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My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 12:41:38 PM   
RottenBite


Posts: 14
Joined: 8/10/2013
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline 		She's a new Domme as much as I'm a new sub. She has experience as sub though, so at least she's experienced where I am not. Despite that, I have discovered she hasn't yet discovered what its like to use TOYS! I have a couple of vibrators myself, but I've been thinking of buying her a nice gift while we're apart. (Distance is between us, bleck.) I was wondering what Mistress's at large would suggest I get for her?

PS: Also open to advice on oral, since she hasn't been blessed with that either and... she's my first woman.

Essentially I wanna be the best submissive when it comes to rocking her world. >_>

_____________________________

My pronouns are
THEY | THEM
{ MONSTER }
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RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 1:11:31 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I've been thinking of buying her a nice gift while we're apart. (Distance is between us, bleck.) I was wondering what Mistress's at large would suggest I get for her?


You're asking the wrong people, but I'll have a go at it.

1. If you want a BDSM-themed present, since she's new, some non-fiction from the booklist: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm

2. Many people (but not all) would love a gift certificate for massage.

3. Chocolate. Again, you need to know her tastes, as people can have strong preferences as to milk vs dark chocolate and Russel Stover vs quality chocolate without artificial flavors and colors.

(in reply to RottenBite)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 1:13:55 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RottenBite
I was wondering what Mistress's at large would suggest I get for her?

Buy her a 400-thread-count sheet set in her favorite color. That way, she'll think of you caressing her every night as she falls asleep.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to RottenBite)
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RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 1:43:42 PM   
RottenBite


Posts: 14
Joined: 8/10/2013
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline 		Guys, did you read anything surround that question? Context is highly important.

_____________________________

My pronouns are
THEY | THEM
{ MONSTER }

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 1:47:29 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I'd prefer not to speculate - what's the context you think we're missing?

(in reply to RottenBite)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 1:49:41 PM   
RottenBite


Posts: 14
Joined: 8/10/2013
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline 		Shes never... Had toys before. I was wanting to know wah kind of toys to get her.

_____________________________

My pronouns are
THEY | THEM
{ MONSTER }

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 1:52:07 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		You are missing the context of the 2 people who generously posted.

Dominant women are women first.
Even if she is your Mistress she is a woman first.

Buy her something thoughtful and lovely.
If you buy a ton of kink-oriented stuff, it is likely to come across as you're seeing her as nothing more than a fetish delivery system.



_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

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RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 1:53:38 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		As for toys: when you are next together, take her toy shopping.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to RottenBite)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 1:54:34 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RottenBite

Shes never... Had toys before. I was wanting to know wah kind of toys to get her.

Don't buy her a toy until the next time you see her and she can use it on you. If you're long distance, buy her something she will use every day, while thinking of how sweet a sub you are.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to RottenBite)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 1:55:23 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Shes never... Had toys before. I was wanting to know wah kind of toys to get her.


There's no way we could help with this highly individual question. Just ask the Eroscillator vs Hitachi factions.

(All you Hitachi fans are misguided )

(in reply to RottenBite)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 1:58:49 PM   
RottenBite


Posts: 14
Joined: 8/10/2013
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

You are missing the context of the 2 people who generously posted.

Dominant women are women first.
Even if she is your Mistress she is a woman first.

Buy her something thoughtful and lovely.
If you buy a ton of kink-oriented stuff, it is likely to come across as you're seeing her as nothing more than a fetish delivery system.



Way to be rude. You do not know how I treat Mistress. I didn't disclose my non-kink my relationship here. I asked for kink advice on a kink forum. My mistress is also my girlfriend, who I appreciate more than anything because she accepts who I am as well as my identity. So please take your horrific assumptions elsewhere. Thank you.


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


quote:

ORIGINAL: RottenBite

Shes never... Had toys before. I was wanting to know wah kind of toys to get her.

Don't buy her a toy until the next time you see her and she can use it on you. If you're long distance, buy her something she will use every day, while thinking of how sweet a sub you are.

I don't want a toy for her to use on me. I have toys. I don't have my own expensive toys, but I would be willing to get HER one so she can take it home to play with, since we are lucky to see each other monthly.

< Message edited by RottenBite -- 4/13/2014 2:01:52 PM >

_____________________________

My pronouns are
THEY | THEM
{ MONSTER }

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 2:04:24 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RottenBite


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

You are missing the context of the 2 people who generously posted.

Dominant women are women first.
Even if she is your Mistress she is a woman first.

Buy her something thoughtful and lovely.
If you buy a ton of kink-oriented stuff, it is likely to come across as you're seeing her as nothing more than a fetish delivery system.



Way to be rude. You do not know how I treat Mistress. I didn't disclose my non-kink my relationship here. I asked for kink advice on a kink forum. My mistress is also my girlfriend, who I appreciate more than anything because she accepts who I am my identity. So pleas take your horrific assumptions elsewhere. Thank you.


There were no negative assumptions on my part.
I was sharing with you what over 6 years of forum interactions have illustrated to me.
Buying toys is not the way to a woman's heart.
It may seem like a great idea, but women tend to appreciate other (non-kink) things that show you care.

We can't possibly know whether she would prefer thuddy or buzzy or if penetrative toys will turn her on.



_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to RottenBite)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 2:04:48 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I asked for kink advice on a kink forum.


One of the most common bits of advice given on this forum is to treat women like women first. (And not fetish delivery systems.)

(in reply to RottenBite)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 2:05:58 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Buying toys is not the way to a woman's heart.


Amen!

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 2:06:32 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RottenBite
I don't want a toy for her to use on me. I have toys. I don't have my own expensive toys, but I would be willing to get HER one so she can take it home to play with, since we are lucky to see each other monthly.

If I followed your strategy, I would never keep a woman's attention for more than a day or two. But I suppose my advice is: buy whatever toy you want. You will then discover, in real life, either that we are all wrong and you are right, or that we are all right and you are wrong. Practical experience will teach you more about a kinky relationship than an online message board.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to RottenBite)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 2:11:42 PM   
RottenBite


Posts: 14
Joined: 8/10/2013
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline 		Y'all are just giving yourselves this non existent fuel. I am literally just asking what toys y'all would recommend. And y'all are trying to tear me apart for... supposedly viewing her as a fetishizes object. I want her to have a toy. For herself. I realize now this was the incorrect board, my mistake. But seriously? Seriously, right now. I don't evn understand where the fuck you people are taking this thread, anymore.

I do not have extensive experience with toys. I buy cheap stuff. I am asking people for advice on GOOD toys I have never been able to use. SHE will not know anything more about these toys than I do, so we will still not know what is a worthy buy or not when we cis it a store. You are right, you don't know her. She knows I am planning to buy a toy. She wants to try them. I also do what I can an give what I can within my budget. I support her, help her, communicate with her, give her the cute things I can, and will be taking her out to explore my world for the first time come next weekend.

How everyone gets that I am some abusive, heartless sack of shit out of me asking about toys that are worthy of her is... Beyond me.

< Message edited by RottenBite -- 4/13/2014 2:19:42 PM >

_____________________________

My pronouns are
THEY | THEM
{ MONSTER }

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 2:14:03 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I am literally just asking what toys y'all would recommend.


1. This is far too individual a question for us to answer.
2. Additionally, some of us think buying toys for women is not a good approach.

(in reply to RottenBite)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 2:17:42 PM   
RottenBite


Posts: 14
Joined: 8/10/2013
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

I am literally just asking what toys y'all would recommend.


1. This is far too individual a question for us to answer.
2. Additionally, some of us think buying toys for women is not a good approach.

1. Individual or not, we do not have experience in what toys last and are good. Is giving a review without false assumptions not possible?
2. Awesome that you think so. You're right. But I'm not buying a toy to "get to her heart." Wtf. I may be genderfluid, but I do have a vulva and vagina. Fyi.

_____________________________

My pronouns are
THEY | THEM
{ MONSTER }

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 2:20:21 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

Why don't you...instead of asking a bunch of strangers for what they like and getting a bunch of different answers (you can't buy out a sex toy shop, can you?)...head over yourself and tailor your gift to what YOU know of her since you are the only one who knows her?

I'd be more touched you took the time to think about what I personally might like...rather than a bunch of crap you just bought because someone who didn't know me said they liked.

Or get pissed because people are trying to help...you know, whichever

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: My New Mistress - 4/13/2014 2:23:01 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		The only vibrator I'll recommend is the Eroscillator. My first one lasted 14 years. Expect the Hitachi people to come in and tell me I'm wrong :)

While the Eroscillator does have some attachments that are used internally, it's primarily to stimulate the clit, so if she'd prefer penetrative toys, this advice is useless.

(in reply to RottenBite)
Profile   Post #: 20
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