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RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 6:05:21 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

I'm asking for how it's expressed.


Everyone expresses love in different ways.
I will say though that the words 'i love you' mean nothing unless backed up with actions to prove them.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 6:11:41 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

     I call them on their BS and hypocrisy........


   Unless I like them, then I strive to meet their needs.


Rich you are the bomb! A man after mine own lil black heart with the BS and hypocrisy cuz its just so much fun. Also tends to sperate the wheat from the chaf pretty quickly too.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to WyrdRich)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 6:22:32 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Now to answer the question. I do not differentiate how I express my love to people based on BDSM. Each person in my life has a different set of needs. Different facets of me they need and have expectations of. My dad might need a hug, an I love you and then a "you are full of shit, sober up". My adult kids might just need a ear to listen to them. My menopausal friend might need a hug while she is crying and laughing. My grandkids might need hugs, kisses and tickles. The elderly neighbour might need help with a cow having a difficult time calving. And my lover (if I had one) might need a spanking, hard wild sex then some cuddles in a warm bath and another time maybe just held after a bad day would be the beginning and end of it.
Its all as varied as the people in my life but all of those actions would still express my feelings for them.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 7:27:10 AM   
Taylore


Posts: 121
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Let's talk about some variants of how we care for each other in D/s. Variety very welcome.

Well, since I am not looking for 'romantic love' with Master, I guess you could call ours the caring that is between two very good friends.

_____________________________

Taylore

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 7:31:05 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		That's kind of how I like my D/s too.

*smiles* it's like having a little buddy.

(in reply to Taylore)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 7:40:53 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I think what Caretaker was asking was more along the lines of how do you structure your relationships?

I struggled with this because there is much along the Gorean lines I find hot, having seen the strict Master/slave gay relationships, especially stone butch ones, I find that hot, I am very very nurturing, and I have a very strong feminine side that loves sappy movies, flowers (both sending and receiving), and assorted mush romantic stuff.

Of course that makes a huge pile of stuff to try and make a relationship out of that has clarity.  So for me, the role I have found that allows me to combine the above is a someone strict but very loving daddy with his treasured but not spoiled little girls.

Of course each relationship is unique based on the the chemistry of two people and what happens when you combine them. 

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 7:47:06 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		Yes,I should have been more clear. That's what I get for starting topics at the end of long days, when I am brain-dead.

I have a bit of a conflict between the creative friendly sort of thing, and the harsh Master dynamic too. But if I were forced to choose between the two, the flakey happy artist would probably win out.

< Message edited by Caretakr -- 7/9/2006 7:49:31 AM >

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 7:49:25 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Actually, it is a fantastic thread and I think one that will be interesting to watch.

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 7:50:37 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, I think so too. Especially if the input helps people to resolve some of the sorts of internal conflicts we have both mentioned.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 7:59:31 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		Agreed…this is a fantastic thread! 
 
Me?  I pay attention to him.  Whether or not I buy gifts, or send cards for the fun of it, or hear him say how he likes his laundry done or watch what it is he likes to eat…and cook it for him; I’m about paying attention to him.  If he likes to read, I will find books he likes; if he enjoys a blowjob while driving down the street, I will spontaneously do that now and then; if he has hobbies, I will find things that help him with that; I just pay attention to him.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 9:38:59 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Ahhhh, I did misunderstand. Well I guess I am sort of a mothering type. Varying from nurturing earth mother to MommyDearest as the situation calls for.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 10:00:16 AM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Let's talk about some variants of how we care for each other in D/s. Variety very welcome.


I don't think that care for the others in my life much differently in D/s than I do outside of it. I know that sounds strange... there's the tendency to say "then what are you doing in D/s?", but what D/s does for us is open our door to people who relish intensity, structure, hierarchy, etc. Closing the door to the D/s world would mean waiting for individuals who aren't always ready to accept that they need and want what we have to offer -- we still get a few from outside the D/s world, but then, at least, they have the luxury of knowing that there are others like them, who can help them to accept the immensity of the choice they've taken, even though it isn't openly welcomed within most of the outside world.

For me, caring is about checking the emotional, spiritual, and mental well-being of all the people that I cherish. It's about making sure they're ok, and offering my skills to help all of us over the rough patches. It's about cooking -- taking the plainest foods and making them exceptionally tasty, so my cherished ones never need to feel like they're doing without. It's about lifting some of the burden of their stresses, and opening myself to allow them to lift some of my burdens from me.

I care for my mate by doing everything I can to make her life pleasant, because she means enough to me that seeing her happy and fulfilled brings a measure of fulfillment to me.

I care for our servants by making sure that they understand the structure we've put in place for them, and helping them to yield gracefully to the choices they've made.

Every so often, I care for our Chanson by a good, stiff cropping -- the pain gives her a place to vent her own frustration, and let it go, and it brings her to a place where she can work with me to find her peace.

I care for our saplings by helping them learn to make decisions while they're maturing, so that they won't struggle with them when they've fully matured.

Every so often, I care for everyone, including myself, by making a big, huge blackberry cobbler, and serving it up hot out of the oven.

ZWD

< Message edited by LadiesBladewing -- 7/9/2006 10:02:34 AM >

_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 10:00:50 AM   
HollyS


Posts: 230
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I think what Caretaker was asking was more along the lines of how do you structure your relationships?


Thank you for clarifying - I tried a couple times to answer this last night and kept coming back to "what nice things do I do within the D/s dynamic" and didn't have any good D/s specific answers.  Good to read other's thoughts though.

quote:

I struggled with this because there is much along the Gorean lines I find hot, having seen the strict Master/slave gay relationships, especially stone butch ones, I find that hot, I am very very nurturing, and I have a very strong feminine side that loves sappy movies, flowers (both sending and receiving), and assorted mush romantic stuff.

Of course that makes a huge pile of stuff to try and make a relationship out of that has clarity.  So for me, the role I have found that allows me to combine the above is a someone strict but very loving daddy with his treasured but not spoiled little girls.


This is something that, for us, is still evolving.  I also find very strict relationships pretty hot -- discipline, boundries, high expectations, and the attentiveness that comes with it all is a massive turn-on.  That said, in reality I'm not sure how I'd do in a truly strict relationship and Sir is not fond of such inflexible arrangements anyway (he being of the more romantic bent as well).  So we're still feeling out what form things might take. Congrats for figuring out a way to reconcile the two sides of yourself and making it work for everyone, it sounds like you've got a really good thing going.

~Holly



_____________________________

I wish my lawn were emo, so it would cut itself.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 10:08:16 AM   
SCORPIOXXX


Posts: 223
Joined: 11/6/2004
Status: offline 		In reply to all...

I find no problem, contradiction or conflict in being a "loving" DOM (hell, even romantic when I am extra mellow), all the more because I have a Daddy streak... I am perfectly at ease sending you over The Edge (with all that goes with it), then holding/cuddling/etc because I like to show appreciation... And in a 24/7, you can still take a few moments during the day to show your sub you are glad to have her!

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 12:35:08 PM   
Taylore


Posts: 121
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SCORPIOXXX

In reply to all...

I find no problem, contradiction or conflict in being a "loving" DOM (hell, even romantic when I am extra mellow), all the more because I have a Daddy streak... I am perfectly at ease sending you over The Edge (with all that goes with it), then holding/cuddling/etc because I like to show appreciation... And in a 24/7, you can still take a few moments during the day to show your sub you are glad to have her!

Love does not necessarily need to be present in a relationship for each to show appreciation of the other.
Master does not love me; nor I him; and yet, every day he lets me know that I am appreciated.

_____________________________

Taylore

(in reply to SCORPIOXXX)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 1:00:50 PM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		Thanx for the referral, MasterFireMaam.  From the synopsis, it sounds like a winner.

And julia, as a Domme with a life-threatening bone disease, I laid all my cards on the table regarding my sub and one of her brothers is a doctor, the other a lwayer.  I sent her all my medical records so that she and her brother could review.  Although she is aware of the road that possibly lies ahead of me, she has accepted my consideration collar which is indeed a good sign.  In knowing her as well as I do, I have faith in her but there is always that "reality check" part of me that says there's always a chance that I'll end up in the OleFolksHome.  Pardon my twisted sense of humor; it goes with the territory.

LeatherBentOne

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 3:24:22 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Thank you for clarifying - I tried a couple times to answer this last night and kept coming back to "what nice things do I do within the D/s dynamic" and didn't have any good D/s specific answers. 


You buy Me very good, expensive cigars and sit with Me while I smoke them even though you really don't like the smell/taste/air of tobacco.  *KISS*

And I guess I'm romantic and not strict *GRIN*?  Hmmmm...I have GOT to get those heavy iron shackles out of the garage and weld them on to you, darling. 

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to HollyS)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 4:05:14 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Taylore
Love does not necessarily need to be present in a relationship for each to show appreciation of the other.
Master does not love me; nor I him; and yet, every day he lets me know that I am appreciated.


Taylore, I have had a similar relationship with a wonderful Dominant not far from me.  While we were not in love, we had an absolute blast when we got together...he taught me many things, gave me many experiences and I gave him my wide-eyed, open acceptance of his Dominance.  What he said was the rule; I jumped when he said frog.  I think we both appreciated that we had this for quite some time.

Edited to add:  ...and while we liked each other very much, we didn't love one another; though, we were pretty good friends with interests inside and out of BDSM.

< Message edited by Bearlee -- 7/9/2006 4:08:44 PM >

(in reply to Taylore)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Different love. - 7/9/2006 4:31:09 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Let's talk about some variants of how we care for each other in D/s. Variety very welcome.


His overall goodness to me expresses his love for me beyond what words or gifts could ever do.  I recently had the opportunity to see this realization clearly, and I am blown away.

My expression of love and care for him is enjoyed by him through my writings to him, through my doting on him, and in serving him passionately.  I do buy him little gifts now and again which have a very psersonalized touch (ie; had my brand engraved on a new money clip for him).

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 39
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