Service Top (Full Version)

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CobaltRose -> Service Top (3/31/2014 8:43:56 AM)

I seek to become a service top, which basically means i wish to serve a Domme, by being on top. I know, its not normal, but my reasons for dominating is that i want to give Her pleasure. I want to serve Her. I like serving, but i dont like being dominated. Im sorry if this is confusing.




NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 11:35:55 AM)

Well, Hi there. I'm not sure what you mean, but.... Do you mean like, if a Domme likes bottoming for certain sensations without giving up her Dominance, you'd like to give her those sensations as she wishes?

NBMG




CobaltRose -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 11:40:14 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

Well, Hi there. I'm not sure what you mean, but.... Do you mean like, if a Domme likes bottoming for certain sensations without giving up her Dominance, you'd like to give her those sensations as she wishes?

NBMG


Pretty much.




NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 4:04:17 PM)

Okay. Well, that's not outside the realm of possibility. Anything is possible. I know I like to bottom for certain sensations every once in awhile without giving up my dominance but it's not always easy to find someone who understands that. There may be the person out there for you somewhere.

NBMG




CobaltRose -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 4:16:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

Okay. Well, that's not outside the realm of possibility. Anything is possible. I know I like to bottom for certain sensations every once in awhile without giving up my dominance but it's not always easy to find someone who understands that. There may be the person out there for you somewhere.
G
NBMG

Yeah, but its hard to find anyone like that.




seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 4:34:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose


quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

Okay. Well, that's not outside the realm of possibility. Anything is possible. I know I like to bottom for certain sensations every once in awhile without giving up my dominance but it's not always easy to find someone who understands that. There may be the person out there for you somewhere.
G
NBMG

Yeah, but its hard to find anyone like that.



Then try the "Ask a Switch" forum ......


Yet I perceive your question to be nothing more than an ad ....


So maybe, this belongs on Professional Services! [:D]





CobaltRose -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 4:45:58 PM)

Its not an ad. And im not a professional.




seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 5:03:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

Its not an ad. And im not a professional.



your profile says "switch"; and I will try not to hold your age and inexperience against you. Even though I am ....


There are multiple people in this "alternative lifestyle" ... some types, but not all types, are ...


1. Inexperienced and learning

2. Fetish players

3. Real Dominants and submissives ...

Off the top of my head, you appear to fall into door number 1 .... and maybe ... door number 2 .... because category three will not even be interested.


I must add ... defining what you are is a growth experience and it takes time. Try going to munches and events and meeting what ever you are asking .... or look for a hot switch who appears to be whatever you have in mind.

Just don't think you will have much success once the Lady grows to door number three.


Thats my two sense ...





asanaambitions -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 5:21:54 PM)

So....why do you even want a Domme? You don't want to be dominated, you just want to be a service top. So why not find some cute little subby (because there are WAY more of those than available dominant women) and find out how to dominate her exactly the way she likes? No Domme is going to take you on if you're not going to be submissive to her, there's just no way.




CobaltRose -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 5:40:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: asanaambitions

So....why do you even want a Domme? You don't want to be dominated, you just want to be a service top. So why not find some cute little subby (because there are WAY more of those than available dominant women) and find out how to dominate her exactly the way she likes? No Domme is going to take you on if you're not going to be submissive to her, there's just no way.

I know. I just. Im sorry, i never should have made this thread.




DominantWoman65 -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 5:51:31 PM)

What is "real" to others may not be what's right for you, this lifestyle doesn't come with directions or a set of steadfast rules. Go out and explore, meet people, and talk about your interests but most of all just be yourself, not what you think people expect you to be.




RedMagic1 -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 6:05:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose
quote:

ORIGINAL: asanaambitions
So....why do you even want a Domme? You don't want to be dominated, you just want to be a service top. So why not find some cute little subby (because there are WAY more of those than available dominant women) and find out how to dominate her exactly the way she likes? No Domme is going to take you on if you're not going to be submissive to her, there's just no way.

I know. I just. Im sorry, i never should have made this thread.

Seriously? How else would you get feedback about this? Not everyone's going to agree. And, hell, asanaambitions is intelligent and hot, so you're getting an honest comment from a pretty lady. How could this be a bad thing?

Look. I've dated dom ladies, even though I'm nowhere near a real sub. For that matter, there are quite a few successful dom/dom relationships and marriages. There are absolutely dominant women who enjoy being spanked or flogged. But they are in the minority.

I'll tell you though. Straight talk. Don't wither away and die when a woman asks you a direct question. That's the least attractive thing you could possibly do.




sunshinemiss -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 6:27:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

I know. I just. Im sorry, i never should have made this thread.


I'll tell you though. Straight talk. Don't wither away and die when a woman asks you a direct question. That's the least attractive thing you could possibly do.


This.

Look, we all have things we like. Someone asks you a question you don't know the answer to, the correct answer is something along the lines of, "Gee, I hadn't thought of it like that. I'll ponder it for a bit. Thanks for your point of view."

As a submissive-y woman, I wouldn't let someone wishy washy top me. I'd be afraid he would question himself right in the middle of doing something, and THAT is where people get hurt!

Go do some stuff that is difficult for you to do. Build some confidence. THAT is sexy.

good luck,
sunshine




asanaambitions -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 6:59:27 PM)

Ok, I admit that there are Domme women who like to be topped sometimes and there are Dom/Domme pairings that work. But it still doesn't answer my question of WHY he wants a Domme. He states point blank that he doesn't want to be dominated, so why a Domme? Seems like he's shooting himself in the foot by making his search nearly impossible because he's looking at the smallest percentile of the smallest group within BDSM. So I ask again, why on earth do you want a Domme when you don't want to be dominated and only wish to top?




CobaltRose -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 7:11:11 PM)

I do want to serve a domme. Its just most dommes seem rather cruel, and im scared to give them control. I would love to serve and worship a kind, loving Domme, but those are rare. I think the only reason i seeked being a servicetop was because i was scared.




asanaambitions -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 7:38:57 PM)

Actually, it's the cruel, heartless ones that are rare. I get that those are the type that are highly visible, due to pornography and professional domination being far more likely to market itself than loving relationships. But very, very few of the lifestyle dominant women that I've spoken with are what I'd classify as cruel. Even some of the serious sadists that we have around here, none of them I'd say are cruel, just sadistic. Unless of course when you say cruel what you actually mean is sadistic and in that case I guess you'd have a harder time.




SeekingTrinity -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 8:17:53 PM)

~FRing it~

What you seek is not entirely out of the realm of possibilities, though it's pretty hard to find. It honestly might be easier to find another switch. Some are BDSM purists, meaning dominant is dominant, submissive is submissive, and neither the two shall meet. Some are more...open...to differing roles.

My guy and I are good examples, but we're not the usual. He is a dominant personality with many years Dom experience. I'm a dominant personality with many years of Dom experience. Yet we service top and bottom with and for each other in a switch capacity. Pretty effortlessly as it turns out. It's not something for everyone, but it works for us. If we've managed to find each other, there are bound to be others out there who might be interested as well. Just be prepared to be patient.

I've heard of some femdommes who will bottom to a service top, but it's not very common

Also not all dommes are cruel heartless bitches. Perhaps you just haven't run across the right one for you though. Time and patience [:)]




NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 8:22:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

I do want to serve a domme. Its just most dommes seem rather cruel, and im scared to give them control. I would love to serve and worship a kind, loving Domme, but those are rare. I think the only reason i seeked being a servicetop was because i was scared.

So what you really need is a sensual Domme and not a sadistic one. They are out there, it's just a matter of finding them.

NBMG




CobaltRose -> RE: Service Top (3/31/2014 10:45:34 PM)

This thread is no longer valid. See "My True Self"




FieryOpal -> RE: Service Top (4/1/2014 8:25:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: asanaambitions

Ok, I admit that there are Domme women who like to be topped sometimes and there are Dom/Domme pairings that work. But it still doesn't answer my question of WHY he wants a Domme. He states point blank that he doesn't want to be dominated, so why a Domme? Seems like he's shooting himself in the foot by making his search nearly impossible because he's looking at the smallest percentile of the smallest group within BDSM. So I ask again, why on earth do you want a Domme when you don't want to be dominated and only wish to top?

If you haven't had the opportunity to piece it together yet, asanaambitions, let me fill you in. You and I know all too well how many male subs we run into who are confused, confused about their submission, confused about their sexuality, or who have gender-identity issues.

Female Switches are harder to come by.
He wants a Domme because he wants to be a househusband.
He wants a submissive female because he thinks they'll let him facefuck them.
He is attracted to BBW MtoF trans.
Now that he's had a chance to freely express himself, he can admit that he wants to be a girl and go through a sex-change operation. (See "My True Self" thread.)
It's great that he can be honest with himself, so he doesn't mislead a potential partner.
The problem is, I don't know how much of this is wank fantasy (all currently, since his only experience is cyber to date) and escapism.
Taking the kid gloves off, and looking at it objectively, I have concluded that OP may possibly have "Peter Pan" syndrome and doesn't want to grow up and accept adult responsibilities.
I've known sissies/CDs like this. It's too hard to be a man. They can't remain a child. They have a fantasy-image that by turning into a girl, life will be easier and some other adult will rush to take care of them and provide for all their needs. What they don't take into consideration is that life is NOT easier being a female. In many respects, it's harder. In a nutshell, they envy stereotypically spoiled little Princesses and want to become one (as if every girl has lived this kind of privileged life). So it's not really an authentic desire to literally turn into a female physiologically. It's a false desire. Proof in point. Most truly psychologically-female men find their own male genitalia grotesque. OP is not revolted by possessing male sexual organs and fantasizes about using his to do facefucking with.

ETA: NBMG, you are correct that we Sensual Dommes are harder to find than the Sadistic ones, but not because we're scarcer. We're hiding in plain sight. The ones I know, including myself, require relationship, and despite the ideologically strict FLR Dommes who seek more of a male wife, those of us with a liberal interpretation of FLR seek a sub husband for a more equitable partnership. Not exactly the same as only wanting a bedroom submissive.




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