quote:

ORIGINAL: hardyballzee
<snip>
Then I found out about collarme.com and fetlife.com and I thought my desires had been answered. I was excited to find an open minded community with people with all sorts of fetishes and things that me, a guy that likes getting kicked in the balls by women, would even find odd.

Did I find that?

Nope, not at all. Well, I guess I did find a website full of people with all sorts of fetishes. I did find that. Did I find the open arms, open minded community? Nope.

Matter of fact, I found a society that was more harsh in their judgments than modern day churches. <snip>

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

OP, if you don't mind my asking.....why are you listening to them? By them I mean the people talking bad about your kink? Fet is aimed at different people into the same sorts of kinks and there if you talk about something that no one is into, well, they just commonly don't talk to you about. So why bother getting upset about it at all?

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardyballzee

A website like collarme.com and fetlife.com people shouldn't have to be so descreet and tiptoe on ice when bringing up a subject. They should feel free to bring up what they want to bring up (as long as it isn't anything truly wrong like non-consensual rape) and not fear being ridiculed and chastised for it. People who enjoy something like scat for example, shouldn't have to fear posting, "Hey I enjoy scat" and then having 10 replies from judgmental people telling them to put a gun to their head and pull the trigger, because enjoying scat is just oh so ever such a fucked up thing to like.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardyballzee

A website like collarme.com and fetlife.com people shouldn't have to be so descreet and tiptoe on ice when bringing up a subject. They should feel free to bring up what they want to bring up (as long as it isn't anything truly wrong like non-consensual rape) and not fear being ridiculed and chastised for it. People who enjoy something like scat for example, shouldn't have to fear posting, "Hey I enjoy scat" and then having 10 replies from judgmental people telling them to put a gun to their head and pull the trigger, because enjoying scat is just oh so ever such a fucked up thing to like.

You're putting words in people's mouths. Cut that out.

While I haven't seen judgment against people's kinks per se, I HAVE seen judgment against people doing risky things with no idea what they're doing. Per your earlier examples, it's very difficult to cause serious damage with a severe spanking as long as the kidney area is avoided. But face slapping and ballbusting can easily cause serious damage if done wrong. As a consequence, collarchatters look askance at those activities much more when done by newbies.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KYsissy

I read through the first 4 pages of this thread, http://www.collarchat.com/m_4399494/mpage_3/tm.htm.

I didnt see anything "judgemental" there. Lots of gun safety 101 stuff. And a few "not me Hell no"

No "you freak wierdo wahts wrong with you " stuff.

Maybe we have different views as to what constitutes judgemental.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: KYsissy

I read through the first 4 pages of this thread, http://www.collarchat.com/m_4399494/mpage_3/tm.htm.

I didnt see anything "judgemental" there. Lots of gun safety 101 stuff. And a few "not me Hell no"

No "you freak wierdo wahts wrong with you " stuff.

Maybe we have different views as to what constitutes judgemental.

I think this thread might explain why he is upset although it was 3 years ago and I think more people had a problem with the lecture attitude than anything else.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3812428/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3812428

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardyballzee
<snip>
Fieryopal is completely missing the point, I'm not asking to be embraced or celebrated. I'm asking for a little itty bitty thing known as respect. That's all. You don't have to like what I like, I don't have to like what you like.... It's subjective, and yet Fieryopal treats it objectively....

Then we have sexyred1 who thinks it's perfectly fine to harshly judge people and be extraordinarily hypocritical while doing so....

What is so difficult to understand about people who feel that a website like collarme.com should be about acceptance and no judgment? It is a website about fetishes, kinks, and anything and everything BDSM. It is SUPPOSED TO BE for people into those things and it IS for people into those things.
<snipped re more butthurt>

quote:

ORIGINAL: KYsissy

Thanks. That clarifies much.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

No, dude, you're the one who is not only missing the point, you have missed the whole oceanliner of Titanic proportions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardyballzee
<snip>
Fieryopal is completely missing the point, I'm not asking to be embraced or celebrated. I'm asking for a little itty bitty thing known as respect. That's all. You don't have to like what I like, I don't have to like what you like.... It's subjective, and yet Fieryopal treats it objectively....

Then we have sexyred1 who thinks it's perfectly fine to harshly judge people and be extraordinarily hypocritical while doing so....

What is so difficult to understand about people who feel that a website like collarme.com should be about acceptance and no judgment? It is a website about fetishes, kinks, and anything and everything BDSM. It is SUPPOSED TO BE for people into those things and it IS for people into those things.
<snipped re more butthurt>

First off, you don't know what you're talking about. sexyred is one of the least judgmental people on these fora, if you had spent any amount of time over here other than to whine and throw a hissy fit about how others aren't jumping at the opportunity to cater to you.

You ask for respect on what basis, pray tell, the same sort of instant respect that you DON'T give others? Your profile says DO ME DO ME DO ME, I WANT I WANT I WANT, BEAT ME KICK ME HURT ME. You and thousands of other males seeking your own personal free fetish-kink delivery system. What makes you such a special widdle snowflake?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain
Actually, Red, both ball busting and face slapping that been spoken badly about on this sight before because of the "critical:" damage they can cause (broken ear drums, ruptured balls, eye damage, etc) *by the way issues brought up by other posters as I take part in both I have no issue with either*

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain
Actually, Red, both ball busting and face slapping that been spoken badly about on this sight before because of the "critical:" damage they can cause (broken ear drums, ruptured balls, eye damage, etc) *by the way issues brought up by other posters as I take part in both I have no issue with either*

That's true, though. Maybe the people pointing it out are acting holier-than-thou, but it doesn't mean these fetishes aren't edge play. Men really have died from having their testicles crushed, and, hell, the first woman I ever met in real life from CM told me the following bad online date story. She met a man, they went to a hotel room, and suddenly he slapped her face, hard, when she wasn't expecting it. He dislocated her jaw beneath her left ear.

So those are both forms of play that are more risky than heavy spanking. Does the OP want people to pretend that isn't the case?

But hell. I bet I could tell my lady-friend, right now, to kick me in the nuts, and she'd do it. It isn't my fetish, and it isn't hers, but she trusts me and enjoys doing things that make me happy. So whatever the big huge impossible wall is, it isn't ballbusting. It's connecting with another person in the first place.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BecomingV

Hi hardyballzee,

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4588480

^^^ This is a link to a thread I began called "civility and responsibility." I think it's well worth your while to read it because there, we discussed these issues that are causing you distress. It can show you some different voices. You really aren't alone in your qualms or desires.

Other than that, okay, I read the entire thread. I see a few things that can be alleviated by using the serenity prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change:

(how web site owners decide to use their site, how other posters express themselves, the fact that anyone who puts themselves out there will be criticized, attacked and misunderstood at some point, the prejudices and ignorance of others, the mistakes of others, and those who are just plain wrong ~but sometimes surprise us with a mid-thread epiphany~ I love those the best.)



The courage to change the things I can

(such as, your attitude, your reaction to other points of view, the decision to give emotional space to strangers on the internet, some of whom are only here to spew ugly stuff because that's all they have, the choice to use the hide button, the way YOU post and how that creates the social culture here, etc..., or which site to have fun on, and which people to give time and attention and emotional access.)

and the wisdom to know the difference.

The wisdom needed for this situation is acquired through time, experience and patience. More reading than posting, more self-improvement than criticism of others' faults and practicing acceptance of the existence of disparity, injustice and unfairness, among we humans.

The notions of "should," "I have a right," and "it's not right," become obstacles to accepting reality. Am I saying that you are wrong to have these thoughts and desires? No. It's just that expectations need to be aligned with what is really happening. What happens to children when they become adults? They realize the world does not revolve around them, does not owe them anything at all and that if they want a different life, they have to create it.

You know, be the change you wish to see in the world. (Is that Ghandi?)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardyballzee
Are you people incapable of reading comprehension?