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dink22 -> RE: DOMMES (5/9/2014 4:21:19 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: needingrelease50
Is it just me or are the majority of so called Dommes on this site just playing games? How can anyone expect someone to truly submit after only 2 emails back and forth? And what is up with this financial domination? Are their really fools that desire this? Does a true Domme block you just because you call them out for how they are acting and talking to a perfect stranger? Please help me understand this.
It really depends on what you're looking for. If you want a sexual relationship, it's not hard to find here but you'll probably have to pay money for it. On the other hand, if you're looking for something more along the lines of a romantic, live-in relationship, I wouldn't waste too much time here. Even if it really is someone looking for a lifetime relationship, so many of the "dommes" have extremely impractical ideas.
For example, this whole, "It's not about you or your needs., it's about me. I couldn't care less about what you want" (and that's not uncommon here) is simply not a practical basis for a meaningful relationship. And "dommes" who think they're going to find something deep or permanent with that mentality are kidding themselves. That's not how a relationship works. There has to be mutual respect on both sides. Of course that certainly includes you. If you both try to have good communication and are willing to make some sacrifices, it can happen but, again, you have to have someone who lives in the real world. I had such a relationship for 6 years from 1988 - 1994. We would probably still be together but I got a great job offer and her mother got sick and she felt she had to move back to her hometown to take care of her (I even offered to let her mom move in with us but her mom didn't want to leave where she was.
I had a bunch of false starts in the years that followed, mainly because I tried to find dommes on BDSM sites, but seven months ago I finally met someone sane who had a real job. We've moved in together and it just gets more thrilling all the time.
As far as expecting you to "truly submit" after 2 e-mails, chances are it was just another person (sometimes a guy posing as a female) trying to exploit submissive males for money. If you read the profiles, these types seem to be the most common:
PRO DOMMES. They want money. Some don't call themselves pro dommes, and don't even mention money. But their profiles tell you what sort of "services" they offer.
FINANCIAL DOMMES. They want money. They're probably not real dommes anyway (a few might be). That's where you get the guys posing as women. They'll tell you how they're going to "rape your wallet" and other cliches because they've got to be the most unoriginal thinkers in the world and not very bright on the whole.
SCAM DOMMES. They want money. They'll write profiles saying they're "looking for a serious LTR with a sub/slave." They'll engage you in a few e-mails then find some reason to ask for money. Often it's "travel expenses" to come and meet you. Another scam is they'll tell you they just want you to send them 150 dollars because they're tired of men agreeing to meet and then never showing up. I don't know how guys fall for this. I guess they really WANT to believe something.
GOLD DIGGER DOMMES. They want money. These are women who have heard that submissive men tend to be successful and powerful in real life, and they hope that by being "dominant" they're going to meet some millionaire.
PHONY DOMMES. They don't want money, but they also don't really want to meet you. There are several different types:
The older woman who posts pictures of herself that are 25 years old. She's getting older (and probably heavier) and wonders how submissive men would react to her if she was still in her early 20s. She's not actually serious about meeting anyone.
The younger woman who is doing what basically amounts to research. She wants to understand the scene without actually having to be part of it. She has all the tired cliches (e.g. "lick my boots slave"). She'll converse, but fall off the map after 3 or 4 e-mails.
Game players. These are rather sick women who like getting a guy all excited and then shutting him off cold to see him squirm and suffer and go ape shit trying to get things going again.
Ugly dommes. Not all of these are "phony," but they're typically grossly overweight and unattractive and trying to be a "domme" to find someone.
Are their genuine lifestyle dommes here? There are, not many, but there are. The problem is most of them really aren't "looking" for someone. A decent looking lifestyle domme doesn't really need to "look" at all. The secondary problem is that saying you're a "lifestyle" domme gets all of the above-mentioned much more attention. So they make that claim all the time even though it isn't true. That's nothing new. Back in the 1980s (and probably even before that) in those seedy tabloids that the prostitutes advertise in (e.g. Al Goldstein's "SCREW") nearly all the pro dommes mentioned they were also lifestyle dommes and we're looking for a permanent slave. That helped drum up business.
Hope that's not too depressing to hear. Here's the good news. Many normal women (trust me, wayyy more than you'd think) are secret closet dommes. I wish I'd known this when I was younger. The problem is figuring out how to attract them in the first place and how to bring out that inner dominatrix. They are genuinely interested in "experimenting with a sub guy, but they think they're not supposed to be.
That's another thread all together.
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