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InHisHeart -> RE: What do subs or slaves seek in a Master (3/30/2014 11:31:11 AM)
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I met my Master on a forum (not CM) and one thing I watched for before we became involved in-person was how he interacted with other members especially when a thread got heated or there were differences of opinions. He always kept his cool, he could state his POV or answer questions without being rude or disrespectful. That gave me some insight how he handles himself, if he was rude or lost his cool I would have lost all interest in getting to know him.
What I look for when meeting in-person is how he speaks to me, treats me and how he speaks to and treats others. He needs to want to know me and be interested in who I am, what makes me tick, what I'm passionate about in life not just me as a submissive, not just sexually or what kinks I'm into but me as a person and I want to know the same about him.
I look at how he handles everyday life, stresses, conflicts, etc. He needs to have self-control and not fly off the handle. If we're having a disagreement or problems we need to deal with in any part of our relationship, we can talk about it rationally without getting pissy, without tempers flaring, without getting disrespectful. Being able to easily communicate about anything and everything is very important to me, I'm not a mind reader and I won't play guessing games. I need to have the desire to submit to him, the desire to follow his lead, fulfill his commands not because he's a Dom but because he has what it takes for me to have the desire to please him. I'm affectionate, compassionate, understanding and want those things in him. The traits I look for in a Dom are the same traits I hold myself to. We need to be compatible in what we both want in the whole relationship. He can be an expert at swinging a flogger, he could be a great lay, he could be everything I want with BDSM but if he falls short of the things I want in a 24/7 Dom, in a long term relationship then he won't be in my life.
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