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RE: Emotional Stability - 5/13/2014 7:53:35 AM

Moderator7

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This thread has been locked for review

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RE: Emotional Stability - 5/13/2014 9:07:22 AM

Moderator7

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The thread has been cleaned and open for discussion again. Have fun!

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RE: Emotional Stability - 5/13/2014 12:18:39 PM

CreativeDominant

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Now that the thread is open again...

I've always said...and have done so a few times in other postings on here...that I would rather be alone and happy than be with someone and miserable. What defines misery for me? Being in a relationship simply to be in one. Being with someone who claims they are something and then, is not. (and that is not judging by MY standards but by their own). Being with a partner who clings to the point of making me feel like I am dealing with an obsessive rather than an independent person who happens to be submissive to me. Being with someone not willing to love without all kinds of parameters put around that love to the extent that when you think you've broken through, you're wrong.

Someone above noted that a strong person wants a relationship. That may be true but I would give the caveat that a strong person wants a relationship that fulfills both partners. Otherwise...where is the need for the relationship? If I am treating a patient and they are doing all that I ask of them at home and at work but they are not getting better, then why is there a need for that relationship to continue? The patient is giving and I am trying but I am not fulfilling their need. I would refer them to another healthcare provider that can provide them a differing form of help than I am giving. By the same token, if I am treating a patient and they are taking my care but not doing a thing to help themselves, I would again refer them. That is a professional relationship but both parties have to participate in order to be fulfilled. I look at personal relationships in much the same manner...both parties have to participate and both parties have to be fulfilled by their...and their partner's...participation.

I prefer to be in a D/s relationship rather than a vanilla one...been there, done that, got the scars...but I don't find any more fulfillment in a healthy D/s relationship than I do in a healthy vanilla one, just more satisfaction. I have been in a couple of D/s relationships that looked bad compared to a couple of my previous vanilla ones.

If I can't have healthy participation...and fulfillment...then let me be happy alone.

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RE: Emotional Stability - 8/25/2014 6:34:24 AM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bucephalus

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
<snip>
Are you asking this as a comparison to a non-D/s relationship or as whether one is in a relationship or not?

But I was referring mostly to D/s vs Vanilla styled relationship comparisons,...

I've always heard, based on various studies spanning a few decades (give or take), that the fundamental difference in men and women in their respective approaches to entering into committed relationships (which I believe every D/s does qualify as, due to its core "ownership" factor) is that with women are more focused upon the "who[m]" they wish to partner up with; whereas with men, it's more about timing or the "when" of their readiness to settle down.

In a vanilla context this would pertain to choosing one's mate and life partner. Granted, D/s relationship dynamics are not ordinarily prioritized toward the goals of getting married and starting families. If there is truth to the differences in mating approaches between men and women, I am wondering whether D/s relationships come together along these same lines or whether the nature of a D/s dynamic is phenomenally exceptional in this regard. In other words, when finding the *right* Dominant male or the *right* submissive male, is it more about being in the *right* place at the *right* time in their lives?

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: Emotional Stability - 8/25/2014 8:52:14 AM

HeartAndSoul31

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Call me weak but I am more focused content and happier in a relationship. I do feel more stable. But the key word is compatible! Otherwise I am a total Jekyll and Hyde, I'd rather chew my leg off then go through the roller coaster of try g to make a square peg fit in a round hole, talk about drive ya nuts! Lol.

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