Master doesn't treat me like a slave

Master doesn't treat me like a slave (Full Version)

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Leatherprincess4 -> Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/21/2014 5:26:52 PM)
I found a new master recently who is fairly new to the lifestyle. While the sex is not bad, hes very cautious about how rough hes willing to be with me. I've had several masters who were apprehensive at first (as I am pretty tiny and fragile looking) but most of them warmed up fairly quickly. How do I tell this one just how much pain I can take? Because apparently saying "I wanna hurt for days" isn't getting the point across.

LuciferianX -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/21/2014 5:30:40 PM)
That's a great question. I think part of it is that a lot of dominants are naturally scared of the consequences if something goes wrong; you might have to get out the flogger and a pillow and demonstrate what you want and how hard. If he's the right Master for you, he'll accept the coaching gracefully and then turn around and practice on you directly.

poise -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/21/2014 5:40:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4 I found a new master recently who is fairly new to the lifestyle. While the sex is not bad, hes very cautious about how rough hes willing to be with me. I've had several masters who were apprehensive at first (as I am pretty tiny and fragile looking) but most of them warmed up fairly quickly. How do I tell this one just how much pain I can take? Because apparently saying "I wanna hurt for days" isn't getting the point across. There is a possibility that he won't ever warm up to the idea of giving you pain. Not all Masters are interested in rough sex. Since he is new, I'd suggest you tread carefully and avoid words that reflect poorly on his performance, or lack of, such as "I wish you'd hit harder". The last thing he needs to feel is incompetent. Instead, be very vocal and compliment him on how much pleasure he does give you when he is making the effort. It will go a long way in building his confidence in going further. If he is interested in doing so.

Darkfeather -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/21/2014 7:43:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4 I found a new master recently who is fairly new to the lifestyle. While the sex is not bad, hes very cautious about how rough hes willing to be with me. I've had several masters who were apprehensive at first (as I am pretty tiny and fragile looking) but most of them warmed up fairly quickly. How do I tell this one just how much pain I can take? Because apparently saying "I wanna hurt for days" isn't getting the point across. Not every dominant is the same. Just a fact of kink. Some like to cut swaths of leather to shreds with a bullwhip. Others can't get themselves to raise a welt on another person. There are no rules to which one is the better or worse dominant, just who is the better fit. Just as there are some submissive who run for the hills at the sight of said bullwhip. If the one you have now can or cannot be what you need, that is something you will have to deal with. Blood-lust and sadistic enjoyment is not something you can really "learn"

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/21/2014 8:07:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4 I found a new master recently who is fairly new to the lifestyle. While the sex is not bad, hes very cautious about how rough hes willing to be with me. I've had several masters who were apprehensive at first (as I am pretty tiny and fragile looking) but most of them warmed up fairly quickly. How do I tell this one just how much pain I can take? Because apparently saying "I wanna hurt for days" isn't getting the point across. He's a guy. If he's a rational guy he's aware that he can be sent to prison.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/21/2014 10:56:08 PM)
One could argue that a Master treats his slave however he finds pleasing. If he's treating you in the way that pleases HIM (gently) rather than the way that pleases you (harder) then he is in fact very much treating you like a slave. That aside, how new are we talking here? How long have you been together? Does he fantasize about this very hard stuff you want, or is he just doing it to humour you? If he's not into it, he may never get there. If he is, then perhaps you just need to give him some time. Don't put so much pressure on to be your fantasy guy from day one- give him space to find his own tastes. And let him work up slowly. Going from brand new to beating someone so hard it hurts for days takes some getting used to - not to mention, learning some safe techniques. Probably a good thing he didn't just start wailing away on you from day one.

KnightofMists -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/22/2014 1:26:01 AM)
How much pain you can take has nothing to do with slavehood. If you want to feel pain.... You need a sadist.

thishereboi -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/22/2014 4:02:57 AM)
Have you tried telling him he hits like a girl?

DarkSteven -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/22/2014 5:54:05 AM)
If this is a true M/s relationship, you need to inform him that you want more pain. He then will: 1. Change to give you more. 2. Allow someone else in the relationship for you. 3. Do nothing. It actually sounds like you agreed to an M/s dynamic without determining compatibility completely.

Greta75 -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/22/2014 8:29:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists How much pain you can take has nothing to do with slavehood. If you want to feel pain.... You need a sadist. THIS! Seriously, you need a sadist, your master may not be a sadist.

DesFIP -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/22/2014 2:06:24 PM)
How about you stop dominating him by telling him what to do and when, and be grateful for what he chooses to give you. Because if he's the dominant, then this is his decision and not yours. If you're the dominant and he's just service topping you, that's different. You either wait till he feels comfortable going harder or you find someone who already is more compatible play wise. But really, op, this is your fault for agreeing to be owned when you didn't have the slightest idea if you were compatible or not.

Crouchingtiger77 -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/23/2014 11:11:05 AM)
What was said about the word 'jail' is I think relevant. If per chance he did beat you as you liked, and an infection resulted that must be looked at at a hospital, tell me, do you think the doctors and nurses are going to consider you when you say: "But, I'm a slave and I told him to beat me like this."? What do you think would be the responses of the doctors?

Leatherprincess4 -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/24/2014 2:13:49 PM)
Hes only had one slave previously who was more into humiliation. We've only been together for about 3 months and I'm definately thinking we're not compatible but I find it very difficult to meet doms in my area. I live in a college town so everyone I meet is around my age which is great, but many of them call themselves doms without grasping the concept of what that actually means.

shiftyw -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/24/2014 2:28:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4 Hes only had one slave previously who was more into humiliation. We've only been together for about 3 months and I'm definately thinking we're not compatible but I find it very difficult to meet doms in my area. I live in a college town so everyone I meet is around my age which is great, but many of them call themselves doms without grasping the concept of what that actually means. This sounds a bit insulting to the man you're with, very "Well...this is the best I can do, so I'm going to stick around in case something better doesn't come along" I think you really need to assess if you're happy, if you really want to please him. To me, it sounds like you aren't taking the relationship very seriously, and he should know that.

InHisHeart -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/24/2014 3:00:01 PM)
If you feel you're definitely not compatible then why do you stay? Settling because it's hard to find a Dom in your area is unfair to him and to you. Finding the right person to be in a relationship with takes time.

SailingBum -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/24/2014 3:07:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4 Hes only had one slave previously who was more into humiliation. We've only been together for about 3 months and I'm definately thinking we're not compatible but I find it very difficult to meet doms in my area. I live in a college town so everyone I meet is around my age which is great, but many of them call themselves doms without grasping the concept of what that actually means. Hell you are "only" 22 how can you have had "several masters" as master doesn't happen overnight?!?! "but many of them call themselves doms without grasping the concept of what that actually means." TO YOU. If you ask 20 different ppl what dom means you will get 20 different answers. My guess is your a instanta sub. That is looking for a fetish delivery system insert dom here and when they don't do things "your" way, You post "how can I get what I want from him". News flash it ain't about YOU! So instead of slutting around find someone with mutual interests before you hop in the sack. BadOne

kiwisub12 -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/24/2014 4:24:41 PM)
Comfort in what we do, as in vanilla relationships, takes time to settle into what is good for both people. Gosh, its been three whole months and you aren't happy with what is going on? It took over a year for my sweetie to be comfortable hitting me hard - and he is an admitted sadist. As was said by SailingBum, there is no such thing as instant relationship. and if you don't think he is compatible but you are going to stay with him because no-one else has presented themselves in a more favourable light? - then shame on you for leading the poor man on.

Lynnxz -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/24/2014 7:27:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4 Hes only had one slave previously who was more into humiliation. We've only been together for about 3 months and I'm definately thinking we're not compatible but I find it very difficult to meet doms in my area. I live in a college town so everyone I meet is around my age which is great, but many of them call themselves doms without grasping the concept of what that actually means. I bounced around a little, (Making some cringy choices along the way... ugh...) before I found my fit. Believe it or not, I met him off of Craigslist. A BDSM relationship isn't something special. To work, you need so much more than Master and slave, you need to look at this as an actual relationship, and not, as someone else said, a fetish delivery system.

Xxxsmilesxxx -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/25/2014 6:39:28 AM)
I can relate in that my Dom use to have more playtime with me than now. I've asked for some and it didn't turn out well. So, I guess I have to try harder and be patient. Gook luck hon.

Toysinbabeland -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/25/2014 7:25:24 AM)
Consider that you are in pain because you are continuing to sacrifice your need for physical aggression.

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