
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From an /s POV. I love permanent marks. I have tattoos. If it were me, I would relish a mark from someone I loved. Not so much a name ( I hate those) but something that had meaning. Even if the relationship has ended, I love having permanent reminders of significant events and relationships.

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Post #: 28

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 1:53:44 PM

FightingChains

Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

This advice goes along with the "don't tattoo your lover's name on you" advice because what if things go sour. Just because he doesn't view it as a matter of damage now, doesn't mean he will never do so.

That's the thing: some people do, and some people don't.
Some people have negative connotations to pieces of them that have negative history, when others see it as part of the whole package.

The mark I have is a tattoo, in the form of a cattle brand, it's the remnant of a relationship where there are more hard feelings left than LP has with her ex, if you believe that. And yet, I don't regret getting it, or it being there. I knew I wouldn't before I got it, because of the relationship I have with my body and its marks any more just like I don't regret my stretchmarks from being pregnant.

*My* relationship with my body is such that I know I wouldn't regret a tat or a mark of somebody's name, because of my relationship with how my body bears the history of where I've been, and who I've been. There's few people out there like that, it seems, but if LPs sub is like that, putting a mark on him is a pretty safe bet.
If he's not like that, the idea to mark him should be considered VERY carefully... which I think she's doing.

I think my issue here is: can you really know this for sure, before you do this? Can you be sure your sub would be ok with it for all time. I'm just suggesting caution.

I personally love scars from brutal lashings and beatings and cuts, but names etc might be a bit of a trigger. I simply don't know.

I didn't mean to say "no" - just urging caution.

< Message edited by FightingChains -- 3/24/2014 1:57:04 PM >

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Post #: 29

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 2:03:34 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

I think my issue here is: can you really know this for sure, before you do this?

Can a person be sure about themselves that this is how they'd react, before doing it?
Yes they can. If they're self aware about their own relationship with their body.

Some people know they'd be upset about a name mark if the relationship would ever end, and so don't get one. Other people are able to know they won't be upset, regardless of how or why the relationship ended, and so could opt to get one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

Can you be sure your sub would be ok with it for all time.

Nope you can't. You can't every truly be sure how another person is going to react after they're not longer in a relationship with you. They may say that they themselves know how they'll will react, and that might be true, but there is no way you can know for sure that they're right.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

I didn't mean to say "no" - just urging caution.

I agree that using caution is the way to go.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to FightingChains)

Post #: 30

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 2:41:00 PM

petitespot

Posts: 288
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Surfside Beach, SC
Status: offline

Fucking do it.
You only live once.

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Post #: 31

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 4:23:12 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I will give My sincerest apologies. Last year, I didn't know what it was like to be "in love" with a submissive man before.

Things are different now.

OK, this right here has all the ring of a giddy schoolgirl. On the strength of this alone I'd strongly urge at least a mandatory moratorium for a month or two. Like others, I have a lot of faith in your judgement but man, even Carol said, "This isn't boding well" -- not about the cutting, just about how giddy you seem and the impact that makes on anyone's decision making processes.

Also, Ishtar's response has a lot of wisdom in it.

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officially a member of the K Crowd

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Post #: 32

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 4:25:17 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

"If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation."
Osho

This is especially interesting to consider from a dominant/ submissive perspective... As possession features so prominently in that arena.

People aren't flowers, but feelings do inevitably change. How one deals with those changes reveals the truth about the person, and the picking.

A path strewn with petals bears witness to the fate of the narcissus. It's funny, that despite having trod that path, and knowing the sacrifice of flowers. I will still pick them, although (perhaps ironically) It's made me quite picky and it's only the most remarkable that I would consign to suffering at my hands.

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 3/24/2014 5:14:21 PM >

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Post #: 33

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 5:09:52 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

From an s perspective- I love semi/permanent marks. BUT I'd have to have been with you for a very, very, long time- and I wouldn't be into initials or a name.

but you're a pretty level headed lady, with loads of experience- which makes me feel like if you're questioning yourself- wait a little while. See how you feel about it later.

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Post #: 34

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 5:17:43 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Traditionally, permanent marks spell the death knell of a relationship.
To be honest, this sounds very frenzy like, NRE.

More important, have you broached the subject to him yet?

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Post #: 35

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 6:32:13 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
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What's NRE stand for?

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Post #: 36

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 6:53:23 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

New Relationship Energy

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Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

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Post #: 37

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 7:08:06 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Cuttings are pretty regular for us, something we do a lot. I enjoy them. They usually send me deep into subspace. He likes them as well.

Before Master I did cuttings all the time too. I did them with and without love. I was a Goth when I was a teenager and cuttings were almost always a part of sex, along with drinking the blood.

I don't do casual sex anymore so for me now, love has to be a part of it. But when I was young, nah....not needed at all.

ETA: I think with your moving soon and your feelings towards this guy are going to fuck with your head for awhile. I mean, is he going to be moving with you? If not, then you're probably wanting to mark him because you want him to be your property but he really can't because he won't be coming with. I think you might want to think about this and how all of this will affect you, new guy and MP.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 3/24/2014 7:16:10 PM >

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Post #: 38

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 9:56:01 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I want everyone to know that I appreciate their responses. Good, bad, or indifferent, I know I needed to hear them. I never want you guys to sugar coat stuff for Me. Unlike some, I want to know what you really think, rather than pat Me on the head.

People come here, at least semi-frequently, to ask if they should get the mark/tattoo/whatever. Giving that mark? That's a huge responsibility to Me. I don't do such things lightly.

For what it's worth, I haven't quite come to a decision yet. As much as I want this particular scene, I know My responsibilities. I'm not going to run out and do anything stupid. Wanting something and doing it are two different things.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 39

RE: I sooooo want to do this. - 3/24/2014 10:22:47 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

LP,
I guess I would ask have you talked to your sub about it? If you are both okay with it, I do not see anything wrong with it other than no names or initials. Might you consider cell popping as a "dry run"? Just a thought.

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Post #: 40

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