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BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 7:26:48 AM   
NWDom1970


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/3/2013
Status: offline 		So I have a question for you that I would like to pose out here. Now I work for a non medical transportation company in Washington State. I transport elderly, disabled, and less fortunate people to or from medical appointments. Now being in the lifestyle for many years now I find it interesting how I can read most people that I meet in my job. In my time with the company I have come across submissive, slave, Dom, and Master / Mistress type people. I chuckle because some of them really fail at being vanilla in everyday life. So my question is how do you address one's behavior in vanilla life when they are out of line, but yet still respect them?
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RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 7:30:36 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		Simple: The same way you would any other vanilla person!!


(in reply to NWDom1970)
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RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 7:37:24 AM   
TenderTorment


Posts: 304
Joined: 12/30/2012
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		I'm confused! From what you say most of the people you are "reading" as you put it are strangers you encounter in a professional sense, so I'm struggling to understand why you would want to address a strangers behaviour, let alone respect them (or not).



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(in reply to NWDom1970)
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RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 8:19:32 AM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline 		I'm also not understanding your question. What kind of "out of line" are you talking about and why would you feel the need to address it unless it's something they said/did to you?

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RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 8:25:52 AM   
Chwilfrydig


Posts: 156
Joined: 1/15/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NWDom1970
So my question is how do you address one's behavior in vanilla life when they are out of line, but yet still respect them?


Unless they are stripping naked or whipping on each other (in other words, illegal activities or those that threaten the safety of others), in my opinion RESPECT means you politely offer assistance getting on and off the vehicle, drive safely, and mind your own business.





< Message edited by Chwilfrydig -- 4/19/2014 8:26:57 AM >

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RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 9:09:48 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NWDom1970

So I have a question for you that I would like to pose out here. Now I work for a non medical transportation company in Washington State. I transport elderly, disabled, and less fortunate people to or from medical appointments. Now being in the lifestyle for many years now I find it interesting how I can read most people that I meet in my job. In my time with the company I have come across submissive, slave, Dom, and Master / Mistress type people. I chuckle because some of them really fail at being vanilla in everyday life. So my question is how do you address one's behavior in vanilla life when they are out of line, but yet still respect them?


Why would anyone performing a job behave differently towards their clientele based on some type of assumption they've made? Sounds extremely unprofessional to me.

If anyone is "out of line", generically asking them to adhere to your company's rules of basic safety and courtesy is as far as you should ever go. None of these rules need to be personalized on your part. Also, work is always vanilla - leave out your own ideas about what others do in their private time and how you oddly think that should affect how people are treated.

(in reply to NWDom1970)
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RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 9:16:29 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		I think there are some things that are situational.

When working, I am a bit more likely to let personal insults roll off my back.

However, I am self-employed. I have, at times, decided that a client is not worth the headaches they cause. I can make that decision for myself.

I have also recommended that they might do better working with a colleague/competitor of mine.

However, there is a balance that must be struck.

I am assuming that you are employed by someone. Leaving out your assessment of lifestyle status, why not ask your boss (for example): "If Mr. Smith calls me an idiot, how should I handle that?"

You might find that your boss is like me and wouldn't ask you to acquiesce to improper behavior.

At the very least, you'll get guidance from your boss as to what your limits are.



Good luck.







Screen captures still RULE! Ya feel me?

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(in reply to Killerangel)
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RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 9:32:16 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		1. If you have a foolproof method to ID kinksters, you've accomplished something nobody else has.

2. It's common knowledge to treat kinkfolks like vanilla when out in public.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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(in reply to Chwilfrydig)
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RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 12:36:48 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If some of the elderly you're transporting are ordering you about inappropriately, I doubt it's because they are dominant with their spouse. It's a side effect of having had a stroke.

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RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 1:02:11 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

I think your best bet is just to handle folks the way your company mandates and leave it at that. Whether they are kink oriented or not, all of your clients need to be treated the same way. Trying to put your own spin on it based on your interpretations of who you think they are kink-wise is just asking for trouble.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 5:31:51 PM   
doctorgrey


Posts: 373
Status: offline 		Treat people as people.
That is what they are.

They are livng thier lives and not, I would have thought, trying to fulfill a role, or match a title which you might be all to willing to apply.

Relax, you speak of your profession, so act professionally and leave your personal preferances at the door.

Do your job, respect everyone 'til they demonstrate otherwise.

DrG

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we touched upon a shelf of rock selected by the automind
and left
a galaxy of dreams
behind

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RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 6:28:00 PM   
NWDom1970


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/3/2013
Status: offline 		Well first off I guess I leaned to much towards the job, however when the person brags about being in BDSM in the first place it's pretty simple to understand their stance, I do follow company policies however there does come a time when the "Dom" as he calls himself continues to talk about the lifestyle and I continue to attempt to change the subject as my job dictates for me to do. Now I drive this "Dom" as a regular client at least twice a week. I have tried several times to be polite and change the subject, I myself have not expressed my views on the lifestyle due to the fact that I am at work. However when I listen to this person I start to wonder if he really knows what he is talking about or if he is really just blowing hot air. I know that there are extremes out here but DAMM he goes to far at times.

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RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 7:10:34 PM   
Chwilfrydig


Posts: 156
Joined: 1/15/2014
Status: offline 		Does he have Alzheimer's or another type of dementia? Because often with this disease, a person gets "stuck" or focused on a particular phase of their past. In addition, they may no longer have the ability to repress or even recognize inappropriate behavior.

It can be very demanding to interact with people who suffer from dementia. Changing the subject usually will not work. I've found it's best to just smile and listen, maybe respond with benign but short, supportive answers like "Yes, I know" or "That must have made you happy". It doesn't matter if what he is saying really happened or not; if he has dementia, it's true for him, and he deserves the utmost compassion.


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My username is Welsh for "curious".

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RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 7:28:55 PM   
Darkfeather


Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NWDom1970

So I have a question for you that I would like to pose out here. Now I work for a non medical transportation company in Washington State. I transport elderly, disabled, and less fortunate people to or from medical appointments. Now being in the lifestyle for many years now I find it interesting how I can read most people that I meet in my job. In my time with the company I have come across submissive, slave, Dom, and Master / Mistress type people. I chuckle because some of them really fail at being vanilla in everyday life. So my question is how do you address one's behavior in vanilla life when they are out of line, but yet still respect them?

I too suffered from this problem... Then I bought this little gem and never looked back . Five minutes of typing and printing, and you can slap an easy to read label on anyone. They do sell raised ones for the sight impaired, and come in different colors for the fashion concious

(in reply to NWDom1970)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/19/2014 7:53:32 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You allow him to ramble while sharing nothing of your own life. And you recognize that he is probably suffering from dementia, stroke or traumatic brain injuries. Any of which can cause this kind of monomania.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: BDSM in Vanilla life - 4/23/2014 11:21:39 AM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Since changing the subject isn't working, I think you should try being more direct with him and tell him, politely, that hearing about his sex life makes you uncomfortable and you'd like to talk about something else.

(in reply to NWDom1970)
Profile   Post #: 16
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