FieryOpal
Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: asanaambitions
Ok, I admit that there are Domme women who like to be topped sometimes and there are Dom/Domme pairings that work. But it still doesn't answer my question of WHY he wants a Domme. He states point blank that he doesn't want to be dominated, so why a Domme? Seems like he's shooting himself in the foot by making his search nearly impossible because he's looking at the smallest percentile of the smallest group within BDSM. So I ask again, why on earth do you want a Domme when you don't want to be dominated and only wish to top?
If you haven't had the opportunity to piece it together yet, asanaambitions, let me fill you in. You and I know all too well how many male subs we run into who are confused, confused about their submission, confused about their sexuality, or who have gender-identity issues.
Female Switches are harder to come by.
He wants a Domme because he wants to be a househusband.
He wants a submissive female because he thinks they'll let him facefuck them.
He is attracted to BBW MtoF trans.
Now that he's had a chance to freely express himself, he can admit that he wants to be a girl and go through a sex-change operation. (See "My True Self" thread.)
It's great that he can be honest with himself, so he doesn't mislead a potential partner.
The problem is, I don't know how much of this is wank fantasy (all currently, since his only experience is cyber to date) and escapism.
Taking the kid gloves off, and looking at it objectively, I have concluded that OP may possibly have "Peter Pan" syndrome and doesn't want to grow up and accept adult responsibilities.
I've known sissies/CDs like this. It's too hard to be a man. They can't remain a child. They have a fantasy-image that by turning into a girl, life will be easier and some other adult will rush to take care of them and provide for all their needs. What they don't take into consideration is that life is NOT easier being a female. In many respects, it's harder. In a nutshell, they envy stereotypically spoiled little Princesses and want to become one (as if every girl has lived this kind of privileged life). So it's not really an authentic desire to literally turn into a female physiologically. It's a false desire. Proof in point. Most truly psychologically-female men find their own male genitalia grotesque. OP is not revolted by possessing male sexual organs and fantasizes about using his to do facefucking with.
ETA: NBMG, you are correct that we Sensual Dommes are harder to find than the Sadistic ones, but not because we're scarcer. We're hiding in plain sight. The ones I know, including myself, require relationship, and despite the ideologically strict FLR Dommes who seek more of a male wife, those of us with a liberal interpretation of FLR seek a sub husband for a more equitable partnership. Not exactly the same as only wanting a bedroom submissive.
< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 4/1/2014 8:52:52 AM >
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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau
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