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CreativeDominant -> RE: Why do guys not like to commit? (4/29/2014 2:37:10 PM)
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For me, there has never been a problem with commitment. I would prefer to be in an ongoing relationship. That said:
I think young men's "fear" or "lack of wanting to" when it comes to commitment comes down a lot to a whole lot of factors that were not present when I was a young'n (yep...back when we drove gas-guzzling hot rods to school). For those young men who go to college, many of them come out of school to face a world where obtaining a job is not as easy as it was then. There were often many companies lined up to hire graduates with certain degrees. Fewer degrees, more positions vs today where there are more degrees with fewer opportunities to use them. This creates an uncertainty about the future. Add in college loan debt that has to be paid off and you add more uncertainty. Another factor: there is a plethora of social sites and much less in-person socializing that goes on nowadays. I've noted that many people, older as well as younger though not so much the case with older folks, devote an awful lot of time to these social sites. Hard to meet a girl and carry on a "courtship" when your time is spent trying to meet an elusive computer girl. Add in video games and other internet wonders and a person can get sucked into what is easy AND satisfying and stands little chance of denting your ego. Another factor: the insecurities that seem to come about when what they have been taught in school matches up to what they find in the real world. My own kids were taught that it is...for the most part...about them and their "wonderful" uniqueness. My daughter damn near cried on my shoulder after her first two weeks in a real job: Dad, I don't know if I'm going to get fired. Why is that, honey? Because the boss hasn't told me I am doing a great job...not even a "good job, Nicole". Did she call you into her office and yell at you? No. Did she pay you this week? Yes. Welcome to the real world, honey...where they expect you to do the job you are paid to do and won't spend their precious job time stroking your ego. Put that "wonderfully unique" attitude to work when you are finally trying to date and how many give up when a girl first rejects them? How many do not give up but get cynical and/or leery? Finally, look at how society has reshaped roles. Even back in my day, women were being told that they could be "all they could be" but somehow, society kind of expected everyone...men and women...to find someone they could commit to. That attitude does not seem to exist as much and it has made it easier in some ways for people to not feel forced to "pick someone just to satisfy Mom, Dad, family, employers, etc.. It does, on the other hand, make it harder to find that one who does want to commit.
Now add in things like internet porn where the woman does what the guy wants, T.V. shows where the most women-successful men appear to be those that come across as dunces/wusses to many men out here on this side of the screen, etc. and you find young men who find it hard to want to give up their lives...no matter how stilted they might seem to some...to commitment.
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