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RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk ... - 6/4/2014 1:29:18 AM   
FightingChains


Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline 		My issue with that is simple, theunlisteddark. No one deserves, at least in my mind, to be a slave or a master. Even if I dont respect someone, I have no right to treat a human like a slave. It's something given. So innately, they have some respect as a human being. Respect isn't something you start with nothing as, or you'd kill everyone cos who gives a damn? Respect isn't just looking up to. It's the dignity of a human being at all. Unless you are believe you honestly have the right to make people your slave, in which case I think you're going to have a certain amount of disagreement from the Australian government.

_____________________________

"Get comfortable in your skin; you're going to be in it for a while."

(in reply to theunlisteddark)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk ... - 6/4/2014 3:28:59 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MtMaster


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt


quote:

ORIGINAL: theunlisteddark


If a criterion of my search is a trait that I don't find respectable, then I actually start off disrespecting them. I may grow to respect them over time, but then I don't want somebody I respect serving me.
<snip>


HUH and WTF? Did I read that right? You want somebody serving you who you disrespect?

I would NEVER allow a person I didn't respect to serve me. I wouldn't want them anywhere near me.



Look at the poster's age. I think we all started out with the "my way or the highway" mentality and it took time to realize that even a sub and slave deserves a certain level of respect.


"Even" a sub and slave deserves respect?

(in reply to MtMaster)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk ... - 6/4/2014 3:37:21 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

My issue with that is simple, theunlisteddark. No one deserves, at least in my mind, to be a slave or a master. Even if I dont respect someone, I have no right to treat a human like a slave. It's something given. So innately, they have some respect as a human being. Respect isn't something you start with nothing as, or you'd kill everyone cos who gives a damn? Respect isn't just looking up to. It's the dignity of a human being at all. Unless you are believe you honestly have the right to make people your slave, in which case I think you're going to have a certain amount of disagreement from the Australian government.


Quoted for truth.

"Deserving" to be a slave or Master somehow implies it's a choice while it's really an orientation. Someone's sexual/relationship orientation in my mind has nothing to do with respect, it's just who they are. So just like race or caste, there aren't some humans that are less deserving of respect simply for which role they prefer in a relationship.

There are different levels of respect, the basic respect that human beings, creatures, entities of the world should receive simply for being present, and the respect that builds (or not) with transactions of being around someone.

(in reply to FightingChains)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk ... - 6/4/2014 4:05:41 AM   
theunlisteddark


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/30/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains
Respect isn't something you start with nothing as, or you'd kill everyone cos who gives a damn?


I disagree. I don't consider killing everyone, or anyone, because there is no benefit greater than the potential consequences. Granted, this is basically a socio/psychopathic mentality, that's up to a psych analyst to decide. Everyone does start with no respect (and no disrespect) to me, until I gather further information about them - my internal respect slider then adjusts based on that information. I can understand that many people don't think that way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains
Even if I dont respect someone, I have no right to treat a human like a slave.


Usually if I don't respect somebody, I don't give them time in my life, unless I want to for my own ends. If somebody wishes to serve me in exchange for my ability to make their decisions, I will, provided I gain from it. It's not my right, it's an aligning of both of our wishes. The implication that I need to have a positive opinion of the person, or that they even need a positive opinion of me, is incorrect, at least in what I seek.

The question "Who would agree to something like that?" is exactly what I am here to find out.

(in reply to FightingChains)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk ... - 6/4/2014 4:47:43 AM   
FightingChains


Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theunlisteddark

quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains
Respect isn't something you start with nothing as, or you'd kill everyone cos who gives a damn?


I disagree. I don't consider killing everyone, or anyone, because there is no benefit greater than the potential consequences. Granted, this is basically a socio/psychopathic mentality, that's up to a psych analyst to decide. Everyone does start with no respect (and no disrespect) to me, until I gather further information about them - my internal respect slider then adjusts based on that information. I can understand that many people don't think that way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains
Even if I dont respect someone, I have no right to treat a human like a slave.


Usually if I don't respect somebody, I don't give them time in my life, unless I want to for my own ends. If somebody wishes to serve me in exchange for my ability to make their decisions, I will, provided I gain from it. It's not my right, it's an aligning of both of our wishes. The implication that I need to have a positive opinion of the person, or that they even need a positive opinion of me, is incorrect, at least in what I seek.

The question "Who would agree to something like that?" is exactly what I am here to find out.


You are basically assessing anyone as not deserving of respect until you judge otherwise.

There's a similar system to this: guilty until proven innocent. Guilty until proven innocent means innocents end up in jail, and no respect until someone earns it means disrespecting people who deserve it.

I'd much rather treat people who don't deserve respect with some, than disrespect brilliant people who deserve a lot. And even then, everyone has the potential to be a brilliant person, so I never lose all respect for a person. Otherwise, I'm no better than they are.

And if the only reason you are not killing people is because of the consequences, that's a good sign you need to see a psych, yes.

_____________________________

"Get comfortable in your skin; you're going to be in it for a while."

(in reply to theunlisteddark)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk ... - 6/4/2014 5:04:30 AM   
FightingChains


Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel
"Deserving" to be a slave or Master somehow implies it's a choice while it's really an orientation. Someone's sexual/relationship orientation in my mind has nothing to do with respect, it's just who they are. So just like race or caste, there aren't some humans that are less deserving of respect simply for which role they prefer in a relationship.

There are different levels of respect, the basic respect that human beings, creatures, entities of the world should receive simply for being present, and the respect that builds (or not) with transactions of being around someone.


I have to quote this for truth back, because this is damned great to hear.

_____________________________

"Get comfortable in your skin; you're going to be in it for a while."

(in reply to Killerangel)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk ... - 6/4/2014 6:17:10 AM   
theunlisteddark


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/30/2014
Status: offline 		Again, "no respect or disrespect" doesn't seem to be on your radar. Until I have information regarding their worthiness of respect or disrespect, it's not "Guilty until proven innocent" - the person simply isn't in the hypothetical courtroom. They just exist, being a person that is currently in my life.

Also, being of any orientation is not a choice for most. Having a master or slave in our context usually is.

And as long there are rules dictating what is a very punishable offense, I have no need to see a psych who can really only tell me what I already know.

(in reply to FightingChains)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk ... - 6/4/2014 1:20:20 PM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		Congrats you get the grand poopAh award of the day.
Whoops...edited to spell poobah right... Darn me and my typos

< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 6/4/2014 1:22:10 PM >

(in reply to theunlisteddark)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk ... - 6/4/2014 1:31:08 PM   
SweetAmber32


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline 		We submissives have a saying, "I may be a submissive, but I am not your submissive."

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk ... - 6/4/2014 2:38:29 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
Yes. This is one of the cuter sayings. I rank it right up there with "I'm not a doormat" and "my submission is a gift" and submissive profiles that start with: "Here are the rules ..."

I have two points to add, here:

People tend to use the word "respect" a lot. While I agree that certain definitions of the word ("hold in high esteem") certainly seem to require some degree of being "earned", common courtesy should not. When people don't exhibit common courtesy, it speaks to their character; not the character of the person to whom they refuse to give quarter.

The second point is: the definition of "submit". I think a lot of people would do themselves (and others) some good if they would actually look at it.

This lifestyle (very generally) and this website (very specifically) have carved out this "definition" of "submit" that doesn't fit any of which I am aware.

I blame "Fifty Shades of Grey"








quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetAmber32

We submissives have a saying, "I may be a submissive, but I am not your submissive."





Screen captures still RULE! Ya feel me?

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to SweetAmber32)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk ... - 6/5/2014 2:39:41 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		Old time poster meatcleaver, used to always say submissives were aggressive dogs pulling their owners around by the leash. The basic fact of relationships is: working with the partner you have; and playing to each other strengths.

It might be sexy to be "controlled" but cleaning house and grocery shopping remains tedious - even if "ordered" to do it.

I used to argue with Amayos that the real limits of power have to be understood by the dominant and not projected onto the sub. Only by understanding where your power is can you actually exercise it.



< Message edited by cloudboy -- 6/5/2014 2:40:28 AM >

(in reply to SirEpitome)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk ... - 6/8/2014 7:46:38 PM   
slaveoubliette


Posts: 74
Joined: 5/22/2014
Status: offline 		thank you for pointing that out SimplyMichael, perhaps people forget when you point a finger three point back at you. It is simply collarspace and other sites have no true accountability protocol and so you get the problems that go with it.


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk ... - 6/8/2014 9:22:40 PM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

quote:

What I am noticing is that these women, the reality that they want is someone first to accept them, their body and their personality, and they want to determine the rules, and any decision that does not agree with what they want is summarily rejected. Any attempt to assert authority, respect, consideration is met with open resistance, surreptitious disobedience, passive-aggressive behavior, interest, commitment, and even attempted recruitment of "allies" from other online friends, from among friends and family (who, sadly enough, do not have the maturity to say "It's between you two.") Any response is generally either ignored, or meant to deride and insult any approach that is not one they have already predetermined as the one true way of doing anything.


This paragraph is where your going wrong

You shouldn't be attempting to "assert authority" over anyone online. And, this may come as a surprise, but we actually have the right to choose who to like, or god forbid LOVE, based on what you men bring to the table. If you don't have what we need, we have the RIGHT to reject you. Same works in reverse.

It's called dating

Dating is after the fact. Same as according to you, there being no assertion of authority online, there is no 'dating' online.

The task is and I think the point here and what is glaringly missing online, is how to use the net to...get past the net and actually start dating. For me, it has been private chat and that starts vanilla. Then in time meeting which is after all, the key here, when 'dating' really starts and that most often...is vanilla.






< Message edited by MrRodgers -- 6/8/2014 9:23:26 PM >

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk ... - 6/8/2014 11:37:12 PM   
theunlisteddark


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/30/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
you'll bore the pants off 'em


The plan.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 94
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