RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (Full Version)

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Rasciallymisty -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/29/2014 8:56:27 PM)

I am a mentor and happy to be so.  I am just a member like the rest of you......but I like helping New Members.  When I was asked if I would help I agreed to......if I wasn't asked I would still do so.  LMAO and we are far from a secret group. Should there be a list of  who we are....I think not....since we are just members like all of you. It would only give a few a chance to start more drama .....and for what???

I know nothing of FL nor do I wish to...I will leave that all of you. [:D]  I dislike drama and will not get involved in any of it....I simple turn my computer off and walk away.......just like I am going to do now.....Nite all.




MasterCaneman -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/29/2014 9:48:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

I only know a few of the mentors, please forgive me if I leave anybody out, but to mind spring Fluffy, MC, NBMG - all of them seem to be graced with the patience of saints

Aw gawrsh...

Crazyml, we have no hidden agenda or secrets. What you've been told is the sum total of our duties. That's it. There's nothing more beyond that. We're not mods, and I for one wouldn't want to do that job here. We're just trying to help out here.




NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/29/2014 10:15:11 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I think that to be a mentor you'd have to be quite even tempered and balanced, Lady C, so it's not really a job for a femdom.

Hey hey now! lol
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

I only know a few of the mentors, please forgive me if I leave anybody out, but to mind spring Fluffy, MC, NBMG - all of them seem to be graced with the patience of saints

Thank you!

NBMG




DaddySatyr -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/29/2014 10:35:55 PM)

See? You didn't meet with the approval of the Collar Chat Clique (C³). Doesn't this at least hint at the existence of such a clique? I think it smacks of it.

Your point is well made that if someone is volunteering their time to the betterment of a common goal, one would hope that petty disagreements could be put aside. One can live in hope.

By the way, you broke the first rule of C³; we don't talk about C³




quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

In the interests of disclosure, I was on the welcome wagon team and volunteered to be a mentor, but didn't make the cut because one or more of the existing mentors objected.

Now, I will admit that I was somewhat taken aback by the idea that people would be selected as mentors despite not having the maturity to work as part of a team with people that they don't like, but I support the idea in principle.





Screen captures RULE! Ya feel me?
Fuck 'em an' feed 'em green beans!




dcnovice -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/29/2014 11:29:36 PM)

quote:

Want a welfare check? Pee in a cup. That's what I do to EARN it for you.

What kind of work do you do that requires peeing in a cup?




Dvr22999874 -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/29/2014 11:37:10 PM)

Maybe makes coffee in some coffee shops I could name..............it certainly tastes like that




Dvr22999874 -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/29/2014 11:38:44 PM)

Or maybe he is Bud's head-brewer




TNDommeK -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/30/2014 3:10:33 AM)

I think ML would make a great mentor!!




crazyml -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/30/2014 3:30:35 AM)

That's very kind of you to say!

LadyC makes an excellent point that you don't need to be an official mentor to help make people feel at home, and from time to time I do make a bit of an effort to chime in to make newcomers feel welcome.

I do also reserve the right to point out when someone is being (in my entirely flawed and subjective opinion) obnoxious.

All of the people who I know to be mentors, bar one, are people I have a ton of respect for, even where we disagree at times.

One of them was, in my opinion, a fantastically poor choice.

What has ticked me off, is the fact that my sincere offer to help was rejected on the grounds that one or more of the existing group objected to me.

First, yeah, it's not nice to feel that you've been judged and found wanting in secret. So I will admit to a certain amount of face fanning and flounceage at the very idea that I should be considered the wrong sort. I would very much like to know who determined that they would be unhappy working with me, and why. If we did that, there is a possibility that I would learn something to my benefit, and even a possibility that the person or persons in question could learn something to theirs.

The fact that it was done in secret, and that I was initially told that new the group wasn't taking new members rather than that I was rejected is material though, as it is exactly the behaviour of a clique.

I would be very happy to hear from the person or persons who felt that they wouldn't be happy being in the same team as me, if only to understand better.

I would also be very happy to have an open discussion about the one mentor I am aware of who I think is a very poor choice of mentor, and whose identification with the mentoring program is likely to do more harm than good.





TNDommeK -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/30/2014 3:49:57 AM)

I guess I'm a babe in the woods on that one too, as I've heard nothing about that.




ARIES83 -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/30/2014 3:50:55 AM)

quote:

What has ticked me off, is the fact that my sincere offer to help was rejected on the grounds that one or more of the existing group objected to me.


They shouldn't have had a say... If someone felt they couldn't work with another volunteer then that's their problem.
I think you would have made a good mentor too... Pretty level headed, handles a conversation well... What more is there?
I don't think I've ever seen you be anything less than civil actually... Do you even know what a gold letter looks like![8D]




crazyml -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/30/2014 3:52:17 AM)

And the shame of it is that I can't argue with DaddySatyr when he talks about cliques anymore, since I have been "cliqued" myself.




crazyml -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/30/2014 3:58:10 AM)

Oh fuck. .. I am by no means a paragon of forum niceness, I've had my share of gold emails, and the vast majority have been richly deserved.

And the one or two that I thought were unfair? Fuck, the mods do a really really tough job, and I am grateful to them for the work they do so if in my (subjective and imperfect) opinion they get it wrong once in a blue, I'm gonna suck it up.

[Ed to add...]

... well I'm gonna suck it up after whining like a baby for a little.





ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/30/2014 4:13:26 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

What has ticked me off, is the fact that my sincere offer to help was rejected on the grounds that one or more of the existing group objected to me.

First, yeah, it's not nice to feel that you've been judged and found wanting in secret. So I will admit to a certain amount of face fanning and flounceage at the very idea that I should be considered the wrong sort. I would very much like to know who determined that they would be unhappy working with me, and why. If we did that, there is a possibility that I would learn something to my benefit, and even a possibility that the person or persons in question could learn something to theirs.

The fact that it was done in secret, and that I was initially told that new the group wasn't taking new members rather than that I was rejected is material though, as it is exactly the behaviour of a clique.




I'm very interested in how you could know this.

I, for one, have no idea what you're even talking about. I was never given of list of people and asked who I could or could not work with. It was assumed I'm an adult and can get along, which I can.

Now, do I think I am always going to be able to be above the fray? I seriously doubt it.

From Lauren:

quote:

Expecting mentors to be 'above the fray' takes away the very reason many of us are here, to hang out, exchange ideas and so forth, but we are still human. We would hope mentors would be people who generally are nice people, but even nice people are gonna lose it, happens. Since mentors are volunteers, and members of the forums, it is kind of lame for someone to whine about what a mentor said or something (again, if it violated TOS or other guidelines for members as a whole, different story).


From Poise:

quote:

I remember when I was part of
the Welcome Wagon, I had some concern that it would stifle my interactions with others on the message boards.
I can sometimes be a little less than kind in how I respond to some posts, and knowing that new members might
be looking to me as an example of forum behavior did have me sitting up a little straighter. In the long run, had the
program continued, I would probably have stopped posting altogether eventually, simply because I wouldn't have
enjoyed the scrutiny, and perhaps selfishly, I would not have wanted to stifle my participation on the boards for
the sake of retaining a few new potential posters.

I would hate to see any of the mentors lose their joy in posting as their authentic selves simply because they also
happen to devote some time to helping out the site. In the long run, I see good things coming from this program.
Perhaps a different word could be used, just so there isn't any future misunderstandings? Forum guide perhaps?


The purpose of the program is to welcome new posters and give them some info, there is no intention to stifle mentor's participation. Which is why I said this in my second post:

My understanding it is that the intention was not to alter the general tenor of the forums and make it a place where people (yes even mentors) could not speak their mind.

ML, I understand you have a problem with one of the mentors, but can you not see how this problem has snowballed into a shit storm of drama and back biting far out of proportion to that mentor's original offense?




LafayetteLady -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/30/2014 4:38:32 AM)

For the most part, I believe the mentors I'm aware of are good choices.

Chatte,

The idea that ML was told that one (or more) of the other mentors objected to him along with the idea that "regular " members don't know who mentors are is a bit disturbing because it is conflicting to me. Being as you aren't mods, you are really needing to "work together," you know?

While I can understand not providing a list of mentors, I also don't think the mentors should have any "right" to determine who should or shouldn't be a mentor. It goes beyond the scope of the "job" such as it is. After all, in what job would potential co-workers have the privledge of determining who is hired to work with them? Certainy if a problem occurs after the fact, it should be dealt with, but that isn't what apparently happened.

While I don't think there is a clique, I do think there are some here who seem to be a little to big for their britches..

Now you are saying you weren't asked, while ML says he was told otherwise. I have no reason to disbelieve either of you. However, in my opinion, if someone objected to another as mentor without good reason (beyond simply not liking them), I think that those objecting should have been reconsidered as to whether they could actually be an effective mentor.




ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/30/2014 4:55:18 AM)

I would like to hear back from ML, b/c I agree with you, I don't think he should have been told (allow me to use your words pls)

that one (or more) of the other mentors objected to him along with the idea that "regular " members don't know who mentors are is a bit disturbing because it is conflicting to me. Being as you aren't mods, you are really needing to "work together," you know?

While I can understand not providing a list of mentors, I also don't think the mentors should have any "right" to determine who should or shouldn't be a mentor. It goes beyond the scope of the "job" such as it is. After all, in what job would potential co-workers have the privledge of determining who is hired to work with them? Certainy if a problem occurs after the fact, it should be dealt with, but that isn't what apparently happened.


Let me lay out the sequence of events as I remember them. The mods asked for people to volunteer as mentors, and I volunteered. Duties were explained and I was asked if I had time. I said I did. Evidently if there was an approval process I was approved, and other mentors and I began discussing the letter to be sent out. At no point was I asked to approve of other mentors. And of course I know who the mentors are now, as we work together.

Trying to find every new poster (not everyone posts in intros) is actually quite a job. We may be mere volunteers but we are working, and our wide range of posters make that work 'interesting.' (One of the things we're trying to do is to help new posters understand TOS.)

Again, at no time was I told who volunteered for the program before it's inception, or asked who I thought would or would not be appropriate.

BTW: I did not mean to imply in my earlier post that ML is responsible for all the drama llamas running through here in the last few days. I've always found him to be a even-headed gentleman, which is the only reason I responded to this thread. I hope that by talking things through we can reach some understanding on both sides.




crazyml -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/30/2014 5:14:25 AM)

I volunteered some time ago, got no response. I volunteered again a couple of weeks ago and was first told that the program wasn't taking taking new entries (which at the time did seem like a polite "no thankyiu") I asked again and was told that based on my posting history one or more of the other mentors felt unable to work with me.

The fact that this appears to have been a partial process, with only some of the mentors allowed to be part of this special screening process, frankly, makes the whole process feel more cliquey.

Now that I understand what the role is, and what the guidelines are, I can defend it.

I cannot defend the partial and cliquey process of selection, however.





crazyml -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/30/2014 5:18:49 AM)

[ED TO ADD.. A rather important "not"]

To your edit...

Oh no worries, I didn't think you were suggesting that I was part of the drama llama crowd.

I'm only bothering to raise this because I would rather it was discussed openly here, that by proxy elsewhere.

My other choices would be simply to be quiet, and eventually leave through disenchantment (which I appreciate would not be a massive loss to the forum. ) or go to the other site and whine about it there (which I would not do, because I am not- despite what some might think - a little wanker).




LafayetteLady -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/30/2014 5:25:44 AM)

Actually ML, I would miss you if you were gone.




PeonForHer -> RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening criteria" (3/30/2014 5:27:30 AM)

quote:


I'm very interested in how you could know this.

I, for one, have no idea what you're even talking about. I was never given of list of people and asked who I could or could not work with.


Me likewise. If that was happening I had no idea at all about it. But in any case, I'd assume a mentor is not necessarily someone who consistently avoids argument and is in general easy going, but someone who's happy to arrange to be more that way when required, that is, when welcoming newbies.




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