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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Trying to get into this is proving to be near impossible.

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Trying to get into this is proving to be near impossible. - 5/12/2014 2:36:08 PM

Scrumhalf9

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/7/2014
Status: offline

Hi. I'm Andrew and I'm very new to this scene. I have been into bdsm for a while but I'm now trying to experience it and it seems impossible. After hours of trying to find someone to teach me or at least talk to me about my curiosities i didnt find one person who offered to help. All i seemed to find were online financial dommes, who are most likely bots any way, trying to suck every penny i had out of me. (luckily they didnt get one). But its just frustrating. Im 21 im straight and im a sub. Has anyone else had similar problems and how did you get past them.

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RE: Trying to get into this is proving to be near impos... - 5/12/2014 2:51:25 PM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

Patience, grasshopper!!!

Like any sort of relationship, BDSM or 'nilla, it can take years to find the right partner.
If you are expecting a result in a few hours (or weeks, or months), the only people you'll find that will accommodate your desire for insta-domliness will be those selling professional services.

_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

(in reply to Scrumhalf9)

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RE: Trying to get into this is proving to be near impos... - 5/12/2014 3:15:59 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

Hi Andrew, and welcome to the boards.

Part of the problem is your profile states you're 'currently owned'. If it means you're married or part of a couple, many folks will shy away from that. If that's no longer the case, you might want to delete it from your profile.

Generally, sub males new to the life style find more doors opened to them in their local community. You're in an area where there are likely many lifestyle groups, activities, and munches. Do a search for these and check FetLife. Volunteer, offer to help with whatever's needed and get to know other lifestyle people. Wowing them with your great personality will get you farther faster than anything you can do online (besides pay, which isn't what you're into.)

Best of luck on your journey.

(in reply to Scrumhalf9)

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RE: Trying to get into this is proving to be near impos... - 5/12/2014 3:33:20 PM

sandyTheSub

Posts: 24
Joined: 4/13/2014
Status: offline

It also may be easier to bond with subs first - as there is no "pressure" of a possible relationship and so it is much easier to communicate.

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)

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RE: Trying to get into this is proving to be near impos... - 5/12/2014 7:59:00 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Scrumhalf9

Hi. I'm Andrew and I'm very new to this scene. I have been into bdsm for a while but I'm now trying to experience it and it seems impossible. After hours of trying to find someone to teach me or at least talk to me about my curiosities i didnt find one person who offered to help. All i seemed to find were online financial dommes, who are most likely bots any way, trying to suck every penny i had out of me. (luckily they didnt get one). But its just frustrating. Im 21 im straight and im a sub. Has anyone else had similar problems and how did you get past them.

Dude, it is easier now that at any other time in human history. By far. Don't believe me? Watch this clip from a daytime talk show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOdNFx9kg0c

Find a woman you like, via normal vanilla dating, and tell her gently on the first date that you're interested in exploring the whole Fifty Shades world, what does she think about that? If she likes and trusts you, 99% likelihood she'll be willing to explore together.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Scrumhalf9)

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RE: Trying to get into this is proving to be near impos... - 5/12/2014 11:17:47 PM

orgasmdenial12

Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline

Your post seems to suggest that you are looking for someone to help you explore your curiosities. In other words, you are looking for someone to do something for you. Try to think about what you could do for them, in order to make it more mutual and complementary, and less one-sided. Another option is to go to local events and meet people there, who might be willing to carry out your wishes.

(in reply to Scrumhalf9)

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