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Subs and Weddings - 7/9/2006 9:05:55 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Thoughts, advice, and past experience stories. I would like to hear what you think.

At what point do you let go and let your female sub take over and plan the wedding? 
Do you consider it lazy or smart for the Male Dom to give in this one time to sit back and only make sure that the wedding stays within a budget while the submisive bride plans everything else? 

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/9/2006 9:21:28 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		You mean her mother hasn't planned the whole thing yet?

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/9/2006 9:31:10 PM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline 		I have a feeling that my future mother-in-law, aunt-in-law and sister-in -law will be planning my wedding... I think my voice wont be heard much, but hey, who am I to complain, I get to marry Master, so I'll be happy with whatever they decide.

Though Master has wonderful taste and I think he'd make the best choices for our wedding.

~dancer


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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/9/2006 9:38:53 PM   
brattybutterfly


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/19/2004
Status: offline 		Why not discuss and plan the wedding together?? I know my Master and I have discussed our differences and I pretty much could see me planning things and then except for my dress choice, which He already knows my dream dress, reviewing everything with Him. If the relationships we have as Master/slave or Dominant/submissive are based on trust and communication why would not wedding planning be the same thing? 

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/9/2006 9:46:01 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I eloped.

I'd just seen my sister drive my mother crazy for 3 months over planning  her wedding, and they were fighting like cats and dogs over trivial stuff. I didn't want to even go there, so we just went to a Justice of the Peace, and a year later had a very small wedding in a church (we had to wait a year for that, because my husband had been divorced, and I am a Catholic and we had to wait for an "annullment" of his previous marriage before we could marry in a church).

I think my mother was actually grateful we eloped, I think my sister's wedding wore her out (she did take over a lot of things my sister should have had a say in, though)  - my parents were not "hurt" that we eloped - they took us out to dinner and we all celebrated afterward. 

**Having three daughters and no sons, and knowing three weddings can be very, very expensive, my dad's approach to funding was this: You get X___ amount of money to spend on your wedding. Spend it all on the dress or the food if you want to - but that's all you're getting. Understood?

It was a reasonable amount of money and none of my sisters had a problem with it. They actually gave us some of that money because we eloped, and had no fancy wedding, and we opened a savings account with it. 

**I would go online and research how much the average wedding cost these days (I heard it's something like 17K) and reduce that amount by 1/3 to 1/2 and make that the budget (because if you shop around you can always get deals)- but that's just me - But- she might really resent that (find out - if it means a lot to her, since it's her wedding day - a very important day - you might want to re-think that advice).

But - ask her and yourself if you want to be paying for this wedding five years from now because it maxed out all of your credit cards.

But - having said that - not all brides-to-be are Bridezillas, she is probably really happy and excited. Ask her to tell you when she wants your opinion and needs it, otherwise tell her you'll assumee she doesn't. That's my two cents. 

How much do you really care what color the after-dinner mints are, anyway?  Good luck, congratulations and have fun!

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/9/2006 10:12:32 PM >

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/9/2006 10:19:03 PM   
TheShadows


Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet
At what point do you let go and let your female sub take over and plan the wedding?


As a Female, my answer would be...FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.  If you're like most men, you don't give a shit whether the invitations are on white or ivory paper...as long as you're not going to have to pay for it for the next 10 years.  The logistics of weddings are ingrained in womens' cells.  All the men have to do is show up, get dressed, and be sober enough to seal the deal back at the hotel.

quote:


Do you consider it lazy or smart for the Male Dom to give in this one time to sit back and only make sure that the wedding stays within a budget while the submisive bride plans everything else? 


I think you'd be a very smart man to do just that.  All you have to do is sit back and play Mr. Accountant for a while.  Keep the books, wear the cool green visor hat, run the numbers for each new purchase, and chime in with "We can't afford this! Choose something else!" as necessary.  If you leave the rest to her, it will be wonderful, beautiful, and magical....All the while, staying in the black.

Best of luck,
Mrs. Shadows

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 3:20:46 AM   
wandering4u


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline 		Sit back and let her do it but keep your veto power available!

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 4:26:07 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Thoughts, advice, and past experience stories. I would like to hear what you think.

At what point do you let go and let your female sub take over and plan the wedding? 
Do you consider it lazy or smart for the Male Dom to give in this one time to sit back and only make sure that the wedding stays within a budget while the submisive bride plans everything else? 


It's smart.  Review the plans, make sure they stay in budget, other than that, butt out! Actually, no, I'm sure she'd enjoy his input, but truth is, most men seldom have a flower or color preference.  They care more about the food at the reception.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 4:50:17 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Elope or go to the justice of the peace, its alot cheaper and you can spend all the money you would have spent on a big party (wedding) on a nice honeymoon. Or better yet, bank the money for the down payment on a home if you don't own one.

But if you have to have the big party, let her plan it with your input. For whatever reason weddings are supposedly the big point (other than childbirth) in women's lives so let her have her day in the limelight the way she's always envisioned it. Let her be happy and all dreamy, because the dim reality of married life sets in soon afterward.

~Lashra
Whipping asses since 1981



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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 9:49:27 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Advice from someone who planned her own wedding...twice:


ELOPE


If that's not an option, here's further advice: If you are a micro manager, then you'll never be happy just handing the project over. If you're just interested in the outcome (i.e. you get legally married and do so under budget), trust her and let her run with it. But, perhaps something in the middle might work and the two of you can do it together. Let her pick several things that she would really like for each major option and then present them to you. She does most of the work, you make the decision which way to go.

Master Fire


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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 11:19:11 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Our wedding is mostly for our family's benifit, and to give me a chance to wear a pooufy dress. (*glee* it's so good to be able to say this in the defininte and not the abstract)

My Owner could frankly care less abuot most things. As such, I pretty much get to do what I want. If you -want- to plan, by all means, plan. BUt if you don't, I think the female types get a lot of pleasure out of it. The way we're gonna work it is that I'm gonna get all my ideas, make sure they're doable and in budget, and then tell him about 'em. He can then modify or veto if he wants. All the planning's on my head, without him having to do something silly like wear a blue suit. :)


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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 11:35:41 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		My first wedding was quiet and lovely on the beach in Monterrey. I had a few members of our family there, I wore my mother's weddng dress..it was quite wonderful.. the marriage sucked unfortunately. It doesn't matter what the wedding turns out like, it matters what the marriage turns out like.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 7/10/2006 11:36:02 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 4:39:16 PM   
subedana


Posts: 100
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		Going strictly traditional here. The wedding is for the brides mother and then the bride. As long as it's within budget let them have it and save yourself the headache.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Thoughts, advice, and past experience stories. I would like to hear what you think.

At what point do you let go and let your female sub take over and plan the wedding? 
Do you consider it lazy or smart for the Male Dom to give in this one time to sit back and only make sure that the wedding stays within a budget while the submisive bride plans everything else? 

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 4:56:04 PM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		We have just set the date for our wedding (Dec 9). It's not going to be your usual run of the mill wedding however Master has been involved with dirt track speedway racing for most of His life and He is a member of the crash crew, so we are having our wedding at the speedway - they are going to use it for publicity so we virtually get a free wedding!

I'm quite happy to leave the arrangements to Him - He has some great ideas for the ceremony and He has great contacts. The thing I am most worried about is turning up on the infield in a 2 seater sprintcar after it's barrelled around the track a couple of times - I wonder if I'll be able to stand up after that!

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 7:03:58 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Thoughts, advice, and past experience stories. I would like to hear what you think.

At what point do you let go and let your female sub take over and plan the wedding? 
Do you consider it lazy or smart for the Male Dom to give in this one time to sit back and only make sure that the wedding stays within a budget while the submisive bride plans everything else? 
What do you want to do?...Tempting

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 7:22:33 PM   
PrincessGirlie


Posts: 13
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		I am an Event Planner as part of my job....it is very hard for me to delegate durring an event (I consisder planning a very imporant part of the event....really my favorite part...so much so I feel a bit of a "let down / depressed time" afterwards...).  I think this would be a time I would need MUCH MUCH redirecting in a relationship with a Dominant man.  That just might be fun!!!  I am such a perfectionist in my events that I would welcome someone to bring me down to earth and take ownership of somethings.  This might save me a lot of stress (but then I really like the stress of my events....I think I am a big ole contradiction...LOL)

Never mind!!!!! I have rambled....just do it ALL!!!!!!


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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 7:53:32 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Thoughts, advice, and past experience stories. I would like to hear what you think.

At what point do you let go and let your female sub take over and plan the wedding? 
Do you consider it lazy or smart for the Male Dom to give in this one time to sit back and only make sure that the wedding stays within a budget while the submisive bride plans everything else? 


You are the Dominant, exercise your rights as you see fit. ( and tell us how it goes)

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 8:24:27 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'd say it depends on how involved you want to be when it comes to picking out invitations styles, colours, fabrics, menus and decorations etc etc etc. If these things are very important to you and you have the wedding planned out in your head exactly the way you want it then stay completely in control

If you really couldn't careless and just want her to have her dream come true then let her plan it with your input. Yes i can guarantee that she'll want your input *S*  Because she wants to make sure you are happy too.

Pesonally I'd take the 10K + that you'll end up spending on the wedding and do something fun with it. and elope instead.  Weddings are stressful.

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 8:39:49 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		"What do you want to do?...Tempting "

My dream wedding would be a Star Wars Theme. My bride to be would have her hair like Lea and I would be a Tux similar to Darth Vader. The ceromony would be performed by someone who spoke the same noun/verb switch as Master Yoda. My groomsmen would be dressed up as jedi while the ring barer would be a padawon. Our DJ would be dressed as Jaba.

My second choice and one that we can both agree on would be themed around Gone With the Wind. I perfer Rhetts tuxedos and outfits over most of todays modern attire.

On some of the wedding shows, we've noticed how some Pirate and Mardi Gras themes looked and went very well.

Last week, we attended a bridal show. After entering all those damn drawings for free cakes, lemos, chocolate fountains, carriage rides, and such, I came up empty handed and a ton of advertisement email.

As for now, we're still looking for churches.  

_____________________________

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 9:12:06 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

"What do you want to do?...Tempting "

My dream wedding would be a Star Wars Theme. My bride to be would have her hair like Lea and I would be a Tux similar to Darth Vader. The ceromony would be performed by someone who spoke the same noun/verb switch as Master Yoda. My groomsmen would be dressed up as jedi while the ring barer would be a padawon. Our DJ would be dressed as Jaba.

My second choice and one that we can both agree on would be themed around Gone With the Wind. I perfer Rhetts tuxedos and outfits over most of todays modern attire.

On some of the wedding shows, we've noticed how some Pirate and Mardi Gras themes looked and went very well.

Last week, we attended a bridal show. After entering all those damn drawings for free cakes, lemos, chocolate fountains, carriage rides, and such, I came up empty handed and a ton of advertisement email.

As for now, we're still looking for churches.  
LOL...egads!!!..leave it ALL to her!..this is my best "bad submissive" advice...and may the force be with you Darth Fangs.......Tempting

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